I'm desperate for advice...?

Question

About a month ago, my family and i found out that my dad has been cheating on my mom on and off for 5 years with this lady who is my aunts bestfriend, so shes kinda considered family. I dont feel guilty or anything about the situation, but it hurts me so much because he lied and cheated my whole family, not just my mom. Now my parents are obviously getting divorced, and my mom is struggling so much because of money and stuff, and now we might have to move if my mom cant find anything smaller here, or be able to afford my house, which sucks because im gonna be a sophmore in highschool, and i wanna graduate from the school ive been attending for 8 years with my friends. So basically im not talking to my dad at all, and he'll call me and leave me voicemails all the time saying that he loves me and he wishes things were different, but everytime i talk to him all i can do is flip out on him, and whats even better is that he did all this c**p to my mom and my family, and he expects me to forgive him and all this stuff. I know he loves me, but if him and my mom were having problems, i dont get why they just didnt end it then, and save us all this hurt and stress.

I just feel like everything around me is falling apart, like everytime my life gets better, something else happens to make it worse. I mean 3 months ago my grandma passed away(my dads mother) then my dad moved out, at the same time i was stressed with school and finals, then i found out he was cheating on my mom, now my parents are getting divorced, and on top of that his side of the family doesnt seem like they care, and his sister, which is obviously my aunt treats my mom like c**p leaving her voicemails like 'i think its best we dont speak, so have a good life' and leaving me voicemails saying shes disapointed in me because i forgot my 5 year old cousins birthday and not being able to make his birthday party because for once in my life i was actually on vacation with my bestfriend and her family.

I know this is long, but im so stressed out and i've been talking to my mom and friends, cause if i held in how i felt i'd probably burst lol, but i just wanted advice on how people delt with there parents getting divorced or anyone whos been through a similar situation like me.

btw, im brand new to this, so any help would be amazing to me..

thank you[:

Answer 1

Well, that has never happened to me, but it did happen to my girlfriend. Her Mom cheated on her Dad for a long time with a guy he considered a really good friend. It was really hard on them at first and it caused alot of drama, of course. There was alot of hurt and stress and all kinds of things floating around. And it was just awful, like I'm sure you and your family is feeling. Anyway, that happend about 3 or 4 years ago, and now things are alot better. Her Mom will come over there and visit and even the guy comes over sometimes (they are still dating). We all have Thanksgiving and Christmas together, too.

I know that sounds kind of crazy, but in a weird way, I think it was for the best. I mean, all the hurting sucked, and I'm sure there would have been a less painful way of going about it, but the parents get along alot better now that they are divorced. They both had some health problems, and I guess it was because they stressed each other out so much, because after the divorce, all health issues went away with the parents. Kind of like a blessing in diguise.

I know that this is like, horrible for you to have to go through, because my girlfriend was the same way. I can't even count the times she has cried to me about it and all I could do was hold her. But now she knows that it was for the best. So hopefully, you will find that piece of mind sometime in the future. Good luck with everything, and just remember that it's always darkest before the dawn. Keep your head up, and stay strong the best you can for your Mom, because I guarantee, she is doing the same for you.

(And by the way, don't listen to the guy that said he did it because your Mom didn't "put out". That person is a moron. It is not your Mother's fault...)

Answer 2

try to coop with your dad your gonna want to have a good relationship with both your parents and remember don't choose sides what your dad did was wrong but it was probably cause your mom didn't you know putout so just talk to him and when your talking to him try to get to a different subject then the incident. i went with my dad  when they split up  and I'm have a lot of guy friends and my twin brother went with our mom and  hes kinda girly and has alot of girl friend your need both parents to even the stuff out your mom teaches you about girls and your dad teaches your about guys so if you dont want a fked up life spend equal time with them.and just forgive your dad every one makes mistakes