I'm due in 2 months and my husband is acting distant and uninterested in the baby?

Question

We just moved to a different state a year ago, and just got married a few months ago. He's been acting really depressed and saying he's overwhelmed and not ready for a baby. Yesterday he asked me if I'm really happy or if I think we rushed into things. I feel like I'm in this pregnancy alone and he's going to leave me anytime. Has anyone else gone through this?

Answer 1

he is scared. not sure how to touch you. to him the baby is not a real as it is to you ( you have carried it for7 months he hasn't carried it at all.) don't worry he will come around  

Answer 2

They say that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant and a man becomes a father when the baby is born.  He's feeling overwhelmed and scared.  I think that part is normal.  Wait until the baby is born....he will fall in love with the baby, that's a given.  Men turn into little boys when they hold their newborn in their arms.  Now whether or not you two stay together, that you'll have tow ait and see on.  But the pregnancy part, women are much more into it if the men are scared.  

Answer 3

He sounds overwhelmed... I hate to be simple, but I think he'll do better, once he can actually see and hold the baby... Men don't get that special 'pre-bonding' experience that we get. :) Is he having trouble with work? Do you have any family in town? He could be feeling financial pressure, too, although I obviously don't know your situation... Good men take that very seriously; however, they can also take it too far, to the point of feeling they're no good, and becoming depressed.

Anyway, I know of many guys who have gone through this, and they all got over it, for what it's worth... Good luck!

Answer 4

hes confused most probably thinking can he give you and the baby what you need,once hes sees his baby he will most prob come round men have hormones too and it usually takes a little longer for men to come to terms with change

Answer 5

He is probably just nervous. New expecting parents,especially fathers get nervous, New parents get nervous about wondering if they will take care of the baby right,whether or not they will hurt the baby unintentionally(babies seem fragile but are stronger than they look). It is normal to feel that way.

Trust me,I am sure your husband will come around once you precious baby arrives.

Answer 6

lots of men feel overwhelmed in the lead up to the birth they are not able to experience the baby yet and all they see is you becoming more wrapped up in this creature that is not even here and they feel life spiralling out of control offer reassurance and see if you can find a male role model who has already survived fatherhood to talk to him. If he is any good he will find his feet and rise to the occasion if not you are better of without him. you are female you will cope either way and be a great mother i am sure. all the best

Answer 7

hes just nervous I'm sure you've been nervous about the baby at times too.

my boyfriend was the same, until we had a big talk and it turned out hes was terrified of letting me and the baby down (he'll be a fantastic father)

i'd say things like "the baby kicks like crazy whenever you talk, I'm sure he knows his daddy already"

and encourage him when he does something family related, i know it sounds patronizing but i swear it works, he just needs a bit of tlc

when the babies here i bet you'll wonder what on earth you were worried about.

Answer 8

he is not ready sorry  

Answer 9

yeah this happened to me! my husband was and is the same way! they will get over it once the baby is here!  good luck but he is just scared and men are nothing like women! we have so much more that we have to go through and they think that what they have to do is bad and they hardly ever think of what we have to do. too me they are just big babies! good luck and i hope i have helped you and you husband!

Answer 10

He is unsure of himself and feels the baby will take up all your time (and it will ) make him feel reassured by spending time with him without mentioning the baby a few nights. Make him feel important too.

Answer 11

Hes just scared! Its totally normal! Once he sees his baby it will be fine!

Answer 12

he is overwhelmed and will probably warm up after the baby is born.

Answer 13

I feel what you are feeling. I think its a common thing among new mothers because its something we arent used to either. I know that with my husband he is very excited, however, he doesnt seem to realize all the changes a baby will have on us. He works a lot of hours and I dont spend much time with him. I keep expressing how upset I am that we wont have that family time. Unfortunately his career is really demanding. I can handle being alone from time to time, I have dealt with his career for over 5 years now, but I am trying to convey to him that he may be sad that he isnt getting quality time with the baby.. I just think its something men dont know how to deal with.

Dont write him off just yet, your emotions are high as well. He is most likely terrified and without the support of his friends and family he feels lost. Just stick by his side and help him through his fears. Talk as much as you can and find out what it really is that is bugging him. Maybe it would be in your best interest to consider moving back to where you were, or another alternative. Just keep that communication going, you two are in it together, if you push him out too soon you will regret it.  

Answer 14

This is normal. He will be fine when the baby is born. He is just scared of how much responsibility that a baby will be. One look at his child and will feel different.

Answer 15

This is the normal reaction for a first time father. Just give him some time and don't try and force him into anything such as talking about the baby and such. More than likely as soon as the baby arrives he will change completely. Once he holds the precious little thing. And hey, if for some reason he does split, don't stress yourself about it. You can be a good mother right by yourself.  

Answer 16

He is just nervous...he will change once the baby comes and he see himself in your child. Try not to worry...my husband was like that at the beginning of my second pregnancy...I ended doing my best to not mention anything about pregnancy or our new baby for a few weeks...finally he came around. Try to give him time. One way that I got my husband excited was that when we went to our ultrasound to find out the gender I told the us tech that I did not want to know but I wanted my husband to know. She took him out in the hall and told him. I am 32 weeks now and I still dont know but he does. I have given him a list of a bunch of small things to buy for the baby and every so often he goes shopping and buys what we will need...then he brings it home and hides it in the house so that I cant figure out the gender. This way he is more involved and in a fun way. He loves to bug me about it too though...he trys tricking me all the time now. Try getting him involved in a fun way too! Good luck! and CONGRATS!

Answer 17

I would say to try and reassure him. The thing is is that we are mothers from the time we have this life inside of us. Dad's can be a little slower coming around.  A lot of times men don't become fathers until the baby is born. My bet, is that when he holds his baby in his arms for the first time nothing is going to separate them.  And if he does leave you then know you never really needed him in the first place. It take a trifling man to turn his back on his family and you don't need that anyways. Good luck to you.