I'm being punished for sleeping with her friend?

Question

I have a friend Mary who I’ve been friends with for over 8 years. She’s married to Tom who I don’t especially like, he really freaks me out and he’s come on to me once or twice since I’ve known him. Previously I’ve slept with his brother (who is married) not something I’m proud of.

Tom has a boss at work called Gray, who is about 20 years older than me and married. One night after a few too many drinks Gray and I ended up in bed, we didn’t have s*x but we did give each other oral s*x. Again I’m really not proud of it and assumed it was to be kept quiet. Given that he’s married I assumed it was to be our dirty little secret so I didn’t tell anybody.

All was normal between Mary & I immediately after it happened. However in the past week contact has become very stilted and has almost stopped. I have a feeling Gray told Tom what happened. I’m not very good at dealing with confrontation so don’t know how to approach this. I’ve also been kind of protecting Gray cause I feel that if I say something and nobody knows it might jeopardise his marriage. I know Tom has always thought of me as nothing more than a s**t and this has probably confirmed that. What’s really killing me is that I have an inkling they’ll go back to being best buddies with Gray cause he’s a vital part of Tom’s working life and I’ll be the one left out. What can I do I’d really hate to lose my friend?

Answer 1

I can't see why Mary would be all unfriendly based on you doing her husband's boss. Why would she care about that, unless he is the one who spilled the beans, and is in trouble with his wife (likely to happen, if Mary knows about it and is friends with the boss's wife).

Sounds to me like Gary is a dip-$hit and caused his own problems.

Answer 2

Loose your friend, youre acting like a spoilt homewrecker, she could probably survive without you dear.

Answer 3

Sweetheart you've done nothing wrong here, it's he's at fault. It's obvious your friends husband can't trust himself around you - so he's trying to get his wife to distance herself from you. Obviously I don't condone sleeping around (oral s*x included) but it's he's the married one. I bet he bragged to Tom about getting a young woman in the sack and that's how your friend found out. Maybe your friend is distancing herself from you but that's her loss, if she's willing to let go of a friendship that easily maybe she was never really a friend.  

Answer 4

close your legs and stop s******g married men ...   DUH!!