I'm broke, but people at work want me to eat out.....?

Question

Ok so I make "better than average" money. And at work my supervisor and manager and our group go out to eat lunch a lot. Recently I went through a horrible break up. We spent $6,000 on a trip and planned on saving money by moving into a one bedroom together when we got back because our lease was up. 3 days after we got back he dumped me and I was forced to get my own place and all new furniture, dishes, towels, washer/dryer.... EVERYTHING. My bills doubled. Now I'm broke. The problem is that the people at my work just expect me to have money. I'm sick of saying I can't go and sometimes they hassle me or offer to pay. I don't like taking money from people. Also, we have a lot of activities. Like today we're going bowling and my supervisor just said "Hey let's go to Target and all buy shirts and we'll go out to eat first." I can't be the only one on the team without a shirt. And I have no money to eat.

How can I put it nicely without embarrassing myself? I just can't go out with them like I used to.......................

Answer 1

What is so hard about saying that "I am experiencing some financial difficulty at the moment and need to re-budget my life I really like hanging out with you guys, but until I can get back on track I will need to eliminate some activities that I use to enjoy."  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœI also appreciate your offering to pay my share, but this really makes me feel uncomfortable, I really hope as a friend and co-worker you will understand”.    

Answer 2

I would tell them that since my break up my finances have become strained. Anyone who has gone through a divorce will know what you're going through. I don't like being the one everyone has to pay for either. But maybe you should go to at least one of the events on your co-worker just so you won't seem un-company-like. Then decline the rest until you have the money to rejoin them.

If you have a good time with your co-workers then I think you should go at least once, so you can relax a little.

Answer 3

"I'm sorry, but my recent break-up and subsequent move have left me short on cash.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to refrain from going out with you guys until I can get back on my feet.  I really just don't have the extra cash."

You explain the situation, you make sure they know it is not about them, and you bow out graciously.  If you can't afford to go, don't go!!   If you don't have the money to buy the shirt, don't go bowling.  As long as you have explained why you can't go, they shouldn't have a problem with it.  

Answer 4

Talk to your supervisor privately and tell her, "I'm afraid I'm coming across as not being a team player by not going out all the time, but I'm really in a financial bind here after the breakup. I can't afford to go out all the time anymore and buy little extras like this. I wish I could." She'll understand.  

Answer 5

Privately, go to your supervisor and tell him or her that you want to be thought of as a team member, but right now, you have some big bills to pay and you have to save some $ from every paycheck until you get those debts paid off.  So, you are having to pass on invitations to lunch and extra stuff like that.  Most people respect an employee that takes seriously the matter of paying off debts on time. That's why employers make credit checks on applicants.

Answer 6

You just have to tell them you are on a strict budget right now and can't spend extra money. I know exactly how you feel. Believe me a lot of people are  in the same situation.  

Answer 7

Tell them the truth.  Times are hard right now for everybody.  There's no shame in saying you have no money and you don't feel comfortable accepting so much charity from other people.  It's the truth.  And if they pry about your finances, tell them it's none of their business, also the truth.  It sounds like y'all do waaaay to much socializing at work anyway.