I'm avoding my wife?

Question

She's 13 weeks now. I stay at work late, I go to bed when I go home and then I leave right away in the morning.

I started doing this when our s*x life went out the window. I feel like there is no point of me to be home with the lack of attention I'm getting. I know this is selfish, but I just can't take it anymore!

What should I do?

Answer 1

WELL I'M NOT GOING TO BE MEAN LIKE THE OTHERS!

I THINK YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER,SIT DOWN AT A DINNER AND DISCUSS WHATS WRONG CAUSE I'M ONLY 7 WEEKS PREGO AND I NEED MY HUBBY.SO SHE MIGHT NEED YOU.DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE SHE IS SCARED TO HAVE s*x?PERSONALLY I WOULD WANT YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME THAT'S WHY YOU GET MARRIED

Answer 2

grown up and be a real man!  quit being so selfish!  she really needs your support, especially emotionally.  when women are pregnant they want nothing more than to be around their husbands.  

you need to flip your script and give her some flowers tomorrow...tell her you love her, and can't wait till the baby arrives.  snap out of it!!!

Answer 3

Stop being a cry baby because you aren't gettin any...and you do know that this can lead her to think you are seeing someone else.Think about it,she knows you are not getting any from her and now you are stayin at work late,leaving every chance you get,and going right to bed when you get hom...that is 3 major signs of cheating(whether you are or not that is probably what she will think)

You need to talk to her and tell her that you feel left out or something...tell her how you feel...the worst she can do is cut you off even longer. Not every pregnant woman feels s**y enough for s*x or feels up to the idea...she is only 13 weeks...I'm guessing she is probably still so tired and may still have morning sickness...she has aches and pains from being pregnant and you are the one crying about not gettin s*x...Don't take your sexual frustration out on her she can not help how she is feeling...

Also just remember this...you are the one that impregnated her so you should be mad at yourself if anyone!

Answer 4

Be ashamed of yourself, you big baby!  A person so needy shouldn't be having a child.  Grow up.

Answer 5

I don't have a p***s, but this is normal.  s*x makes you happy, it's a well known fact.  Maybe you avoiding her is kind of a joint behaviour thing, and she's doing it to you because you're doing it to her, you could just not even realise this is happening.  Usually it just takes one of you say or do something.  My advice: One night soon, call your wife before you go home from work, and tell her you want to have a talk and that you love her.  Talk about it and tell her you're sorry you've been avoiding her and staying at work etc., but also express the fact that you feel you're not getting attention either.  Do all this nicely, because A. She's your wife and you want to resolve things, and B. We've all heard of what pregnancy hormones can do. Tell her you love being close to her and everyday, just those subtle little loving gestures - gently rubbing her arm or her belly, standing close behind her, kissing even just on the cheek/hugging, kiss her neck .. - can make a world of difference.  Just show her you love her.  Comfort her.  You may be going through some issues with her, but she's pregnant and your wife, so it's up to you to be a man, put your issues aside and just be there for her no matter what ['In sickness and in health' ring a bell?].

If you want to get the s*x life up and running again, this is my advice on top of that: Tell her a couple days in advance that you're sending her to a spa and that she's to go to dinner with some friends after, but to get home by a certain time because you have a surprise.  Leave work early, [making sure shes still at dinner until about a half hour or so after you get home], pick up some roses.  Make the bed with the best sheets you have and pull the sheets down a bit, and scatter rose petals over the bed.   Turn off all lights, and light some scented candles [in her favourite scent].  Have her favourite type of softer music playing and some champagne by the bed.  When she gets home, tell her you love her and make sweet, sweet love to her ;)

Answer 6

You shouldd treat her like the goddess she is and MAKE her feel attractive enough to want to have s*x with you!

Answer 7

Well maybe your marriage just doesn't evolve around you ALL the time. She's pregnant, the spotlight is on her because she's a special case now. Shame on you. She needs your entire support and you only care about your own needs.

You could go out and do stuff and go places with her instead of constantly being a huge child.

If you think you can't handle this, WAIT UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN!

Answer 8

Your in the wrong! you should be happy! a woman goes through a hormone change at first and some lose there s*x drive in the early stages , but it is tempory! and right now she needs to feel your support more than ever! Sounds like you really don't care about her all that much! Put yourself in her shoes and consider what she is going through! not yourself! She is just going through a huge change and needs you and your attention right now , also keep in mind for some women it is miserable the first 3 months with the morning sickness evaryday! try and be more understanding and loving if you care about her, good luck!

Answer 9

OMG she is only 13 weeks pregnant and you are acting like this??? What is going to happen a few months from now... or worse yet, after the baby is born! I am glad you are seeing a problem with your attitude...and know that matters will only get worse if this continues. You MUST be there emotionally for your wife. Life will only get harder/more strain on your relationship once the baby comes. You need to get a handle on your emotions. First of all, be there for your wife no matter what. Your relationship should NOT just be about s*x. Find a hobby that the two of you can do together. Secondly, seek help... a parent you can talk to or another older relative who you are close to and can trust to give good advice...  you might even want to see a counselor.

Answer 10

You should try to put yourself in her shoes!!  You men have NO idea how hard pregnancy is on a woman: physically, mentally, emotionally, every which way.

I think you need to read a book or two on pregnancy and try to be more supportive.  She's growing your child inside of her body for God's sake!  In 27 weeks (or less) you will be responsible 24/7 for the care and well-being of a little person who depends on you for every single thing in life, and you REALLY don't have a right to be selfish then, so go ahead and get over it now!

Answer 11

Grow up and be a man. Your wife is pregnant, not sick with some contagious disease. Perhaps if you tried being there for her, or showing her some attention or affection, it might get returned. As is, I know I wouldn't want to sleep with some man that avoided me like the plague -- so I can't hardly fault her for it either.

Answer 12

It is very difficult been pregnant, i know because i just had a baby. Us woman go through a lot of changes in our baby, sometimes it is even hard to get out of bed, especially in the early part of pregnancy, please show her love and affection, your time will come when she will turn her attention you. there were times when i wish my husband would just hug me, because of the way i was feeling at the time, and remember it is your baby that she is carrying. She needs your love an support and your baby needs that too.

Answer 13

Try talking to her about how you feel and stop avoiding her.  Avoiding her will only make those feelings worse.  She is probably feeling more alienated than you are right now because her body is not in her control anymore and her emotions are running rampid.  If anything she probably needs you now more than ever.  Be sure and set aside one day a week that is just you and your wife's day.  You might also subconsciously be scared of having a baby and this is your way of dealing.You might also consider a shrink since they are experts on how to help on situations like this.

Answer 14

First suggestion would be to grow up.  You think you don't have any attention now..just wait until the baby is there, and all his/her needs will have to be met by you and your wife.

Answer 15

talk to your wife about your feelings. She is pregnant but it will make you both feel better if you talk about your problems.

Answer 16

You need to grow up and be a man and realize that marriage is not just about s*x. You need to be there for your wife. How do you think SHE feels. She most likely thinks you are cheating on her. Do you really think she believes that you are really "Working late"?

Answer 17

You should STOP DOING IT! You made a freakin committment when you got married! You stood infront of people and traded rings and said your vows! I get so pissed off with people/husbands like you! Just because your p***s isnt getting rubbed every night, your gonna put her by herself all the time. Here is what you should do: Go home early and tell her you want to talk about whats going on (because im sure she notices) and tell her that you want to work it out before things get worse, and before YOU HAVE A BABY IN THIS WORLD AND YOU WONT EVER BE HOME TO TAKE CARE OF IT! you need to fix things fast or your baby wont be having a father figure in his life the way it looks. Im sorry to be so rude, but i just cant take this anymore. People are PURE liers to their wives... and you only have one life to live, why s***w it up and make people unhappy. Just be nice and do what your suppose to do, and what you vowed to do!

Answer 18

Being pregnant can take it out of a woman.  And being the expectant father isn't easy either - having to deal with our ever changing emotions, and sudden lost of interest in s*x and sometimes intimacy altogether.  It sux that some women if not most during the first trimester loose complete interest in her mate - especially after getting all that baby making booty.  Her hormones are telling her she is already pregnant, so what is the point in having s*x?  Wait it out a bit longer, the next 20 weeks or so should get progressively better.

Also, once the baby arrives, she is going to be consumed with taking care of the life the two of you created, so don't expect much s*x then either, so be prepared for that too.

She may not feel s**y enough to be intimate, she could be bloated, queesy, irritable, ache - no woman whats to have s*x if she isn't feelin it.  be patient, your life is going to change dramatically, but once you hold that baby you won't care what you have to go through - my husband can vouge for that, he has survived two pregnancies in the three years we have been married!

If things don't get better, sit down and say (LOVINGLY) "Hey, I know you have loads on your plate right now, you know I love you so much and I want to show you just how much I do.  I want us to feel like a couple a bit longer before we have this baby and start our family."  Then completely work her over, make her melt!  She gets something out of it and so do you - win/win situation.