I'm giving this poem as a gift so I defs need criticism before! please help?

Question

One day I learnt that it's possible

to hurt yourself through another;

that seeing you suffer because of me

could cause pain like no other.

But that's not why I'm sorry

for my atrocious deed

I just hate having lost your trust-

the very thing I need.

So how to make it upto you--

the flawless heart I shattered?

If I gave you the moon and all the stars

would you think I mattered?

What if I poured the ocean blue

in a bottle as a gift

just for my beloved--

would it mend this painful rift?

a pet dolphin or a tiger

or if I buy you the whole zoo?

or gave my heart on a platter

(you know I'd die for you.)

alas you still seem far away

and its really scaring me

but I hope--I know

you'll love me back

just you wait and see.

Answer 1

it's very strong and its obvious the mood is more than forgiving. i love it! i'd forgive you in a minute haha

Answer 2

its great! =]

Answer 3

wow thats so sweet! if i were that person id forgive you!

Answer 4

that poem is amazing

i cried while i read it

its very beautiful

Answer 5

this is lovely.

if you wrote this your an ah-mazing writer.

i would feel honored and flattered if i was given this poem.

the emotion seems true and believe-able.

lovely.

nothing harsh or bad to say.

mad props yo ;]

Answer 6

really REALLY good. i got goosebumps. =)

Answer 7

ok im not gona lie. when i saw this question i planned on writting a jerk letter about how no one cares about ur stupid poem and that if u needed attention u should go adopt a mommy but seriously, this is GOOD

Answer 8

That was really deep. You got poem writing skills!

Answer 9

this is amazing! it was like your words put your feelings into me. i completely felt the begging for forgiveness.. this is great work, keep it up. it will take you places.

Answer 10

Very good!

Answer 11

Everyone is a hidden poet deep down, we all feel and we all have the ability to write to express ourselves in written form. This is a good poem, but i must say i prefered Jessicas (girl who posted right before you)

Answer 12

I think it's great!

Answer 13

love it.

Answer 14

very powerful, and moving..... .

check out my other poems....

Answer 15

Its awesome! i love it.

Answer 16

wooooooooowwwwwwww this is bomb. i love it

Answer 17

excellent work, really made the reader feel your pain Keep it up

Answer 18

did you cheat on someone?

yeah that is good though

Answer 19

it actually a good poem, i really like it

Answer 20

Can you see a tear in my eye.......

That was very feeling and straight from the heart.......l am sure all will be forgiven........

Answer 21

It's very lovely.  If someone gave that to me I'd be very touched.

Answer 22

Superb

Answer 23

its great, id forgive u lol

Answer 24

Other than the fact that there's no such word as "learnt" (it's 'learned'), I think it's a really good poem.