i'm not sure exactly what to think, because i'm so use to how my family acts. i mean, i never really pry-ed into my friends' family life, and if they did confide in me i would think family situation was normal. but my boyfriend keeps telling me how messed up my family life is, but i'm not sure if it's just something he's not use to. i know i shouldn't be asking this online, i'll be deleting it soon. but i just want to know if there is anybody out there whose family acts the same, and how they feel about it. i mean well..
is it normal that if i get 89s, a 90, but also a 79 and 75 on my report card, and my dad yells at me and says that's failure?
i never went out all that much, but my seinor year of high school i started hanging out every day, so my parents then lowered my curfew to 6pm, and other days i wasn't allowed to hang out because i "shouldn't hang out so much."
my freshmen year of college my family would yell at me telling me my life should consist of school and work, and my mom tried to have it so that i would only hang out friday's and weekends, but until 8pm on sundays. every time i'd try and talk about it they'd just start a argument saying there is no point in discussing it because their the parents and i'm the child and what they say goes. also, my grandma would call me a loser because i would hang out any time i had the chance [i stayed with her during the week to go to school and whenever i went home during the weekends i would hang out]. she would flip out on me if it would be 11pm and i would be on the phone. right or wrong i transferd anyway and am back home.
my mom is a housewife, but i had trouble finding a job, i went on several interviews but kept having no luck. but my mom would keep yelling at me calling me a bum and a disapointment.
also, i got lucky enough to have a job where the manager throws cigeret buds at you in the stock room, mocking their employees and accusing them of things they didn't do all the time. it was a pretty misrable work enviorment, but i took a semester off to work full time. i had no luck finding a job in the meantime, but one day i guess i just had enough and quit. i know it was really stupid of me, i should have waited until i had a job lined up [luckily i got one in less then a week thoguh] but was it normal of my mom and dad to flip out, and wake me up in the morning by standing by my bed shouting "you're a loser" and a "quiter" and things like that? because it was the exact oppesate of my boyfriend's family who gave me a pat on the back and said at least i didn't take it. i guess i could understand why my parents flipped, but was it normal of them to call me that 24/7 for a whole week. i forgot to pick up my paychek once and my dad flipped out and called me an a*****e.
also, my dad gets stressed at work a lot. he's been doing this for years but it use to happen once a month, than every few months. my mom says he gets stressed out a lot at work and he works very hard [he's a groundskeeper at a high school they do a lot of physical work], and anythign will set him off. he'll tell my mom he hates her, or he'll yell at me and call me a ***** and a disapointment and mock me. he did that once when i didn't mow the lawn one day because i had allergies, but i promised to do it the next day.
i don't really spend much time with them anymore. my curfew is 11pm now because it's the summer [is that reasonable? everyone else i know has either until whenever they want, or at least 12 or 1am]. but i've been comming home at 12, and so my sister beat me up because she had work the next moorning [although she comes in late too].
my dad hasn't talked to me in weeks anyway because when i came home one day from hanging out, he didn't bealive me that i washed my hands already when i got home, so he started calling me an ungratful spoiled *****, when i told him that i did and it was silly to argue over it [because he was getting mad and wouldn't leave me alone about it, starting an argument]. so i yelled at him back just, saying i don't want to be talked to that way. my dad said though he's the father and he's the provider and my mom told me i'm horrible. so he hasn't said a word to me since.
SOOO, i don't spend time with them anymore. my boyfriend thinks i'm brainwashed because sometimes i think that i bring it on myself. but now my family is mad that i don't spend time with them. my mom tells me she wishes i never met my boyfriend. One thing that i'm pretty sure is my fault i guess, is that it's my 19th bbirthday today. i had plans to go out already, because i figured my family had nothing planned. my parents haven't even mentioned my birthday. at the last minute last night my mom says i'm going with her to visit her family.her family isn't nice at all [and they never say anything when it is my birthday, they pretend it doesn't exist] and i'd rather not be stuck in the car with my sister. i feel really bad though because it's to visit her [my mom's] father who came out of the hospital. but he's always in and out of the hospital and he acts as if i'm not even his granddaughter. but i would go if it were any other day.but last time i visited them when a relative was sick, they were nasty to my sister and me. is it acceptable that i'm not going, and that i keep telling my mom that i'll visit him another day this week because i had plans? because now she's yelling at me telling me to pack my bags and that i'm horrible. i already haven't gotten anything for my birthday and she hasn;t said anything, but i might have deserved that.
i don't know, is this acceptable behavior? or am i just being ungrateful?
i'm sorry if this is too long, and if i accidently sent this out twice
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