I'm feeling overwhelmed. How do you do it?! (Especially working/single parents w/ babies)?

Question

My husband is leaving Monday to go out-of-town for 2 weeks for training. He hasn't even left yet (and it's only for 2 weeks!) and I already feel overwhelmed.

He is the best father and husband in the world (at least I think so, lol) and I've gotten accustomed to him being there and helping out. We have a 5 1/2 month old and a 3 1/2 year old, I work full time, and pump exclusively w/ no option of nursing (that's one thing I'm worried about b/c it's so time consuming). Add the feeding baby, cooking, meal time, play time, baths, story time, paying bills, washing bottles, taking care of pets, cleaning house, and trying to squeeze in a shower for myself (I know I'm forgetting a ton of things too)…. AHHH!

I've gone through something similar before b/c my husband was in the army and was deployed for a year when our oldest was a baby. It was hard but I got used to it. Things have been so different and hectic every since our 2nd child was born. I feel as though there are never enough hours in the day. And, once again, I've become accustomed to his help. I've considered spending a lot of time at my parents house (20 minutes away) but can't spend too much time there b/c we have so many pets at home.

Does anyone have any tips to make the next couple of weeks easier? I plan on preparing simple meals and having everything ready the night before (the mornings are usually the most hectic). What else can I do?

Answer 1

I dont think you should feel so overwhelmed, just be thankful for what you have, things could be alot worse. Everyone is healthy and it looks like you have a good husband so just think of the positive stuff.

Answer 2

nap when they nap. cook 2 or 3 meals at a time while they are busy or sleep. have the oven and range going at the same time. that frees up alot of time later on. stay on the go....shopping, new toys, the park, play dates, visit family(pets are not the focus right now, they'll live!), any thing thats keeps them busy and tires them out. when you get home they are ready for bed and easier to deal with. and make the bigger one mommies little helper. the little bit they can do helps. the 3 yr old can occupy the baby while you check a thing or two off your list.

i have learned not to try to do too much while im home alone with the kids. focus on them. while they are sleep or busy i get things in and when they go down for the night i spend a few hours taking care of things and then winding myself down. it usually ends up being easier than i worked my self up to think it would be. i wont tell my husband that though!  LOL

Answer 3

I only have one child, but I feel your pain.  My husband travels frequently, I drive an hour each way for work.  It gets hectic.  The one thing I've learned  for the past few years is to only do what you absolutely must when you're on your own.  I prepare/freeze simple meals in advance.  Since it's just me & my daughter, we don't really eat too much.  I keep plenty of fresh fruits & veggies on hand, we tend to fill up on that stuff and then I just cut up chicken breast (Tyson makes the fully cooked b*****s, I keep a bag of those in the freezer & just microwave them).  I also make things like tuna noodle casserole & spaghetti - both dishes are great reheated the next day.  

I write out the bills in advance & just mark on the envelope when to mail it.

I only do what housework/laundry is absolutely necessary during this time.  I'm guessing your house is like mine.... even when you have the time to do these things regularly, it still never seems to end!

I also wake up a half hour earlier than usual when he's gone.  That little bit of time makes a big difference.

My husband just left yesterday for another trip.  After dealing with so many of these trips, I've gotten used to it & have fallen into pattern.  You'll handle things, I'm sure of it!  Moms are great under pressure!

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Paying Bills:  I've save a huge chunk of time paying bills electronically automatically from our checking account.  The payment is automatically deducted from our checking account on a certain day each month.  I do this for all of our bills, except our sitters.  This way you don't have to allocate time to sit and write out checks, or sit on the internet and pay them.  It will be time consuming to begin it at first, but believe me the payout is huge!

Washing Bottles:  If you can throw them in the dishwasher (if you have one), you'll save some time there too.  They will get clean enough. If you have to do a light load, so be it.  I hated washing bottles, and I used those little basket things you stick in your dishwasher for the caps and nipples, and load the bottles in.  If you only need one bottle right away, just wash one bottle.  It's all about saving time.

Cooking:  You got the right idea about simple meals.  If you have a crockpot, use it.  You can also prepare a casserole the night before (if you can stay awake for it!) and put it in the fridge.  Pop it in the oven when you get home from work.

Cleaning:  If you haven't already, relax about the house.  I used to keep my house spotless until the 2nd came along.  I had to learn to not care as much and I've gotten used to it.  Shove the toys in a corner if you're too tired to put them all away.  Pile the clean clothes from the dryer in the basket and put it in the closet for a day or two.  Put them away once the kids are asleep.  Do laundry loads after the kids go to bed.  In the morning put it in the dryer and throw a dirty pile in the washer. When you come home don't forget about it.

All in all, don't sweat it.  It's only 2 weeks, you'll make it.  Enjoy this time with your kids by yourself.

Answer 5

first of all, it doesn't all have to be done.  it's ok if the floor doesn't get vacuumed.  it's ok if the dishes don't get washed as soon as they're dirtied.  you can only do one thing at a time.  prioritize and what doesn't get done, you can catch up on when he comes home.  my husband deployed 3 weeks after our 4th child was born.  and our oldest was 5 so i know it can be very frustrating.  and if anyone offers any help, don't feel too proud to take it.  it doesn't mean you aren't doing a good enough job, it just means they want to help you out.  and above all, breathe.  it's only a few weeks.  good luck.

Answer 6

Pray, take deep breaths, and remember that what you are doing will better your children for the rest of their lives. And you know, when things get hectic (and they will) don't be afraid to have a good cry. I find that when I get really frustrated, tired or all those other wonderful emotions that us women have, I will make sure that my kids are in a good safe place, go into the bathroom and just let myself cry. I come out refreshed, relieved and ready to battle the rest of the day. Don't know if that's just me, but whatever! lol

But all you can do is take it one minute at a time. Enjoy the one-on-one time that you will get with your children, and just keep telling yourself that it is only two weeks. See if you can get your 3 1/2 year old to help you out to the best of his/her ability. It would be a good chance to teach them some things.

Anyways, good luck!! You will be fine!

Answer 7

Forget the house work.....do as little as you really need to. Cooking.........a 3 1/2 year old would probably enjoy a grilled cheese sandwich or some pasta..... lots of things are pretty simple to prepare. They do not need rack of lamb! lol  Maybe your parents can come to you for a few days........is that possible?

You will manage just fine.......somehow we always do.

Answer 8

I'm a teen Mom and I went back to school a month after my son was born. Between getting up early with him, going to school, washing bottles, homework, laundry, showers, etc I didn't have any extra time. The easiest thing for me was to make a schedule. Yes, it was constantly interrupted with a newborn in the house but it helped me get organized.

I will be going back to school in 2 weeks and I plan on making a schedule again to help me out. I'll be going to school full time until January and also picking up an online class at home so I can graduate earlier. It'll be hectic!

Sorry I couldn't offer any more help! Hope this helps!

Good luck!

Answer 9

Honestly?   You need to just relax and take things as they come.  And that's coming from someone who stresses if I can't plan EVERY detail of everything.  My life right now drives me insane because there's no typical routine.  (Especially with me moving, lol)

Anyways, take it day by day.  If you have time to prepare things in the evenings, then go for it (3 days out of 5 I find that I don't have the time at night, lol).  The nights (usually every other night) I try to clean, I pick up something for me to eat on the way home and usually give Johnny something quick and easy (Gerber toddler meal or something).  The nights I want to cook, I don't clean.  There's just not enough time in the day for all of that.  

Oh, Johnny gets baths the night I cook, they fit in better those nights.

My mom and stepdad have helped me out tremendously.  I would have had a nervous breakdown by now if they weren't helping as much as they currently are.

Ask your parents to come visit you one night.  See if they would want to watch the kids on a day over the weekend and go home and clean while they are there.  

It can be done, I promise.  If I can do it, anyone can.  LOL

Answer 10

Invite your [arents to your house. Offer to cook dinner for them, or order pizza if you want. That is what I do. I get my family to hang out at my place when my husband is gone and we have dinner so they do not have to leave to eat.LOL

Answer 11

try to have meals you can make before he goes out of town... or those skillett dinners are really good.  see if there is anything he can take care of before he goes(like paying the bills) he could even do that while he is gone.  see if one of your parents could come over like 2 or 3 times a week to hang out for a little while during the evenings.

Answer 12

Preparation is a good start. If you can, ask for help (I hate to ask for help myself, so I know it can be hard, but it's just for two weeks!). Could a friend (or parent) that stop by in the morning or around dinner time, just to let you shower or get things under control? Or maybe you could let your dogs stay with someone for the next couple of weeks?

You will get everything done and get through the two weeks. It may not be perfect, but that's OK! Good luck :)

Answer 13

Nina, here is what I recommend you do during the next 2 1/2 weeks;

-Have one or both of your parents come to YOUR house.  It's much easier than you taking two young kids who require a "schedule", along with their "stuff" to your parents' house. Can your parents come over a couple times a week for a very short time?

-Hire someone to clean your house, just once or twice while your husband is gone.

-Pre-cook some meals, i.e. casseroles this weekend and freeze them, and as you mentioned, make very "easy" meals.  Since your husband is gone, the complexity of the meals can certainly go down since your audience is now a 3 year old.

-I like the "schedule" idea that the other Yahoo'er mentioned.  Even though you may not stick to it totally, it brings order and peace of mind to have something on paper.

-Finally, make sure you get at least 7 hours of sleep.  Getting enough sleep will be critical to you being able to handle the additional responsibilities with grace and patience, as those things also impact the cooperation level of your 3 1/2 year old. ;)

You can do it!!