I'm a single mother of a 10 year old daughter.I'm about to get married with a really good man?

Question

My daughter have a attitude problem.She hurts my feelings by telling me how bad i look when i pick her up from school.She dont want to be seen with me unless im well dress.She is in a private school and most of the kids are white. I am black,my daughter is coloured.Sometimes she acts like she is 20....

She always wants to look good,have the latest toys,clothes and shoes. She throw tantrums if she want something and just wants her own way. Pls tell m e what to do???Im feeling of just take her to her father and go on with my life....

Answer 1

1st: you need to whoop her you know what! you're the mom, don't take that stuff. it will only get worse down the road.  when she's throwing a tantrum throw cold water on her (from the fridge), keep doing it till she "cools down" and then tell her it ain't gonna fly anymore!

2nd: she is probably acting out because she feels different.  as for wanting everything, it's probably the school environment. private school kids are generally stuck up, snot nosed children.

3rd: Did this all start when you fiance came into the pucture? if so, she is jealous about that too. If not, what does the fiance have to do with the question?

4th: Sending her to her fathers permantly is like telling her how selfish you are and that all you care about is yourself. If you really want to ruin any relationship you got with her, go for it.

5th: nice name...that really says a lot in a nutshell. If you send her to her fathers or continue letting her act like that, then your not a hopeless mother, you're a hopeless person.

I like the statement about volunteering in a homeless shelter or poor neighborhood. Make her see that her life could be SOOOOO much worse off than it is.

Answer 2

I say go for it!

Answer 3

Sounds like a typical kid to me.  Put your foot down, all kids want everything they want right NOW!  As a parent it is your job to pick and choose what she gets and what she doesn't.   I would have to say I would take away a privilege from her when she insults you and acts out like this.  For example:  no TV when she gets home or suspend her phone privileges.  Also, make her earn her keep by doing chores to earn an allowance to pay for all the elaborate things she "needs", then she will learn the value of a dollar, maybe then she won't take things for granted.  If none of this helps maybe you should seek counseling for your daughter, as the issues causing her to act out may be more complex, deeply rooted, and not just the classic spoiled princess syndrome.

Answer 4

I think you need to get some counseling.  I would start by not using the term colored when describing her.  That would be a little embarrassing in itself.  Children go through phases and you just need to roll with them.  However, you do have to set some boundaries and stand firm in your decisions.  The best way to do this is to find a good counselor one who has children and learn first what you need to do and then how to do it.  If you don't you will be in for the worst 8 years of your life.   All kids can make you evaluate your worth on any given day.  Just get help so you know your doing the right thing.  Good Luck!   Isn't it an unbelievable job?

Answer 5

NO THE WORSE THING YOU COULD DO IS TO TAKE HER TO HER FATHER IF YOU DONT THAT U WILL REGRET IT LATER IN LIFE TRUST ME IAM 13 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROB TOO!!SO WHAT MY MOTHER DOES IS SHE GROUNDS ME OFF OF MY GAMES AND THE COMPUTER AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!I CANT TALK ON THE PHONE OR NOTHING!TRY THAT ON HER AND SEE IF IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT TRY THREATIN TO BEAT HER SHE ISNT TO OLD TO GET A BEATING!!IF SHE KEEPS SAYING HOW BAD YOU LOOK YOU TELL HER WELL THREATEN HER THAT YOU WILL MAKE HER MOVE SCHOOLS AND SHE CAN RIDE THE BUS HOME AND TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY!!TELL HER SHE SHOULD APPRECIATE  YOU FOR EVERY THING YOU DO FOR HER!!

Answer 6

you and her "father" created this crappy situation for her to live through and you are blaming her for the way she is trying to cope.  In my opinion you should read and listen to Dr. Laura.  You should be focused on her well being over any of your inhibitions.  Her needs and life trump your own.

Answer 7

She probably has the attitude that she has to be a certain way around the kids and is trying to fit in.

Funny story: I broke my kids from trying to be stuck up when the were in Elementary school...they always complained if my hair wasn't completely in place or whatever. So my friend and I would always joke about going in one day with gold lame' hot pants and leopard print shirts and red high heels and our hair curled and teased really high. (I would never ever go out looking like that...) But she didn't know that! I went to the thrift store one day right before I had a meeting with her teachers and bought the gold pants for $1.00 and had them laying on the bed. She saw them and started crying. I took her to school wearing the jeans and a t-shirt and told her I would see her at 10am for the meeting.

I came dressed in slacks and a sweater...I could see the relief on her face when she walked in...it was funny!!! She never complained again.

I don't know how that story will help you, but I thought it was funny

Answer 8

Keep in mind she has peer pressure up the wazoo at this point, especially in a private school where she doesn't want to be seen as, "lower class".  I know it seems crazy to think of 10 year olds worrying about their image but, it's about the age where kids will start discriminating against one another as to who is better.

Perhaps it's time to teach her a life lesson in humility.  Volunteer at a shelter and take her with you one weekend a month so she can see what it truly looks like to be poor and needing things vs. just wanting something.  That or every time she throws a fit wanting something she will start losing things.

Answer 9

That is the worst thing I have ever heard.  She is your daughter you can't just pawn her off on her dad. How will that make her feel.  It would make her feel like since you're getter married you don't want her anymore and then if you have more kids she will hate you more than anything.  And what if those kids hate you too? you cant pawn them off on anyone because you'll be with their dad.  Sorry but you sound like a horrible mother who cares more about your happiness than anything else and I feel bad for your daughter.