I'm afraid that people wouldn't love me if they knew who i really was?

Question

I'm really scared that if people knew all the things i've done and all my selfish desires and bad reasons for doing things, they wouldn't really want to be my friend anymore.

Please help me.

Answer 1

don't worry about it. everyone has issues they hide from people.  it's natural, no one wants another person to know their deepest thoughts and secrets.

Answer 2

Don't worry. You are the same as everyone else.

Everyone hides behind a mask in society. Do you really think you know people, truly?

The word "persona" means "mask or character" in a novel or play.

Personality is not a genuine representation of anyone- it is simply the form one takes to acclimate oneself to society.

Now, I don't know what "bad reasons" you've had for "doing things." But if it were really bad and you continued to do it, I wouldn't want to be your friend... unless, you stop doing those "bad things."

Good luck. You're probably not as bad as you think

Answer 3

We all have things that we have done and regret doing them. I assume that this is not how you are TODAY. If your friends truly care about you, they will not care about the past and will live in the present day, with the person you are now.

Answer 4

Good insight.  Most people who have social problems just think that there's no one around they're compatable with, or that they just get bored with relationships.  It usually takes years of therapy to see that.  So you're well on your way to solving your problem.

Got some good news for you.  Everyone walking the planet is a selfish human being, this includes the pope and Mother Theresa.  This isn't to say we don't ever do things to help others or care about others.  It just means the reason we do things is always ego centered, we WANT to do them.  Anyone who tells you that they really didn't want to do something but they did it for you is full of s**t.  Another piece of good news is that people are capable of loving other selfish human beings who are just being themselves, not putting on an act.

I had this problem too.  And it was basically because I was told by my parents over and over again what a disappointment I was.  My mother always felt like I had failed her because I wasn't thinking of her the whole time.  So I grew up thinking I was defective, unlovable.  And that I had to change myself in order to be acceptable to people.  Trouble was I couldn't really change.  I could just put on an act.  So I had a difficult time getting close to others because I was convinced that if people saw too much they would surely reject me, just as my mother had.  And there are certainly other voices of shame in the world that will tell you it's not OK to be human.

Your life is your own.  You don't owe anybody anything.  The only reason you're here on this planet is to pusue YOUR happiness.  And no one can really tell you what makes you happy.  Either you know this or you must go on a journey of self discovery to find out what it is that turns your crank, what makes you happy.

Try to find a place with honest people you can trust, not narcissistic preachers(no reference to church implied here) that you can share your thoughts and feelings with.  Maybe therapy.  You may find that what goes on in your heart isn't really as different as you thought.  You've just been told by liars that it was.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. Most people are probably pretty selfish though, I mean, it's hard not to be. You are told to "follow you heart" in life, but sometimes you have to step on someone elses heart to get what you wanted. You might not even realise you did it until it's too late. Or sometimes we just want something so bad we can't think about anything else or do anything else BUT think about it. Don't feel too bad, you're not alone.

Answer 6

You need to go to either a Scientology Ethics Officer and write down all the bad things you've done in a certain process that clears you of these things, or go to a priest and confess them.

Answer 7

well, as i think of it, they shouldnt care what you did or didnt do, but what you do and what you will do eventually. another quote i like about this is "the people who matter, wont care, and the people who do care, dont matter."

if they truely are your friends, they will accept what you did do, and know that you are not proud of it, and they will go on with your frendship and, it will be just as good as before. besides, as long as you are not doing things that you did before that you regret, why do you need to tell them at all? if they dont ask questions to it, you dont have to answer them. also, you say "i'm afraid that people wouldnt love me if they knew who i really was?" well, you used the word "was" that is a past tense of the word, that means that is what you 'were' not what you 'are' now. think of it that way.

i hope i helped!!!

have a great day!!!!

-Angel-

Answer 8

Nah, it's cool.  The people you have to watch out for are the people who don't like you when they hardly know you.

Answer 9

You should be afraid...

It's always bad to feel bad feelings, and do things for the wrong reasons. You shouldn't be warried about what may others think of you, but about being a better person...

If you start being better you will no longer have to warry about what others think of you but about what you feel about yourself,

It's a big effort, but you'll find it's much much much better!

Good luck!

Answer 10

I couldn't agree with you more.  What you're not understanding is that everyone else is in the same boat you're in.  Nobody's perfect.  We all make mistakes and do things we feel we need to hide from the rest of the world.  You can free yourself from your prison by being more open with other people. In the process, you help free them as well.  It's a win win situation.

"We're all alike in different ways."

-Me 1975

Answer 11

It's cool.

Someone will love you.

Answer 12

What u feel, that ure afraid coz u've done bad things and admit it?? Its a good thing. Somehow i know deep down inside ur heart, u regretted ur mistakes and u feel sorry. That is the first step of being a better human. U admit it when u made mistakes. U dont have to confess about anything to anyone if u dont want to. Just do better things start from now own. Even when u have to do something bad, better do it only to defense urself from bad thing and for a good reason. Be more open to anyone u chose if u'd like. I think that'd be helpful. Never too late to fix things and regret as well as confession wont have meaning if it doesnt come from the heart.

Answer 13

This is most people.  And I doubt you have done anything all that bad.