I'm getting divorced. Is there anything I can put in the petition to have compromising pics & tapes destroyed?

Question

So early on in our marital relationship, my soon-to-be ex took some shots of us where clothing was not a factor if you know what I mean. He also used to videotape us having s*x. Later I found out that he did it almost every time and not the few times I thought he did. Later as things got bad, he taped our fights where I was saying bad things about his mother (for the purpose of sending the recording to his parents and siblings so they would put up a collection for a divorce...which he spent on booze). Now we're separated after I kicked him out & he never wants to divorce b/c his credit is gawd-awful and he's threatened me w/ these tapes if I got a lawyer. So of course I did. But I don't have a lot of money and he is kind of crazy and I don't think he'll hurt me, but he has made it clear that he has no problem sending these tapes out to my employers and colleagues to embarrass me. I don't think a restraining order is necessary at all, but I do want the security of knowing that he can't send those shots and tapes out. Is there any way that a divorce decree can mandate that they be destroyed or something like that?

Other than that issue, it shouldn't be a big ordeal - an early marriage to the wrongest guy on earth who only wanted to use me and cheated on me the whole time. We don't have joint property or kids and he has nothing I want and vice versa (except my credit line, but that's too bad), but this issue has me concerned.

Answer 1

have your husband send me the s*x tapes and ill preview  them to see if your as wild as you sound honey!

Answer 2

Not sure what state you're in, but in Ohio a restraining order is entered as soon as the case is filed.  

http://www.cornwell-law.com

Answer 3

You said, "I don't think a restraining order is necessary at all, but I do want the security of knowing that he can't send those shots and tapes out. Is there any way that a divorce decree can mandate that they be destroyed or something like that?"

Well, will that make it so? !!  probably not...

You need a permanent restraining order. To restrain his threat of defamation of character

Get a subpoena for the media so you can see ALL he has...(pictures audio and video) You will have to make a contract for use.  

Answer 4

sure you can, and it will draw out the process further and cost everyone more money & the pictures & tapes & recordings will be brought out & all parties to the divorce get to hear & see it & you may or may not get what you requested. sounds good? no? so just let it go...he's just trying to hold something over your head so you'll always be thinking of him, even if it's just a negative way. he's sick.

if it really bugs you, i would tell people first before they can tell them...trust me, nobody is perfect and anyone with a soul will be more than sympathetic...over half of the population is or has been divorced and you aren't the first to have an ex who makes dumb threats, so you would be so surprised how many people know exactly what you're going through.

i personally wouldn't mention it to anyone because you may be bringing up something they don't know and won't know about & it's none of their business (unless you're talking with the girls about "oh my ex was such a dog..." convos, and not like your boss or something) and also it's like you are giving validity to his claims & that would please him so much & make him feel like he is in charge of you like he always obviously wanted. believe me, he is only doing this to embarrass and vainly attempt to discredit you and i'm sorry but nobody can humiliate you without your permission, like elenor roosevelt said.

so you took stupid pictures and you're on film having s*x. well you and every celebrity out there has something in common now. big deal.  and i hate to break it to you but everyone has s*x, even your employers and colleagues. nobody is going to fire you for a s*x tape unless you work for the pope or something.

so your ex taped you fighting and talking smack? oh, poor baby got his feewings hurt & he needed "pwoof". lame. that's just immature on his part and nobody i know would actually play something like that if it was sent to them. he's just trying to scare you. i've heard of women doing this, but not men. your ex must be a real pu$$y.

or if you're ever confronted with it, just pull an r kelly and claim it wasn't you. hey, people do crazy thing with voice modifiers and photoshop and digital enhancers so maybe it isn't you, hahahaha.

just forget about it and divorce the jerk. he sounds worthless in the first place. a lying cheating user? ugh. no thanks. thank god you finally woke up and thank god you don't have kids with the loser.

lastly, cut it off with your ex fully. don't call him or email or write him & don't accept his emails or calls, either. privatize as much as you can. go back to your maiden name. move to a new house or apartment where he can't find you. get a new job and do not tell him about it. change your email. change your phone number. get off the grid, so to speak. if he needs to reach you, he can contact your lawyer!

soon he'll move onto another lady to exploit & intimidate & he'll be so busy picking on her that he won't have time to think of blackmailing you.

besides, i've always believed that if someone is saying nasty things about you, it is always best to live your life in such a way that nobody would ever believe it!

congrats on getting rid of human garbage!