I'm adopted and i blame my birth mom, is that wrong?

Question

I'm adopted and i blame my birth mom, is that wrong?

Answer 1

there are no wrong emotions. what do you blame her for? giving you up? is there a problem with your adoptive family that you blame her for?

Answer 2

Thats not wrong.  My nephew was adopted to another family, my cousin couldn't care for him, even with our help.  She was 19, and seriously bi-polar.  It sucks, but all of us felt it would be better for him then.  Sometimes there just isn't much choice.

Answer 3

What do you blame her for, specifically?

Do you know any information about her? Did she have a stable home life? Was she young when she had you?

Many factors can lead up to a woman's choice to place her child for adoption.

Most women don't just "give" their babies up because they "don't want them." In today's society, financial situations alone can completely shatter motherhood for single mothers. If she sought help during her pregnancy, it's also likely that she was pressured or "recruited" into placing you for adoption because everyone told her it was the "best thing to do."

I only know this because when I was 17, I became pregnant with my daughter. I chose to parent my child, and she is now 5 years old, but I did stay in a maternity home for a short while when I was pregnant.

I only speak of the things I was told and forced to listen to in presentations there, pressuring every young girl there to let their babies have a "happier, fuller life" with a "happy, successful" family through the "gift of adoption."

I strongly dislike the methods that some adoption agencies use on mothers seeking help and resources.

But, I understand WHY some mothers choose to place their children for adoption. They do so with the hope and assurance that everything the agency promised for their child will come true.

In all honesty, she most likely was not ready for motherhood (whether it was due to age, finances, unstable family, etc), and thought that you would be raised in a nice home with some of the finer things in life.

Rather than being angry without knowing her reasons, consider the above, which are many of the most common reasons why adoptions exist.

I cannot speak for her, but hopefully I can offer up a bit of understanding for her.

Answer 4

I don't know the full story, and it sounds like you might not either.

I imagine you are going through a lot of emotions and anger over not knowing who you are until now could be a big part of that.

I am bet your adoptive parents feel the opposite to you, as for without your birth mother, her actions and her decision there would be no you.

I hope you have people you are close to that you can talk this over with. Sounds like you need to get your feelings out.

Your feelings are yours and they are never wrong. Once you have all the information about your adoptive mother and why she felt the need to adopt you out your feelings may change. No one can tell you what to feel.

Answer 5

Have you ever wanted to contact your birth mom? If you have, Then you should find someone to help you look her up. My mom was adopted and found her real mom, and they are so much alike and they get along great. Yes technically it is your birth moms fault that you were put up for adoption but she may have felt that it was better for you. She was probly trying to give you a better life than she could give you and as much as it may seem wrong, you have to look at it from both perspectives for example maybe she was really young and couldnt care for you. She obviously put some sort of thought into it or she would have just had an abortion, This doesnt make it right for her to have given you up. but you need to look at it from all sides.

Answer 6

ummm you blame her for what?

Answer 7

Maybe you should just forgive your birth mother and just be thankful she made the choice to put you up for adoption and that she didn't choose abortion.

Answer 8

Umm,

Do you know why your adopted?

Like do you have the whole story?

And no its not wrong,

there your feelings,

they cant be wrong.