Question:

I'm a man, but are these funny?

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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?

Exchange him.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?

A power failure.

What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?

When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be h**l.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

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  1. haha


  2. love them have a star lol  

  3. haha yeah dey r !!!


  4. its cute and yah quite funny!!!!


  5. the first one was not funny, but the rest were LOL, i was LMAO

  6. LOLZ XD SOOOO FU**CING FUNNY MAN !!!

  7. ha ha ha!!! awesome!!! i loved all of them!!! you have got a star from me!!!

  8. Ha Ha Ha, very Good, you are Awesome.Lol

  9. Why did the man ask all his friends to save all their burnt out lightbulbs?

    He wanted to build a darkroom.

    Why did the man keep all the empty milk bottles in his fridge?

    In case anyone wanted their coffee black.

    Why is Santa a happy man?

    He knows where all the bad girls live.

    Why can't men make ice?

    They don't know the recipe.

    Why does it snow at christmas?

    Santa's coming!

    Why did the man get a stabbing pain in his eye everytime he took a sip of his tea?

    He forgot to take the spoon out.

    What do you never want to hear while you're having great s*x?

    Honey I'm home!

    What's the best revenge when a woman steals you're husband?

    Let her keep him.

    What's the best place to hide a man's present?

    The washing up basket.

    Ten things men know about women.

    1.

    2.

    3.

    4.

    5.

    6.

    7.

    8.

    9.

    10. They have b***s.

    What would have happened if it were 3 Wise WOMEN?

    They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, heled deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought practical gifts.

    What's the difference between men and ET?

    ET phones home.

    How do you kill a man?

    Ask hime to jump off his ego and land on his IQ.

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