I'm afraid I'll never know who I really am. Please,some help or advice. (how to find your birthparents)

Question

I am south korean. I was put up for adoption as soon as I was born. I know my birth mother cared about me a lot, because she did not just put me in an orphanage. She came up with a birth plan and put me in a nice baby reception home and had the adoption agency, Spence Chapin find adoptive parents for me..

Anyways, I would really like to get in touch with my real family, or atleast my birth mother. My parents are pro- the idea, but I fear that since my korean last name was very popular (Lee) it will be very difficult to locate her, or them.

Has ANYONE ever gotten in touch with their birth parents? If so, how did you do it? what steps did you take to find them?

I'm guessing that you would first contact the adoption agency, right? And would there have to be mutual attempts to contact? like, would both of us have to try find each other before outside parties could help us?

Please help!!! this has been bothering me to no end lately... I'm finally ready to figure out who I am!!!

Answer 1

In addition to the search sites, is would also be worth talking to the adoption agency.  Depending on the circumstances of how you came to be placed at the agency, they may not know much to tell you.  But even a little bit of information might provide a clue.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

bananagurl: I noticed you added the word "real" to describe adoptive parents.

This is the burden I talk about on my blogs - the obligation to shut up and make one set of parents feel more real than the other. It is utterly ridiculous.

BOTH sets are real. There is no need to validate one more than the other. If the adoptive parents are secure enough, we shouldn't have to reassure them that they are more "real" than the other set of parents. We are not responsible for their feelings. We are their children, but as someone else said, we were NOT born with the specific job of pleasing our adoptive parents if they're that insecure.

Answer 3

Check out this blog for many links to other Korean adoptees and groups.

I'm sure someone through those links would be able to help.

http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/harlows_...

Also - make sure you add your details here -

http://www.isrr.net/registration.shtml

The above register works only if both parties add their names - then a match is made - but it's a start.

You will need to try and get as much paperwork as you can about your adoption - and from the adoption agency that handled the adoption.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I have found my first family - after 35yrs - and it's amazing to finally know my truth.

Answer 4

I don't know much about how to find your birth mom, but if you contact the adoption agency, they can help you and tell you the steps you need to take.

Even if you never find your birth mom, remember that your adoptive parents are you real mom and dad, and you are who you are, no matter whose kid you are. You don't need to know who your mom is to know who you are. :)

Answer 5

I completely feel you!!!  I am from S Korea as well but different city.  I was in the orphanage from age 1-5 so that's where I have to start..although, the problem is that I was abandoned & found so it's not like they would have info on my bio family.

I would start at the adoption agency to see if they have any information on your mom who took you there.  They may have something and then you can start tracking.  LOL, I know what you mean about your last name...one thing I do have is my real birthname & birthdate..I figure with that I will go back to the orphanage and have my Korean friend write a couple letters for me.

I know that they made a show out of this where adoptees were reunited with their families in Korea. Good luck & if I find any resources I will pass them on.

http://www.kaanet.com/

Answer 6

were you born in Korea? or the states? that makes a big difference on how you go about finding your parents,

Answer 7

aww you poor thing. gezzz i'd say contact the agency and ask them for advice... I'm sure they handle situations like yours all the time