I'm asking this question for my sister who's going to China next year?

Question

She said she paid about 25,000 dollars on a infant, she would like to know are you guarentee to get a baby in her arms, is it a high percentage that she will not get one?? Also she's wondering would adoption makes more sence if mother and child have a connection at on the first sight? I never adopted one I don't know, I just got whatever God allowed me to get

Answer 1

If you sister is adopting from China, then you (or she) are misunderstanding how the process works.  The orphanages in China get $3000 for the adoption.  If she is in the United States, she paid an adoption agency a fee to process the adoption.  The rest of the money goes to gathering documents and travel costs, including at least 14 days in China.

The process goes something like this:

1. Prospective parent(s) apply to adoption agency.  If they are accepted, they compile their paperwork.

2. Paperwork goes to China.  China reviews adoption application and paperwork.  Right now, it is taking China over a year to review an application.  During this time, the prospective adoptive parent(s) do not know if China will accept their application (although if the adoption agency has approved them, China probably will, too).

3. If China approves the adoption, then the application and paperwork goes to the person who refers the child to the family.  Right now, it is taking two years for prospective adoptive parent(s) to get matched with a child, but that wait is increasing, because their is a backlog of applications.

4. If the family gets matched with a child, information on the child gets sent to the family.  This takes about a week.

5.  If the family accepts the child, they send the acceptance letter back to their adoption agency.  This takes about two weeks.

6. After the family accepts the child, they must wait for authorization to travel to China.  This takes about 45 days.

7.  When the family gets authorization, they fly to China and spend about 14 days there.  They recieve their child and fly back to the US.  If both parents traveled to get the child, the child will be a citizen as soon as the plane lands in the US.

If your sis is not in the US, some of the steps are slightly different, but the process is generally about the same.

Answer 2

If she actually paid $25000 for an infant, then this is not only highly suspicious, it's potentially highly illegal.  Human trafficking, including baby-trafficking, is a serious crime.  I hope that you mean that she's paid $25000 in costs so far to agencies connected with the processing of this adoption.

Answer 3

I had an aunt who went to china and adopted my cousin Becca. It was very expensive, I'm not really sure how much, but she did get the baby. I would have your sister check out the adoption agency with a fine tooth comb. She could also contact your local immigration office to see if they have ant suggestions for you. I think also that it may be a good idea for you to accompany your sister, it's always good to have someone backing you, especially with things as important as adoption, and in a foreign country none the less.

Good Luck. I hope it all works out for your sis. :)

Answer 4

She paid 25,000 dollars for the adoption, not for the baby/child.  She needs to talk to her adoption agency, since her paperwork is all ready in China (I think?) then she will get a referral, will get a baby, whether or not she carries out the adoption is her choice, but I don't see why she would be asking these questions now, after the paperwork is in China.

There is usually NOT an instant connection on the day the child is placed with you, you are in China for another two weeks or so, to bond with the baby while in China, the real bonding, connecting time is when you come home from China and have the baby in her/his new home, with her/his things, and your regular routine.  If your sister is so concerned about connecting with a child so badly, she may want to consider adopting domestically.

Answer 5

No, you need to stay home.  Especially if you:

1. really think she paid for a baby.

2. you really think there is a money back guarantee when "buying" a baby.

3. she should know for herself and doesn't need such "supportive" family members interfering with such atrociously awful opinions.

Edit to add

4. because you really want to make sure the baby is the perfect future daughter in law of your secret desires.

Adoption deserves better than this.  Seriously.

Answer 6

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "accompany her to make her decision". In China the chidren are matched with the adoptive families long before they travel to complete the adoption. The family also in most cases does not chose a specific child, but is referred a child by the agency. They will get permittion to travel once everything is inorder for the child to come home. So, in the rare instance the child could no longer be adopted, the family would be notified long before they traveled to China.

  As far as "making a connection at first sight", a true parent- child bond will not be instant, and will take several months. When we first met both of our boys that we adopted from Korea, they were happy, and affectionate, however, this often is not the case. We still remained strangers to them for a while, and they definetly had to grieve for there losses, and take time to adjust to us and their surroundings, and we had to earn the bond we now share with them.

Also, I'm assuming if she's adopting from China then she is married. If her husband is unable to travel then I know it is recommended that someone travel with her to China.

Answer 7

She pays the fee for the all the adoption services and not for the baby.

She will get a referral, meaning she gets info and a photo of her child and is then matched, usually before she goes there.  So when she goes, she will be meeting with her child.  Some people connect solidly with their child even before they meet, and others take more time.  Each parent is different and all ways are normal.  This is just like biological mothers -- some bond immediately and some take time!

And, yes, it would be great for her to have some one go with her!  It can be hard going to a new country and parenting a child in a hotel room, going to court, seeing the sights, etc. alone.  Tell your sister -  good luck!!

Answer 8

Children are people, not products with warranties.

Answer 9

I commend her for her courage. A lot of your question really depends on the adoption agency she went through. I would recommend going with her because like giving birth this is just as big of a deal and all the support she can get is helpful. Personally i believe it would be easier if the birth mother didn't see the child because that will leave an extra emotional scar in addition to the ones i'm sure she'll always have. I think it will haunt her and the chances of her wanting "her" child back will be more likely if she sees the child. That's only my opinion. For some people maybe that would make it easier.

Answer 10

I adopted in 2006 and we hope to be back in China in 2010 - (paperwork already done).

In China you do not pay 25,000 for a baby. You pay your agency, US Government fees, Travel, etc. and this in the end pay add up to 25 thousand but it does not go directly to China.  It truly is dollars here and there. The child donation is done in cash and goes directly to the orphanage and it is far less than this price.

For the most part China adoptions and basically the same being that parents have to do a dossier – sent it to China, receive a Log in Date – wait – China matches and sends referrals MONTHLY. Once referral is received it could be a month or longer for Travel Approval. Then usually parents go to Beijing for the city tour, travel to the province of the child’s birth – travels to Guangzhou to complete the adoption. All this is taken care of by an Adoption Agency. China will not use private individuals.

Just as other people have said - the bonding takes time. The adopted child is scared and grieves the first several days and it is very hard for both parent and child. They do not understand that you have waiting - hoped - dreamed of her/him for months and in some cases a year or more. All the child knows is that sounds and smells are different and this new person does not even speak so that I understand her.

We took my aunt with us and she was a great help. She was truly changed by what she experienced thru the adoption process.

We chose to adopt non special needs and God used a person in China to chose the PERFECT child for us. Strange thing is – she even looks like us 

I would encourage your sister and you to look at different stories about what people have experienced adoption from China.  

I would suggest… www.thestoryofyou.com and www.youbelong.net

I would also suggest.. www.china-ccaa.org  and http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/...

Just my experiences and thoughts…