I'm blaming myself for my parents faults

Question

My mother nor my father was there to raise me; So, my step-grandfather and grandmother raised me when I was a baby and my other sisters. I didn't really know my father; Until I was 17 years old and we're not on good terms right now; So, I don't speak to him much. I don't know either one of my parents on a personal level; The only reason why I know my mom is because she was in and out of my life. My mom was a straight-out crackhead and my father is an alcoholic; My mom got her life together when I graduated from high school. My mother is trying to come back in my life after all these years; My father is no part in my life at all. How do I deal with with this and move on with my life? I want to clarify that I don't hate my parents; I hate what they did to me. I also forgave them and moved on, but I'm still blaming myself for this.

Answer 1

First of all,don't blame yourself.It wasn't your fault that your parents were like they were.The best you will be able to do for your mother is respect her and try to be friends with her.Giving her a lot of your time now would probably be out of question because you have your life to live.But you should try to make a little time for her because she is your mother.

Answer 2

Why are you blaming yourself?

They were this way before you came into this world, I'm sure - so their behavior has nothing to do w/ you in that way.

You should be grateful that they had enough sense to give you to someone who can take care of you.  You should be appreciative of that, who knows how you would have turned out otherwise.

God is good.

Answer 3

Don't blame yourself for their faults, you had nothing to do with it

Now as for your mom let her in your life so you can have some closure this maybe good for both of you

Answer 4

Why blame yourself it is obvious your parents were not ready to raise a baby and be grateful you had step-parents who did otherwise you may have been left in a trash can or on the streets.  I'm not saying your mother would do that but some crazy people do that when they mess their lives up.

Answer 5

If you haven't seen a therapist you should, you need to realize that your parents choices were and still are theirs alone and that you had nothing to do with them . Think of yourself as an adopted child (which you kind of were by your step grandparents), the things that happened before you were born and during your childhood you had no control over and you can't control other people.  If you want a relationship with your mom fine, but make it on your terms at your pace. You had loving parents (your grand parents who raised you) and you owe your biological parents nothing.