I'm a middle child and I feel ignored?!?

Question

I'm a 15 year old girl and I have two brothers, one is ust eighteen and the other is nearly 11.

My older brother is always geting into really bad trouble yet my parents always kind of spoil him and tell him they love him the most, even though he doesn't appreciate it.

My little brother is spoilt and ALWAYS gets his own way. Whenever we are forced to go on a family day out he always gets to choose and he has the nicest everything. He also follows me around purposely to annoy me and I get into trouble when he gets hurt or whatever.

I always feel like I'm caught up in the middle of these two, even though I am the best behaved. Sometimes I think of getting into trouble or puting myself in danger just to get my parents attention.

What else can I do to get their attention, and don't say talk to them because I already did that and they told me not to be so stupid.

Answer 1

well first off DON'T do anything drastic like getting into danger/trouble... that won't help at all.. that will only make you feel worse in the long run...

just keep being you... i know it's hard but that's all you can do... just try to keep making yourself better and they will eventually see all that you have accomplished... try to stand your ground when you want something...

It probably only seems like they don't pay enough attention to you, when in reality it is they just don't have to worry about you. I am sure they know that you have a good head on your shoulders.

Answer 2

Well, it sounds like your parents have some issues to work out. But, you can do your part as well. Don't go and get into trouble. Be extra-good. Your parents may not notice now, but as you age and improve in your talents and abilities, you'll one day shine.

Sometimes though parents are never satisfied or pleased... and that is their own fault. Sometimes you just have to endure these things. Be patient and always be kind to your parents. Pray, it helps.   One day you'll have a family of your own and you can be the parent you've never had.

Maybe one day they will understand. Again, you just need to be patient with them.

Answer 3

Maybe they don't pay as much attention to you as you'd like because they know you are the more responsible one.  And they know you can stay out of trouble.  Don't become another child they worry about and stress over.  I don't truly understand what you're going through since I'm the youngest in my family, but I do understand when parents just don't listen and worse- don't want to listen.  Don't get into trouble or get hurt for attention or for anything.  It's not what you want to hear, but keep trying to talk to them.  I don't know how your previous conversation went, but... Sit them down alone and keep it a serious atmosphere.  Make a list of times that they have really hurt you because they showed lack of attention.  Remind/explain to them if you must.  Even little things count, like being able to choose where you go out to eat.  Maybe suggest what they can do- like alternate who gets to choose.  Tell them the little things add up.  You let the little things go sometimes, but now you can't take it anymore.  Tell them you feel as though you need to do something crazy or put yourself in danger for attention.  Put all your emotions out there- really show them how serious you are.  Stay calm but if it leads to an argument, don't run off.  Let them know you don't want to argue.  You just want to let them know how you feel.  Maybe even tell them it took a lot to say anything at all to them this time because they didn't want to listen or take you seriously and called you stupid last time.  Let them know it hurts that they didn't even WANT to listen.  Stay and finish the conversation.  Make sure you get to say everything you need to say.  After the talk, everytime they hurt you again make note of it for the next conversation.  Sometimes people don't realize what they are or in this case are not doing.  Sometimes it takes a few arguements, several conversations, and lots of tears.  People can't change over night.  Don't give up just keep talking to them.  Hopefully they start to realize and gradually change.  This may take weeks or even months.  Things will get better with time, but you need to keep letting them know how you feel.

Answer 4

well all parents love all their children so dont feel bad its very common for them to pay more attention to the youngest cause they dont understand as well as you. you behave and dont get in trouble

Answer 5

I can't even beleive a parent would tell a child that. Your feelings are not stupid. I know it is hard being the middle child even though I am the youngest of five. I have heard my middle sister express the same feelings when we were growing up and my daughter who is 18 has also expressed similiar feelings. Okay, so your not alone and what your feeling is valuable, real and not stupid at all. I wish I had some good advice for you. Why don't you search the internet and do some research on this problem. In the mean time, just do the best you can do and know that things will get better. I hope that you will continue to be open with your parents about your feelings and I pray they are not so quick to dismiss them.........it is wrong to do that to your child. Take care, Peace be with you and many, many blessings to come. You will be rewarded for your good behavoir, someday!

Answer 6

This is a classic case of middle child syndrome. I have seen this so many times it makes me feel ill. I can only advise you to continue to do your best in all things that you endevor and don't do anything bad to try to get their attention, it will not get you what you are looking for. Try to speak to your parents and let them know how you feel, maybe they don't realize what they are doing to you emotionally. I will continue to think of you and pray that things change.

Answer 7

OMG! I so used to have that problem! Im 14, i have a little brother who is 12 and an older one who is 16. When we were littler i always got ignored. but now that my older brother is pissing my parents off constantly by s******g up in school and my little one is in his arrongant "I am the most important peron EVER" phase, i am golden! the only thing i have to do is just not act like my brothers and do stuff for my parents and i get practically anything. Hope things look up for you!

Answer 8

Don't worry honey it will get better. Just keep doing the right thing and you will get the attention you deserve!! I am also the middle child and delt with the same issue  you are. My older brother is in jail and my younger sister and brother are still spoiled brats. It may not change but just remember it will make you a stronger person in the long run.

If you get in trouble your only asking for negitive reinforcement. Trust me its not a good way to get attention.

In my opinion you sound like a sweet girl but just a bit confused, Try doing really really well, like clean your room without being asked or maintaining good grades in school, or not fighting or arguing when it is so tempting, and know deep down that you are the better person.

I wish you luck with your situation please before you do anything that will harm you or put your self in danger keep asking questions. GOOD LUCK