I'm a obese girl looking for advice on health & self-esteem, please help?

Question

No, maybe fat isn't the BEST word. Obese is more like it. I'm 19 years old and I probably weigh close to 340 pounds. I have been obese for about 10 years now? No maybe less than that. It has to be less than that. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

I have always thought that because I'm so fat that I will never get a guy, however it was just a passing thought that would always return so I never was bothered by it, until the past couple of years. My self-image is so poor that when I walk into a building and I see my reflection though the glass I have to look away from it quickly so I won't see myself. Each time I look at myself I feel this wave of disgust, shame, and fear.

There is not a darn good thing about myself I find like able at all. Even my personality is called into question because while I view myself as a good person, I find that my faults (such as my Irish temper & obesity) will conquer over any good will I have. I feel so scared that I won't ever find a man who will find me attractive in anyway at all that I will never marry and have a family, like I want to.

I feel ashamed of myself so much that I refuse to apply to work at a near by clothing store because they won't hire a fat girl that can't even fit into the clothes they sell. Also, I'm even starting to have trouble finding clothes my size at Wal-mart. My grandfather who is a WW2 vet never says a thing about my weight, and yet in my mind I think that he deserves a better granddaughter who is pretty than I am.

I don't know, my mom constantly tells me I need to lose weight but fo rme I just acn't stop myself from eating. Oh I notice when I'm over eating but I just can't stop until I'm full. My brother who is younger than me is only a few pounds short of being considered a healthy weight for his age group won't stop insulting me by calling me a fat ***, fat *****, you know all those good names.

My self-esteem is so poor that if I do meet a guy that might hold real interest in my personality that I will never be able to trust him on his word because I will always assume that he's just saying it to be nice and polite.

Anyway what a pity rant I threw out into this wonderful Yahoo feature. I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips for an obese woman to lose weight, right now I'm trying to convice my family to eat at home as much as possible since take-out isn't a good idea. Any excerises that would help me lose weight would be great.

I have no idea how to boost my self-esteem since all I want to do is hide in my room. If anyone knows what to do regarding that, it would be helpful...

Sorry for typing so much but I can't sleep and I have class in a few hours so I was hoping this might calm me down and help me to rest.

Thank you to anyone who answers.

Answer 1

ok i didnt read what you wrote because im super tired, but i pretty much have an idea what its about.

my advice is making an appointment with the doctor and talking about your health and eating habbits..

or join jenny craig or weight watchers or something.

but dont ever give up, its not impossible,

i personally know a lot of people who have lost over 100lbs.and have kept it off.

Answer 2

Well about the getting a guy thing, I think the guy should like you for who you are, being 340 lbs or less. Size really shouldn't matter. Everyone is worried about their weight, I went on a diet, and love the feeling after losing weight. It makes you so happy and helps you to have a better time when your out because even if your still heavy you know you look better and can keep improving. I'm not saying you should go on a diet, just that it could raise your self esteem. For your grandfather, I'm sure he thinks your beautiful no matter what, at least he should! You could always try applying for a plus size store, that way you even get cheaper clothes that will fit, don't be ashamed with your size. You only live once, and you should be happy all the time. Who really cares what other people think, no matter what, their never pleased. Everyone is judged, and we need to get over that. Weight Watchers really works if you want to diet, it's also easy to eat a lot on it, just get 100 calorie foods, and that way you can have enough to fill you up and not go over on eating. and for excersizing, start taking walks! and when you get to a better size, try an eliptical machine! hope this was helpful :]

Answer 3

Ok, so I used to have the same problem. My aunt was a soccer player, and she pressured my into soccer. Now i play soccer and i am really fit. My BF is on a diet, so when i'm home i mostly eat raw food and nuts, and drink water or spots drink. thats all i can reccomend. also check your local library for Rawvolution by Matt Amsden.  

Answer 4

hi after reading i come to the conclusion that you must have a strict diet and lose some weight first. for that there is a very efficient way of doing it, its a challenge that some hundred of people have undertaken to lose weight. it is the HCG-Challenge and believe me it really does work. Visit this page to know more and to have information and to view the blogs of the person in it. www.drugdelivery.ca/hcg-challenge.aspx.

the people on this diet are of the same weight as you and when you read their posts, you see that they are really losing weight. try it and your self esteem will be back again! good luck!

Answer 5

The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. You have to exercise. Until you realize this and fully accept it, don't even try.

Most Americans are overweight, but you sound like your weight is really affecting your overall health.

Here's the deal: five months ago I weighed 230 lbs. I now weigh 170, and am still dropping. This is the honest-to-God truth.

I stopped eating junk food, I stopped drinking regular soda (diet still works, just eat a bit of fruit or something with it so you can still get some sweetness for your body), and I STARTED EXERCISING.

I now ride my bike between 50 to 80 miles a week, which is how I am losing weight so quickly. When I first started, I could barely make it around the block.

I don't mean to be rude, but you've got to understand and accept this: until you are ready to accept that YOU are the cause and the solution of your weight problem, you are not going to go anywhere.

It takes commitment, it takes courage, and it takes a whole lot of pain, but in the end, it's worth it.

So, instead of asking people what to do, you need to ask yourself if you can handle sticking to a weight loss goal.  

Answer 6

It may be hard for you to do some work outs but try this first.

Eat nothing but salads fruits and veggies for a couple of months reward your self with a food you want to eat once a week. Go for walks. Dont listen to what people say. You have to believe. Then also drink water instead of sodas. try to eat 1,500 calories a day.

There is no secret to weight loss. It is more about your will. How bad to you want to lose the pounds. Also get a picture of a model and hang it on a wall in your room and tell tah picture that you are going to look better than it. This will boost your self esteem. Then get on you routine. I will guarantee in 3 months in 3 months if you have been doing what you need to do you will see a huuuuuge change. You can be in shape by xmas if you start now. Monday begins your new life now that I got you motivated, I am going to bed lol! Good luck. I want to see a post of you saying you did it on yahoo answers. Oh yeah also get some fitness bands from wal-mart. Weight training also burns fat.

THE KEY IS TO STICK TO IT AND ALSO TAKE A DAY OFF BETWEEN WORKOUTS SLEEP BUILDS MUSCLE THAT CAN BURN FAT.

Also get a stationary bike and put it near a tv that way you can watch it while riding it and you look up you rode it for 30- 1 hour with out you knowing it.

Sorry I had to put that in caps so you could read it. Oh yeah on more thing get a muscle and fitness mag the for hers one. It has routines in there also

here is the site

http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/

It will inspire you. I got the other one here

http://www.muscleandfitness.com/index

If you do not like working out alone then the gym is another place. And since you are self conscience then a place like Curves a gym that caters to larger women may be for you.

Also take pic of your self and hang it on the wall so you can see your transformation. It will inspire you also to show that it is working.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Its all about diet and exercise.No more fast food.Eat whole grain pastas and breads.Stick to a diet of just poultry and fish.Brown rice instead of white rice.Lots of water at least a gallon a day.Drink a glass of water before you eat.You'll get full faster and really it takes 20 mins. for your body to realize its full.  

Go for a long walk.Walking burns just as many calories as running.I'd say start at a mile walk on a track and then eventually bring it up to 3 miles.  

Hope that helped.  

Answer 8

saying those things about yourself wont help at all.if you want to loosethe weight them stay stong and get through it.

good luck.

Answer 9

Sounds like your suffering from depression. its nothing to be ashamed of, you just need some help. your brother and mum are exactly like mine are with me, ignore them, they should be helping you not making you feel worse. your grandad loves you, if he thought you were overweight he'd tell you and at the end of the day everyone is a different shape and everyone is loveable, you just need to belive that. You may not think it now but one day you will meet someone who loves you for you, regardless of how you look.

as for the weight issue, i think you need to see a doctor because it sounds to me like your weight issue is being made worse by the way your feeling. its nothing to be ashamed of. i was exactly where you are and it got to the point i was thnking about killing myself like every moment and then i just woke up one day and thought, i am not gonna let the way other people view me, destory my life. so i got up and over the last 6 months ive lost 56 pounds and finaly learned to like myself, i just want you to know its do-able.

learn to love yourself girl

xx

Answer 10

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=...

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=...

those will really help

u can do this

I believe in u

Answer 11

Well,after reading your entry in Yahoo answers you sound like a beautiful lady with lots to offer anyone you meet. Unfortunately there is only one definite way to lose weight and that's with lots of excersise and eating the correct things. Perhaps you could invest in a dog that you could take for daily walks? There are many ways to introduce a little gentle excersise into your life without having to join gyms or classes,having a mad little dance in your room until you start to perspire for half an hour will equal a work out at the gym. Personally,I don't believe we should all be a certain size or look a certain way,but it sounds to me that if you got going on changing your lifestyle slightly and noticed some weight loss it would do wonders for your self esteem. I wish you well,but remember even the highly glossed,air brushed celebrities on the front covers of all the magazines have big hang ups about themselves and their bodies.

Answer 12

Losing weight is tough, but if your mind is there you WILL succeed!! There are some good books to point you in the right direction.  I recommend:

Eat this not that (there are a couple ones out, they're helpful)

Dr. Phil's 7keys to weight loss

I don't know if money is a problem or not? Signing up at a gym? Make a routine and stick to it! You should have a designated days and times that you go.  Do you have a friend that might want to lode weight with you? I think it is also helpful to do it together to keep each other motivated. I also think it is helpful to plan your meals ahead of time also.

Hopefully your family is understanding of your wanting to lose weight...and if they are let them know there needs to limited junk food available in the house.  Make it a point to have healthier snacks around the house.

BTW eating out isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just depends on what your choice is :) Good luck!