I'm always so hard on myself?

Question

I'm 16 years old. I feel as if people always think I'm weird or different because I'm so quiet and shy around certain people. Also, I feel nervous when I go to church even though I don't go that often. I feel emotional a lot, and I listen to rock music a lot too when I feel like that. I feel the pressure of trying to be better and not letting it bother me, but it does. How can I stop being insecure about myself and being hard on myself? How can I just let myself go and just take life as it is?

Answer 1

I know what you mean. Im very shy too. Sorry I cant help you! Good luck though! =]

Answer 2

There are many who are suffering like this these days. The basic reason is they do not have strong moral and intellectual background. There seems to be no one to guide them properly. You are one such.

The remedy for this is first of all you should remove the fear psychosis from your mind from its root. Know how to identify yourself. I want you to identify yourself with great and noble people from among your known memory. You try to emulate them. Secondly you should keep good company. Your friends should be such that they are coming from a good background with strong moral and intellectual background. You are trying to behave with a negative attitude. That is why you have fear consciousness. Even if you are from a poor family background, even if you are ugly, does not matter. People generally judge you from your face value and personality and character. You should mix with lot of people. World consists of lot of good people and bad  people. You should assimilate the good qualities even if it is from your enemy. Any bad quality even if it is from your friend, you should try to avoid. You should not at all try to emulate bad people.

About your emotional aspect, there are two types of emotions. One is positive emotion which helps you to evolve and there are negative emotions, which are harmful for your growth. Love, devotion, etc are of positive emotions. Anger, fear, greediness, lust are examples of bad emotions.

About your fear of insecurity, I would like to tell that those who are holding very high positions in Government and Corporations have lot of insecurity to their life. Do you want a Security Guard always to take care of you? Do not fear when God is near.

Answer 3

Well there can be other people who make you feel insecure about yourself.

sometimes you just have to know which people will except you for you and the ones who won't.

It's not always easy to stop being so conscious. It's not always easy to gain high self-esteem, but it's definitely possible. You need to start thinking positive of yourself and you need to stop thinking that people are out there just to judge you. I can honestly say that in life, people are going to judge you, but you have to accept that fact and move on. Know that nobody's perfect and we don't expect you to BE perfect. Before people can expect you for you, you need to except yourself first.

Answer 4

You should try to remind yourself that all of us have our "meltdowns."  You seem to be concerned about occasionally becoming emotional.  If you were my daughter, I would like for you to read books on subjects that are beyond your day to day experiences as a way grow into a more sophisticated young woman in six to ten years.  Please do not grow up too fast.  Fast living makes great movies but it destroys the life of young lady with a world of potential.  Like, say, you!!  Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to stop caring so much about what people think of you

you like what what you like and you are who you are

no one has any right to tell you how you should be

Answer 6

I had the same problem..but I try and think all the time that it's my life and I can do what I want.  Just whatever you do DON"T HOLD BACK!  Even if you think you're acting stupid, other people probably don't even feel the same way.  But I gave up trying to impress people because there is no way everyone is going to like you.  But just be yourself and say anything you wanna say before you think about it, it really helps.  You won't be as nervous as long as you keeep going for it no matter what.  So get out there and talk to people, put yourself out and who cares what they think!!

Answer 7

I also was shy (still am) and I can relate further because " I wear my heart on my sleeve", this was something I needed to overcome. What I did was got some leadership courses online, but even if you just read a few books on the topic, this could definately give you some great pointers for dealing with social issues, how to handle rejection, and feel good about yourself.

Also you may want to consider putting the principles learned by taking a speech class at a local college. But, what will really help is when you can show yourself that you are a great person who is WORTHY of the self respect, and respect given by others.