I'm engaged, 19, and happy. But other people seem to have a problem with my happiness... why?

Question

I've been engaged for months now. I'm very happy with my future husband. I believe and know that he is the one for me. There is conversation, compatability, and he's a down to earth guy like I am. But his parents, especially his mother, seems to bring us down about it sometimes, not just on our happy engagement, but about s*x, and plans. She keeps asking us if we have done anything, and of course we tell her no, because it's none of her business. Also, me and him have an account together, so, she takes it upon herself to ask about our financial status. This is also none of her business. I don't know what to do anymore, I love him more than anything. He's right up on my list next to God hisself. What do I do?!?! I feel like a basket case....

Answer 1

Because ppl change alot especially age 19-25...

And getting married will just lead to possible problems ahead..

I'mnot saying you guys will get divorced, no, you two could be the best married couple ever.

Its just the majority of people getting married young change tastes as they grow older.

  

Answer 2

No one is TRYING to have a problem with it. The smarter ones know that you dont know youself enough to start trying to get to know someone else. They may think that you are too young and honestly, if you are asking this question on yahoo answers and you cant figure it out yourself, you arent ready for marriage anyway.

Trust me. You're too young and I dont think you want to hear it even if its from people that know the answer.

-Ashton

Answer 3

Mommy is afraid to let her son go quite yet. I've seen it a lot lately. Just be nice and let her know that you're both mature and can handle life. Let her know you're not stealing her son also... she'll always be his mother, and you'll always be his wife, and they're two different roles which you each get to enjoy.

Answer 4

Just try to ignore her for now.

Enjoy your happiness.

She is jealous of you two and isn't ready to let her baby boy go.  She Will get over this.

Answer 5

You're engaged? Liar.

Answer 6

i have a similar problem. I go with this 7th grader and i am in the 9th grade and i am taller than him, but people keep making fun of me cause i go with him. I really dont care cause i like him a lot, so i just let them talk and talk and talk, and one day they will know that i dont care what they think. We are both happy, and that is all that matters. So as long as you love him that much it really doesn't matter what they think. I know it is kind of weird hearing this from a 9th grader, but i just thought that we had  the similar probem, and i could give you some advice that helped me, a lot. Hope this really helps. And good luck on your wedding and everything.

Answer 7

How come we havent heard what your parents think?

Answer 8

Sometimes in-laws disapprove of their children getting married for different reasons.  And sometimes you may think that they don't like you, but you know what?  It is not their relationship, and later on down the road it is not going to be the in-laws that make you happy, it is going to be your significant other.  My mother-in-law does not care for me too much, and I have been with her son for 4 years.  We also have a child together, and she still does not really like me.  And that is what I had to tell myself.  What happens in our relationship is none of her business unless we make it hers.  Now your mother-in-law should not be putting her two cents in unless you both are asking for it.  She is probably just having a hard time letting go.  On the other hand 19 is young, but if you know that this is the right person for you then it should not matter.  Hope I helped.

Answer 9

i think everyone is more concerned and worried about your future rather than having a major problem with it. alot of people married young and have since gotten divorced, they are worried it'll happen to you. people who love you don't want to see you go through such heartbreak. however this is your choice and i'm glad you're happy with it. as for the future mother in law, i have one that sounds just like her. and quite frankly, she is just a *****. theres not much else to it, however chances are slim of you turning her mind around, but you need to let her know that you're not going anywhere, you're here to stay and she can deal with it and make life more pleasent for everyone, or tell her that it's her problem and if she wants to be a ***** then she wont get to see any future grandchildren. but also, the next time she asks if you guys have had s*x or about your financial situation, seriously tell her the truth, but be cool about it, just lazily look at her and be like, 'yeah we're having s*x.. and?..' she what she says, she'll be speechless and probably wont ask again. goodluck and congratulations

Answer 10

welcome to the dreaded mother in law. I had to lay it out to my mother in law that we are 2 grown adults (married now) and what we do behind closed doors and in the bank is our business. If we need or want your advice or input we will ask but until then please respect our privacy. She was a very nosy woman, had health problems and she was staying with us at the time, which made it 100% worse. She eventually learned to stay out of the details and we learned to ignore any comments about our bedroom life. Now that she is moved back into her own apartment life is normal.

Answer 11

She probably doesn't trust you guys because of ur age. I think that you should do what feels right. It seems like you are truly in love and true love is never a bad thing. You are old enough to make a mature decision. If you know he's the one and you want to marry him-then go for it!

Please answer my question!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 12

You seem young to have found that sort of happiness but how bout a big h**l YEAH!!! It took me until I was 26 to find my one and only. Congrats and F all the haters. Most people dont understand and will never be able to experience that sort of happiness. My mother in law is sorta crazy too, but you have to remember that your adults and ultimately its none of her business.  

Answer 13

well parents dont want their kids getting married at a young age because they think u arent ready for it or that u dnt know what love is... u know??? that is why... but dont listen to them... i mean.. if u truely know he is the one and everything... go for it.. dont let NO ONE get in the way... u just got to prove everyone that THEY were wrong... GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 14

You are taking her son away from her. (In the sense that your soon to be husband will be a man starting a family and not her little boy anymore)

I am a mother of 2 boys and then a step son...and I don't even want to think of the day of their first real girlfriend...let alone their wife to be. It's hard to let go of your kids. Try to understand where she is coming from. Sit down with her and let her know that you are not trying to take her son away from her...then let her know that you appreciate her for making such a great man for you to find happiness with. Maybe when you sees that you truely love him through your kind words to her she will back off.

But if she consists to do it....then set your boundries firm and don't back down on them.  

Answer 15

Just go about your business and move on it is ok they are concerned and when you are married they wil shut up if they dont' you can just ignore it they are parents and that isok. sometimes being 19 they think its too young not sure how old their son is but good luck

Answer 16

Tell her (his mother) what you feel. Tell her to back off because you feel uncomfortable.

Tell to your future husband maybe He could help you too.

Make them to understand what you feel.

Ignoring the problem will cause it BIG.

Stay cool..

That's really a start to be married couple.

Answer 17

Parents will be parents and you will understand one day when you are a parent.  You just can't stop caring about your kids and trying to make sure they are taken care of.  While her methods are probably not the best, her heart is truly trying to look out for your best interest.  Try to cut her some slack.

Answer 18

Sit down with his mom and discuss your differences. Remember that she has a lot more life experience than you do and she knows that marriage can be a very difficult time. Also take into consideration that most marriages in the US have a 50% chance of ending in divorce and the biggest reason for the divorce deal with financial issues between husband and wife. She's probably worried about her son and wants to make sure that he doesn't go down a bad path. After all, she was the very FIRST woman in his life.

Answer 19

When his mother asks personal questions, simply ask her why she wants to know.  Why does she want to know about your s*x life, why does she want to know about your financial status?  You are right, these things are none of her business and you don't have to talk about them.

We encounter nosey people throughout our lives and the best way to handle somebody like that is to just ask them WHY they want to know. People like this think they are somehow entitled to the answers and a cold blank stare usually works just as well.

Good luck.

Answer 20

well the reason why people are not happy is because you guys are young. the thing is though your future mother-in-law will always be unhappy simply thus the fact you are taking her son away. its not true (that you are taking him away) but all mother-in-laws usually find a reason to bother you and your fiance until she realizes that you and her son will not break it off and you both love each other. just wait a little while.

-peace-

Answer 21

she  jus probly feels the way i do with the divorce rate being so high nowadays she is jus concerned about yall future happiness your 19  so young  im only 20 and i felt like i had the right one for me we were gonna get married but things and people change marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper i personally think you should wait it out but u know what u feel  if u do get married i hope it works for you but waiting for a lil bit might not hurt the situation any

Answer 22

I don't mean to mock another answer, but I seriously doubt she's jealous.  I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that for today's society, 19 is a very young age to be engaged.  But if you're happy, you shouldn't let her bring you down.  Follow through with your current plans, and if she takes issue, try to calmly explain to her that this is what's best for both you and your fiancee and that she doesn't need to worry.  If she continues to butt in, I would consider moving far away after you get married.  a little space is a good way to relieve some of the tension between in-laws.

Answer 23

How do your parents and friends feel about your relationship?  I know you don't want to hear it but no matter how smart and worldly you think you are at 19... by the time you hit 30 you will realize how little you really knew. If lots of people have concerns please talk to them about their concerns.  Really even if it's only his Mom... talk to YOUR Mom about it... mother-in-laws can be such a pain even when they start out nice... I can't imagine what a nightmare she'll become if she's already against it.

So you ask why other people have a problem with your happiness... my guess is either jealousy or they see issues that you are overlooking and they are worried about you.  

Good luck!  

Answer 24

I don't think they have a problem with your happiness, it's probably that they worry about you getting married so young. And to be honest, I would have to agree with that. People change so much from the time they are 19 to, say, 30. If you really think you are ready to spend the rest of your life with one person, then go for it and don't worry about what other people think. But make sure you know what you're getting into.

Answer 25

well mothers have a hard time letting their children grow up so maybe shes just looking out for his well being but dont worry about it sooner or later shell have to face the facts that her sons is not a little boy anymore and will be glad that you two have married if your happy and hes happy then dont let it bring you down stay happy and just wait for your big day  

Answer 26

You, my dear, are in the same boat I am- or at least close enough.

I'm 18 and am unofficially engaged- no ring yet due to financial lackings, but my BF is already signing cards to my mother as "your future son-in-law" and things of that nature.  So he's very open with how close we are and our intentions for the future.

Anyways, it's *MY* mother who's being the nuisance about the whole thing.  She found out we've been having s*x and about had a caniption... refuses to help me financially with anything dealing with my life with my BF and all.  (I'm still under her roof and have no job, and I know I should be responsible and all- but I think you understand me.)  She's gotten into my bank account and questions me about every transaction I make, why, when, where, etcetcetc. It's a royal pain in my butt.

And what bothers me most is that she constantly whines about my BF's and my PDA.  So what if we kiss in pubic.... hug or hold hands?  Anyone who finds it wierd is just jealous- or so we believe.  I see nothing wrong with showing how much we care for each other!

All I can say honey is that you just gotta grin and bare it for now, unfortunately :\

Answer 27

this means shes just jealous of you. try not to get involved with her.

Answer 28

His mother thinks he is too young to be married.  Extend your engagement....If you think you are having problems with her now, just wait until you are married and have children.  She sound dominant!  Unless he is ready to stand up to his mother and the her to mind her own business, you my dear have a problem!

Answer 29

Your fiance will have to stand up to her and put her in her place.  If he continues in a childish role, your life with mother in law will be miserable.  It is up to him to set the tone of the family relationship.  Don't marry until he does so.

Answer 30

She is not ready for her son to grow up and move on. Yall need to sit down with her and explain to her how you feel in a nice manner. Its a parent thing, her baby is growing up.

Answer 31

Crazy in laws.  

They're probably just concerned, but I don't see why they have to know your s*x life.