I'm adopted, should i tell my parents that i have a brother?

Question

i was adopted when i was almost 12 (i am now 15). it's a long story, my life, and i'll spare you the details. but somewhere out in the foster care system i have a 4 yo half brother. we were separated (another long story) when he was about 9 mo. my adoptive parents don't know about him, but lately i've been wondering if he's ok or not. should i tell them? and what are the odds if we find him they might take him in too/ there are 13 kids in my family already (they had 5. prego w/ #6, and adopted 7. 1 in foster care temporarily until papers go through with another family). they love kids, and we could afford him, but i already have a twin 13, 10, 9, 5, 6, 14 mo. old bro's and 11, 11, (not twins), twin 7 yo, and 2 yo sisters.,along with this new baby, would a 4 yo boy be the straw that broke the camels back, i don't want to be a burden to them but i don't know/ i need advice here. what should i do?

Answer 1

YES.........I think you should tell them

Answer 2

It sounds like you really love and care about your little brother. You should tell your parents about him, but not in the frame of asking them to adopt him. They already have so many to look after. Your brother may even be happy where he is, so maybe you should see if they can help you find him, so you can visit with him.

You and your brother have a common bond, and he may become more important as you get older and become an adult. If you wait until you're older to search for him, some of the leads will have gone dead, and you won't be able to be the big sister he maybe needs.

Good luck!

Answer 3

yes you should tell them and then see how he's doing.

Answer 4

Talk with your parents.  They may not be able to adopt him, but they could help you stay in contact with him.  Are you sure that he is even still in Foster Care?  Younger children usually get adopted pretty fast, plus I am sure that when you were adopted your adoptive parents may have already known about him and he may have been going through the adoption process when you were adopted and was on his way to a nice family.

What I don't understand is why they separated the two of you.  Most times they will try to keep siblings together.

Just go to your parents and let them know that you want to check on your brother.

Answer 5

They so loved you enough to give you this wonderful home with sisters and brothers. I think you should definatly talk to them and maybe they can put you mind at rest. Or at lease help you in a search to make sure he is ok and to get you two back in touch. Come on what do you have to loose, on the other hand your brother may need alot of prayers right now and God has placed him on your heart for that very reason. So yes talk to them and see what happens. Got you in my prayes and please keep us updated

Answer 6

this is an easy question to answer. if u are for certain about this other child being ur brother then absolutely bring it to their attention. now they may or may not be able to adopt him. but it could be arranged where as u can go and see this brother. and frankly i'ld purse it if i was u cause i know he's just 4 but what if he knew about you but didnt know how to see you. so leave it up to ur adoptive parents if they can afford another child. if by some chance they could then all u can do is ask. you'll never know the answer unless u do so

Answer 7

I would just talk to them maybe they can locate him and if they don’t want to adopt him themselves maybe they know someone who would be willing to adopt him. Who knows having 13 kids they may not thinking adding one more to the family is no biggie.

Answer 8

I would not suggest asking your parent's to adopt him. Let them make that decision. You should sit down with them though, and tell them about your brother and your concerns. They may be able to at least find out for you if he is okay.  

It is tough because of all of the laws regarding this kind of stuff, but you should pursue it. Your parents sound like very loving people, and I'm sure they will be willing to help you in easing your mind about your brother.  

Best of luck.

Answer 9

talk to them about it, and even if they dont adopt him, talk to them about going to visit him!

                                 best of luck

Answer 10

You should tell them that he's out there.  You may be allowed to visit him at the very least.

Answer 11

You should definetley talk to them. This way you all can decide on what is best. They are your parents, even if you are adopted, and they will listen.

Answer 12

Just tell them what's on your mind.You're still a kid yourself baby and they will understand.It's called being human.If you sit down and talk to them express your true feelings and concerns.You can tell the that you know there plate is full right now,but you just want to make sure he's o.k,never know they might adopt him to.You won't know unless you ask.They sound like they are great people in fact wonderful!And it definately sounds like they love kids.It don't hurt to try,they can either say yes or no.I know it sounds easier than done,but you won't know if you don't attempt to sit down and have the talk.Goodluck,baby!

Answer 13

tell them,if they don't want to take him in,they may help you find him and you may be allowed to visit him.

Answer 14

right now ur smaller brother needs help so u shud tell ur  parents that u hav  a smaller bro and r concerned abt him

and leave te rest upto them

they ll certainly know do the best for him and u

Answer 15

YES  tell them now!!!!

Answer 16

I really feel for you.......being separated from your brother must be a hard thing. Adoption is something that has to be up to your adoptive parents, but I would at least tell them about your brother. If they can't or won't adopt him, and if you find him, maybe there's something they can do to help you get some visitation rights to see him. My prayers and thoughts will be with you.

Answer 17

I was adopted when I was seventeen, chances are that they already know about your brother.  When they got the paperwork on you I'm sure there was something in there about your brother.  If you feel strongly about it then bring it up to your parents.  just don't be surprised if they don't sound/ look shocked when you tell them.  good luck, and congrats on the great family.....

Answer 18

I would tell them, I cant imagine them not knowing already. But I would not expect them to take him in just maybe try to find him. You appear to be a smart young lady. Good luck to you.

Answer 19

Talk to them about it.  They are your parents now and love you, and definatley want to know what you're feeling.  Don't get your hopes up that they will be able to adopt him as well, it's often a little more complicated than just having room or being able to afford another child, but I don't see any reason that you wouldn't at least be able to have some sort of contact with him.

Answer 20

If he was a 9 mo old baby when you were adopted by your family he may have been adopted by a family quite early on. Your folks probably know about him. They may never have discussed this with you to "protect" his new family from "intrusions" (some families don't want to be contacted cause they don't want to tell the child about adoption early on). But I would talk to them about your recollections of him and let them know that you are yearning to see him.