I'm afraid to test because of what my in-laws will say to me if I test positive. What should I do?

Question

I haven't had a period in ages. I came off of Depo Provera birth control in March (I was due for a shot then, and didn't receive it). I spotted twice, about 35 days apart. I was due to have a period again in the mid of May. I still haven't spotted or gotten a period. I believe that if I'm pregnant, I'd be 8 weeks along.

My husband assured me that I'm not pregnant. We had a baby last November. I know I could very well be pregnant. I'm afraid to take a test, because if I am pregnant, I do not want my in-laws to know until I'm almost due. I know that sounds impossible, but hear me out...

I was pregnant last summer with my daughter. My mother in law said she was excited only once I started to show. After I had my daughter, she said that one baby is enough. She only shows my daughter attention when it's convenient for her. She also tries to hint at me being a bad parent.

What do I do if I'm pregnant? My husband will tell her immediately (the day I test), he did last time!

Answer 1

This isn't what you want to hear.. but you have to do what is best for you and if you are pregnant.. whats best for the baby. Don't let your in laws bring you down. It will look worse if you are pregnant and don't do anything until you far along.

Answer 2

You must do whats best for you and your possible baby.  Put everyone else's feelings aside and do whats right and get tested!!!  The same thing happened to me and my boyfriend assured me I wasn't pregnant and turned out I was and again for my two other kids.  Take control and get it straightened out.  Your mother in law has her own problems just worry about being a better person for your child(ren) to look up to.  I'm sure its eating at you each and every day you don't have the answer.  You can't go by symptoms alone sometimes when you think your preganant you start exhibiting those same symptoms.

Answer 3

Yeah, so, get a home pregnancy test and find out. There is nothing that says you have to tell anyone the results.

If you are pregnant, keep it to yourself until you start to show.

If you aren't pregnant, discuss what has been happening with your OB/GYN because something isn't right.

And, your mother-in-law sounds like a real mean, nasty piece of work.

Answer 4

Who gives a c**p what anyone says! You dont have to tell anyone or answer to anyone for that matter. Its your body and if your inlaws are sooo concerned about it, maybe they should talk to their son about wearing protection. If they are only showing your child attention when convienient, you dont need people like that in ur life. Grow some balls and tel her, "look im pg, i dont need your comments. if you dont like it dont talk to me or ur granddaughter." Good luck!

Answer 5

It doesn't matter what everyone else things about you or about you being pregnant. If you are, it'd probably be best to get care right away, explain to your husband that you want to take a test just to assure you, and that if it comes out possitive to keep his trap shut. :P Hopefully he'll respect you enough to do that. About your mother in law hinting at you being a bad parent, well, she sounds like one herself. Don't take what she thinks to heart, if she wants to be a grumpy old wench then let her, and YOU enjoy the love of your baby/babies (if you're pregnant) because there isn't any love more strong or amazing.

I wish you the best of luck.

I might also mention, that after having a baby a lot of women don't have their periods for a while (could be months)...If you're breastfeeding than that increases the time before you might get it again. It depends. A lot of breastfeeding mothers wont have their periods again until they're done breastfeeding. I hope that helps, but everyone is different. Just do a test, you either are or you aren't...and if you are then h**l, that's just one more beautiful face to look at :)

Answer 6

IF you are pregnant it is YOUR BABY!  Not your mother-in-laws.  Tell her to f off and leave you alone!  Shame on her for making you scared of having more children.  It is you decision not hers!  One baby is not enough... unless YOU want it to be enough... Go take that test and shove it in her face... let her know you are proud that you will be raising another beautiful child and she needs to butt out.  Your kids will realize how much of a lame she is when the get older.  What about your parents?  How do they treat your child?  Don't feel bad because some old witch thinks you are an unfit mother... what does she know anyway if she barely sees the kid... maybe your child realizes how cruddy she is and treats her that way because of it!  God bless and good luck! keep your head up.

Answer 7

Go to the doctor on your own, and tell them whenever you want to. It doesn't matter what they say. It's your life, honey.  

If they treat a pregnant lady bad, then stay away from them, and tell your husband the same.

I would go to the doctor. It's been a long time.

Answer 8

you know what. it's your life, your kids, your body, your decision. don't let that c**p bother you. seriously. it's not up to anybody but you and your husband if you want babies. if she doesn't like it, tough sh*t.

Answer 9

My dear, let me get this straight......you'd rather put your babys health and your own at risk by waiting to find out if you are pregnant just because you are afraid of your mother-in-laws reaction??

Let me share something with you.  I recently married my husband last fall.  We were waiting a year before we started to try for children, but guess what, we changed our minds and now we are expecting.  My mother has repeatedly said to me that I better not make her a grandma yet since she doesn't feel ready yet........well I am and she's finding out next weekend as soon as my dr. appt is over!  It's MY life, my child and my marriage.  My husband & I are thrilled.  The only persons reaction you should care about besides your own is your husbands.  

It sounds like you are worried about your MIL reaction far too much.  I'd discuss it with your husband after you've been to the dr. office about how you feel.

Answer 10

Tell her :

"I love your son (and vice versa), and this isn't only my daughter and child I'm carrying (if you are prego) it's his also. Don't you have a little faith in who your son chose to marry, live with, even have children with? I am a good mother and I don't need your approval for every single thing I do with my life. If you only want to see your grandchildren when it's convenient for you then forget about it."

I've been wanting to give somebody advice like this for a long time now!

Answer 11

d**n, your mother in law sounds like a complete cow and your hubby seems a bit under her thumb, but I digress. . .

The most important thing here is you, lady If you think you're pregnant then you need pre-natal care NOW, how can your hubby assure you you're not pregnant? Does he have special detection powers?Men? They aren't always right!

Go to your Family planning clinic and have a test done anonymously, give yourself time to think about how YOU feel and what YOU want. I'm sure you love your husband but hun, your body will be carrying and nurturing this baby so you need no aggro from him or your mother in law, YOU call the shots.

Your mother and law will reach the point where you will tell her about herself in no uncertain terms, if she hints at your 'bad parenting', hint back that it may take one to spot one.

Good luck, i'll knit booties xx

Answer 12

I say, find out if you are pregnant or not. And ignore your dumb in-laws. Don't worry what they think.