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My son was born when I was seventeen. His Mum left us when he was two weeks old and I was left to look after him alone. At this point I had been a heroin addict since I was 14 and a heavy drinker/smoker. I fought for so long to get clean and kept having to start all over again. I became schizophrenic and depressed with PTSD. It took me years to become 'normal' again and I did it all for my son.I'm now the 20-year-old Dad of three children. Nathan (3), Eleanor (5 days) and Joshua (5 days). I have an amazing fiance and good job. My son Nathan suffers leukemia and I have been having a hard time coping. Nathan means so much to me and I have been fearing him dying and struggling to be there as much as he needs. I haven't bonded at all with the twins, I felt like Nathan needed me too much. The doctors recently told me that it wasn't looking good for Nathan and it crushed me. I have been terrified for a while that I would give in but promised myself I wouldn't
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