I'm falling in love with a married woman...?

Question

I met her in the worst period of my life... My mother had just died from cancer and I had just found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me for the past year... Lots of fun...

She was wonderful in every way with me. I later found out she was engaged so I decided to stay away... But even though I tried to avoid her we did end up alone one day and you can imagine what happened... We continued to get together very often always carefully and even after she got married we still saw each other quite a bit. Then things started to change... A lot of feelings got involved and things got difficult... So I asked her one day if she wanted to go to the next level with me because she had clearly told me that she wanted to divorce her husband. She told me that she needs time because she doesn't want to hurt him... I was understanding in the begging but as time passed I felt like I was waiting fro something that would never happen. We haven't seen each other for more than a month now but she calls from time to time and that really messes with my head, I miss her like crazy and hardly ever stop thinking about her and my feelings for her are very strong. She continues to express how much she wants to be with me but never dose anything about it. I know I have to turn away but she has become very special to me and I can't seem to forget her. I feel hurt, used and very foolish... Is she just lying so she can keep us both? Is she really that trapped inside her marriage? She has no children and dose not depend on her husband for money either so what is keeping her there... I am very confused with her behavior... I feel trapped...

Answer 1

You're cheating and you're wrong for doing so. Do you expect people to sympathise with you? Please move on and find someone else before everyone involved gets hurt.  

Answer 2

As easy as this is to say, and as difficult as it is to do, for your own sanity and longterm happiness, you have to let her go. She wants her cake(you), and eat it too(husband and marriage). She will string you along and use you as long as you allow her to. She will never leave her husband...you deserve better. Move on in your life, and find a single woman that loves you. Good Luck!

Answer 3

No, you are not trapped. You can get yourself out of this situation.

I don't think you're so confused anymore either; I do feel that you are beginning to realise now that there is a serious imbalance in your relationship, and very real concerns about the strength of her feelings compared to the intensity of your feelings. I can certainly understand how you came to feel such a bond for this woman, because she was your comfort at the worst, most painful  period of your life.

However, she is the source of your pain now.  And she is not worth it.

I'm so sorry, but yes she is stringing you along. Words are cheap, and hers do not correspond with her actions. She has used and hurt you so much, allowing (and even encouraging) you to fall in love with her in the period leading up to, and even during, her marriage. She knows the impact her calls have on you. She knows how vulnerable you are to her words and empty promises.

You really need to be strong now. This woman is not free to be yours, and frankly, she never was. She doesn't have much of a moral code to have married her husband with no intention of ceasing the affair she had embarked upon with you. Her vows to him were empty, just as her promises to you are. She is a deceitful cheater, and her word cannot be trusted. She doesn't even have a plausible excuse for stalling on any divorce, there are no kids and no financial dependence, so you really must not believe that she is "trapped inside her marriage" ... she is there by choice, and she'd very much like to keep her husband and have you on the side too. Don't be that man. You don't deserve the eternal disappointment and heartache that will bring.

I think logically you know that there is no bright future to be had from this relationship. I hope you can find the strength to leave this married woman well alone. I know you miss her when you don't see her, but those feelings will fade ... not while you're feeding them though. You must stop contacting her or receiving calls from her. You need to make every effort to expand your circle of friends and experiences too, so that this one woman doesn't mean so much to you. She isn't worth your energy - you have given your heart to her, and she doesn't value it, nor is she free to receive it. She is married. She made that choice, even after she embarked upon an affair with you. You must respect that and move on in your own life. She has. I know she'd like you to believe otherwise, so that she could keep you waiting in the wings forever. Don't do that - you deserve so much better.  

Answer 4

Obviously, she is not returning the feelings that you have for her.  why would you want a woman that would carry on an emotional affair with someone else when she is married.  How would you feel if she did that to you?  Don't you realize that what he did was a statement of character?  Find you a decent woman that respects the sanctity of marriage, one that you would not have to worry about cheating on you.  I think you are just falling too quickly for women that are not of good character.  Take your time to get to know a woman before you let yourself start having loving feelings toward her.

Answer 5

Ok here thing this she married its a sin so stop messing with her I see that you care for her alot but if she loves u and really wants a divorce she would file and leave her husband no questions ask do urself a favor tell her listen Im not a fool if u really wanted me you would of been left your husband and file it donest take that long to let sum1 bye have a nice life so tell her until u makes up her mind what she wants to do ur going to do u cause she's still sleeping with her husband everynite so yea  

Answer 6

do you love her? do you really lover ? or do you think you falling in love with her ? - by what i read you in love with her okay nothing wrong hey it takes two to tango and she is just as guilty as you are - know if i am correct which i think i am - this is what you need to do - stopp feeling bad you not the only one at fault okay , give her time no contact and let her be if you love her as much as i think you do you need to be able to set her free and let be - she needs to sort her life out and allow her the opportunity to do so - come on we only live once - and i am sure once she has a her priority sorted out she will be with you - she cant at the moment its togh you know can you imagine for only a second what she is giong thru - so lets say she does love you so much that it hurts to be without you okay know she has to go to bed at nite and next to her is not you ? that hurts and the fact that you making her aware of you and you cannot be with out her - this is not fair on both sides let her be - but tell her your intensions and that you will wait for her but not for long you need to live your life aswell and let be if she does not come to you - tough hey - good luck hope this helps