I'm a vegetarian with a non-vege boyfriend. how can i respect his decision when i find it so uncompassionate?

Question

I'm a vegetarian who is genuinely bothered when she sees people eating meat. i have to deal with a lot of non-vegetarians who are otherwise really compassionate, considerate people i enjoy being around but i feel a distance between us because of this. what can i do to respect my omnivorous friends?

Answer 1

it sounds like you don't respect it. u should change or he should change or you shouldn't be together

Answer 2

Agree to disagree.  Everyone, including you, has a choice about what to eat.

Answer 3

am i the only person who reads the bible?? God put certain animal on this planet for a reason.if he didnt want us to eat them why was he asking the Isrealites {moses and his tribe} to sacrifice on an altar. Obviously he doesnt think it is wrong so why does everyone else think it is??? I know every one thinks it cute and sweet and popular for some reason but you are really just making up all those reasons. It is meant to be.

Answer 4

Don't be judgmental.  Everyone is on his or her own path.  Lead by example, not by nagging.

Answer 5

Either suck it up or find new friends. Sorry, but I only speak the truth.

Answer 6

I don't have any right to tell anyone else what to eat and noone has any right to tell me what to eat. I'm a vegetarian but many of my friends are not. Everyone has got to do whatever they need to do to survive.

Answer 7

When I first started dating my guy, he ordered lamb in a Greek restaurant. Now he and I are both vegetarians, only occasionally lacto-ovos, striving to be all-the-time vegans. He became a vegetarian because - gasp!- he started thinking about what he was eating! And he knew I could be a good influence because I'd been off meat for nine years.

Also, we watched the documentary "Earthlings" together. It was the most difficult hour and thirty minutes I ever spent in front of a computer monitor (24"!) but he and I haven't had a doubt after watching that that we have made the right decision in ceasing meat consumption. You might want to share this, plus the biology of meat eaters vs. vegetarians in the animal world to bring some insight to his meaty life.

And make sure he knows that being a vegetarian is really f***ing hot!

Answer 8

His choice is the same as yours. He probably doesn't see himself as 'uncompassionate' - he just likes meat and doesn't see it as anything wrong. That is his choice as your choice is yours.

Us meat eaters are compassionate about other things - one of them is a big juicy Rib Eye. In all seriousness - if you are thinking about changing him - don't do it. You will just make him mad and probably you single.

Answer 9

I look at beingg a vegetarian similar to a religion.  Everyone has different religions just as everyone has different views about eating meat.  We are not supposed to judge people, God is the only one who can do that.  You just have to accept them for their decisions and be very proud of what you stand for and your decisions.  However, do not shove it down other people's throats.  When anyone ask me why, I say it is just a personal choice.  I dont feel it is fair of me to give them the real reasons and make them feel uncomfortable.  If they keep asking, I just say something I saw and that is it.  Then, if they want they can always look it up and check it out.  That is how a lot of people become vegetarians.

So that is just my opinion.

Answer 10

It's hard to see people you care about doing things you find morally reprehensible.

I've been vegan my whole life, and I can't say that it gets any better. Either find a way to overlook their habits (not likely if you're veg for the reasons I am) or look for friends and partners who share similar beliefs.

Answer 11

I personally am sooo lucky that my husband was a vegetarian before I even was.  I don't know what I would do if something happened to him.  I don't think I could date an omnivore.  I don't even know if I could date a non-vegan.

It's a tough one though, because where would I be if he wouldn't give me chance just because I was an omnivore.

This is part of becoming a vegetarian.  I too feel different now that I know the truth about the animal industry.  It is still hard for me to understand how some people find out the truth but just look the other way.

This is a decision that I can't really help you make.  All I can say is look inside your heart and follow your instincts.  If the veggie thing were the only reason you were concerned, I think you would just stay with him...but if there are other issues and this is just another problem you have with him who knows.

Good luck to you and know that everything will work out in the end.  I'm sorry that I couldn't offer more.

Answer 12

Bear in mind that (a) you are in the minority; (b) others may feel as critical of your choices as you do of theirs; (c) far more women than men are vegetarians, so your situation is far from unique.

If you feel a distance, remember that your unwillingness to participate in their fare and the offer of conviviality it implies will make them feel a gulf as well. I feel equally uncomfortable when I entertain orthodox Jews, Moslems, or vegetarians at my dinner table.

Answer 13

Just remember they have their own beliefs, and if they respect you, I think it is only fair to respect them.

Answer 14

This is YOUR problem - not your boyfriend's.  You were aware of his views when you started dating him, and can't expect him to change.   If it bothers you that much, then you probably need to end the relationship and find someone who shares your views......

Answer 15

To each his own, just don't look at their food. People sometimes think I'm weird for being vegan but I'd never judge anyone else for their choices. I've been veg for 19 years and have always dated meat-eaters. You get used to it.

Answer 16

I think if he respects your thoughts, you should also respect his. It's a new day and age, people rely on other people. He may not understand why it's so evil to eat an animal. People think differently. Honestly; i think it's cruel, but i love meat and it's openly available to me so I'm going to eat it.

Don't sweat the little things. As long as he doesn't purposely find a huge juicy steak and eat it in front of you, then he's doing nothing wrong.

cheers.