I'm an indian girl, and got married recently. My husband works abroad..and his mother is the problem.?

Question

Everytime he comes for a 10 days leave, she'll be always with him...forcing us to visit temples..and relatives. He doesn't seems to understand tht we don't have enogh time together. I can't say anything against her cuz he loves her a lot. How do I convince him tht he need to pay more attentin to our marriage. ?? Somebody pls help me..

Answer 1

-First and formost you are always honest with your husband, but fair. Your feelings are just as improtand as his are.  But don't point fingers or try to lay the blame.  If your husband is that close to his mom he will defend her and a huge argument will errupt.

You need to explain to him what your needs are and go from there.  Sit down with a calm and reassuring energy that most everything is okay except this.  Guys are wired to figure problems out and fix or make a solution, so give him a change to do so.  Explaine to him that you need time with him, Alone and that this is how you most communicate and understand or feel love is through quality time.  

See there are 5 love languages.  He is speaking his and you are speaking yours and some one is not understanding very well or communicating what they need in the same language.  You just need to explain to him that this is who you are and what you need.  Simple. Your husband probably speaks a love language simular to yours but has another also.  Your married him, so obviously there is something you two saw in each other to want to spend the rest of your lives together.

-  Don't make it out to be all his mother's fault, infact just leave her out of 98% of the conversation if you do involve her.  She may understand love in a different language also, but probably very simular to her son's since she most likely raised him.  She may not be trying to do this on purpose.  Most likely your mother-in-law is just trying to find a way to communicate her love for you.  Only in some cases are mother-in-laws trying to be mean or vendictive.  So take a deep breath and relax and be assured how much your husband loves you, and calmly express how you interpret love, but how extreemly important your love language is to you.  

The 5 love languages are

1.) Words of Affirmation

2.) Quality Time

3.) Receiving Gifts

4.) Acts of Service and

5.) Physical Touch.  

-They are not hard to implement into your life and are very simple to understand and can save a marriage and your relationship with others.  If you would like more info on the 5 love languages, just e-mail me and I will be more than glad to help out.  Just remember, calm, understanding, communicate, compromise and learn, but most of all, love.

Go to the site below and find peace of mind and understanding.

Answer 2

try talking to him, and if that doesn't work. try making some plans for you and your husband

to go and have time by yourself. make reservations somewhere for a day or two. it's hard to compete with the mother-in-laws. you have to be careful, but you also have to make your husband be aware you need time too.

Answer 3

just talk to him, and praise his mother,so he will be happy,then tell him that u need some time with him. tell him to take out time without hurting his mother. he will surely take out time for u

Answer 4

i know quite a few indian people and we get along great but ive found that the woman who have sons are very possessive with them, i think the best way for you is when your husbands away have a quiet word with her and tell her you would like to spend some quality time with your husband alone if she disagrees tell her to take a long walk along a short pier

Answer 5

Cut him off from s*x. It will get his attention. Then tell him that you can't do it because his mother-in-law is "ALWAYS" there. Then tell him you want at least 5 of the 10 days for you & him only. No exceptions!   Hold out until he complies.

I know it sounds crude, But this is what will get a guys attention. It will also want to make him remedy the situation.

Answer 6

I think wayne & puggie are right

Answer 7

i am not sure what it is that you CAN do. just try talking to him and let him know tht you too miss him. thewithholding s*x might backfire after all he is not home most of the time .. can you visitt him instead?

Answer 8

Just come out and tell him.  Although I have heard that many women in your culture cannot do this because they will be beaten.  I hope your relationship is different.

Answer 9

Hi there,how i feel for you can you not try talking to her, about this as she would have been a newly married woman at one point,also you must try and talk to your husband about how you feel,never mind not saying anything against her it's you he is married to not her,please try and stand up for your self, start as you mean to go on,be strong and good luck