I'm concerned about my girlfriend's child...?

Question

My girlfriend has an 8 year old daughter whose entire diet consists of anything sweet--she'll eat ice cream for breakfast!!! I literally have to hide any candy I have, otherwise, she'll eat it. Any sort of food, she'll sprinkle sugar on it, or lather chocolate or caramel spread on it. She personally went through an entire jar of jam in a matter of 3 days--if it were me, it usually lasts 2 weeks, at least!

I'm really concerned that not only is she going to end up with decayed teeth, but she's going to end up a diabetic and having to take insulin shots for the rest of her life! I know it's not my daughter, but should I say something to my girlfriend, or just shut up and mind my own business?

Answer 1

Definately say something to your g/f, she may appreciate it that someone is willing to help her change her daughter's eating habits. Unfortunately in today's society, saying no to a child can be one of the most difficult things for a parent, particularly when they are little.

You could also step up and start doing the meal planning which she may appreciate as well.

I wish you luck.

Answer 2

You should definitely say something, but don't push too much.

Answer 3

maybe like if her daughter goes to your house give her something that is healthy and tastes good. maybe some kind of dried mango. then she might like it and ask her mom to buy it

Answer 4

That is a real tough one for u.  I am kind of questioning as well what kind of mother would allow that for a child especially considering what we know about diabetes and the like.   Kids sneak it all the time, but I have never heard of a parent allowing such a thing.  You really need to say something and set her straight.  It's a child's well being at stake.

Answer 5

I used to eat sugar non-stop as a kid (I loved a good sugar-sandwich – and that is what it sounds like). The only problem it caused for me was bad teeth. But I also never brushed my teeth as a kid.

If you are going to mention it then word it gently and say something like "I'm worried how much sugar X eats, it may not be healthy" (only don't call her X, call her by her name – you could get dumped for using X). Avoid things like "I don't think X should eat as much sugar" because that sounds like you're making the decision. Don't push too hard.

Try having lots of fruit in your house too. Then she can eat that when she's round at yours.

Answer 6

I'm sure you are a good friend, (or you wouldn't be worrying about your friend's child) I would let her know you are concerned because you would hate to see her have any health problems due  to her eating habits.

Answer 7

Speak to your girlfriend about her childs eating habbits... Be nice about it not offensive and if change is to occur only she can be in control of her daughter not you... It will only cause problems.

Answer 8

that's definately a hard call to make.  if you don't it's on you conscience, and if you do, it could cause problems in your friendship.  

have you tried bringing the subject up to your g/f in an offhanded manner?  so that it's a light subject to talk about, instead of serious.  one question you can ask is, "is she picky with all her foods?"  "what does she like that isn't sweet?"   you can slowly move into the discussion that you have serious concerns about her health and eating habits.  definately voice your concerns about the diabetes and her teeth and the fact that she isn't getting enough nutrition from the things she is eating.  if all else fails, and i mean this as a last resort only, call your local branch of childrens welfare and tell them what you've seen.  maybe it's a lack of money to feed her well enough, or another problem that they could help with.  or it just simply may be a form of neglect.  i hate to say that, b/c it's extreme but without proper nutrition that child will not develop and function the same as other children her age.  please talk to your friend in some way, this is a serious situation.

Answer 9

I think it depends on how long you've been with your girlfriend. If it's a new relationship I would bite my tongue for now but if you've been with her for a while then it might be ok to speak up. I f you're living with her then you should do the grocery shopping next time and buy healthy food so she doesn't have access to all that junk.

Answer 10

That much sugar in a diet really isnt healthy and she'll leave herself open to all sorts of health problems in later life primarily obesity, diabetes, blood disorders, etc.  It sounds like the little girl is addicted, and your girlfriend prob gives her these things because she knows there will be a tantrum if she doesnt get it! If I were you, I would prob start by saying, There was this person I grew up with..... and make it about someone else - that way she may stop and think and wean the little girl off the sugar.  Good Luck!!!

Answer 11

Is your girlfriend a bit lazy?

No offense or anything, but really?

She should have this childs meals prepared, if a kid has to find their own food, what do you think they are going to eat?

You are right for being concerned, atleast you see how she will do your kids if you have them together.

Answer 12

You should definatley say something...Let your girlfriend know that your concerned for her health. Hopefully she will be understanding.

Answer 13

It is better to say something.There are two advantages

i) u can save a persons health

ii) u can get her support more.she will love u much mainly because of ur concern

Answer 14

say something but in a way that she knows its for the childs best interst

Answer 15

Talk to your girlfriend about it. Tell her that you are only saying something because you are concerned for her daughters health. Maybe get some nutritional snacks and keep on hand.

Answer 16

say something for god sake!! buh dnt be all controlling and stuff to yr girlfriend.

good luck:)

Answer 17

Truthfully... Im a mum so if i was her, hearing something like this from u could have sum affect on ur relationship.

Theory :-

Since the child is not yours, your girlfriend could take offense at what you say and think you are judging her parenting... this is bad.

If i was u i wouldnt say anything. it sounds really bad but i would rather not say anything and keep the relationship, than to have my patner think i am picking fault at their parenting skills and loose the relationship.

Answer 18

I am sure your girlfriend is well aware of what her daughter is doing.  However, what will happen to her daughter is that she will become obese and in turn this might lead to other health problems, not so much diabetes but heart problems too.  One way to solve the situation is not to have any of these things in the home.  Introduce fruits instead like grapes (they are sweet), apples, pineapple and things like these.  Hide the sugar and jellies.  My son has the same problem but he also enjoys vegetables and fruits so getting rid of candy and junk food around the house was not a real issue although when we do go shopping he begs for it and I flat out tell him "no".  If you like the chocolate and candy, keep it at the office or hide it in the glove compartment in your car and lock it up.  Tell your girlfriend if she even notices the changes in the diet of your home that you want a healthy family and maybe she will get the message then.

Answer 19

say something, definitely. Don't come across as unpleasant or controlling but you've got the health risks right and the health of a child has to take priority in any situation. I get the feeling you know that you're going to have to act but you know it's going to be awkward. Good luck.

Answer 20

You should say something, though your girlfriend will not be happy about it at all.

Answer 21

You should say something, but it will probably cause a row between your friend and you...

If you share the same doctor maybe you could get him/her to say something.

You could also tell your friend some (fake) story about someone you know whose child has ended up really sick because of too much sugar, colorants, etc... Maybe that'll make her think...