I'm adopted should I ? they abused me pretty bad.

Question

abHello,

i have been adopted for 15 years and I am 16 teen years old. My birth parents abused me but on I want to talk to them. I have never seen or talked to them but I feel like I need too now. I dont want to be there friend or have them tink that I want to live with them. I just need to now somethings. should i ?? The parents I have now cant answer want I need to know.

Answer 1

uuuuummmmmmmm...... why would you want to talk to people that abused you. If i were you, i wouldn't want to talk to them. But if you want to, go ahead.

Answer 2

It will be important for you to talk to your birth parents now or some time in the future if for no other reason than to know your family medical history. As long as you are realistic in your expectations I see no reason why it would be "wrong" to talk to them. Maybe if your lucky, they will be stable enough to stay in contact with over the course of your life. It's no excuse for what they did, but you know not everyone is meant to be a parent. People who are disturbed, and in bad situations end up with children way to often. You shouldn't feel bad about being curious, or being interested in what kind of people they are. No matter what they did to you, they are still part of you, people who have relatively good relationships with their "good" parents never seem to understand that.  One of my parents was an addict and did some pretty horrible stuff to all of us, but when you give in to the idea of being ashamed of or hating a biological parent you end up feeling a little bad about yourself. It's hard but you have to know that even when your biological parents are not healthy to be around they are still just people who do the same kind of crazy messed up things that people do.  Whatever else they did, they were still the ones that contributed to you genetically and brought you into the world. I hope you've made your peace/can make peace with that.

Answer 3

Sweety, you need to get those questions answered. If you are scared of going alone just take someone with you. Good Luck.  

Answer 4

You should go and see them and talk about things. Perhaps they've changed, but it's your decision

Answer 5

why would you want to talk to them?

Answer 6

Yes, it would be my opinion that you should see them.  I hope your adopted parents are OK with you doing that.  Make sure you are protected when you do contact them.