I'm going off to uni. How can I make friends faster?

Question

I'm going to Case Western Reserve University in a day, and I don't know a soul west of the Allegheny. Any suggestion is welcome.

Answer 1

In Weird Science, they just made a robot to be their friend.  I think they made it to have s*x with, but later decided not to.  What a world.

Otherwise, you can just throw parties.  Have snacks and goodies.  A lava lamp.  Themed parties.  Wild West night.  Frisky Domestic Servant night.  etc.  

Or you could just threaten them with noogies, swirlies, wedgies, and take their milk money 'til they submit to your will.  

Answer 2

Pick friends randomly on facebook...Arrange to meet them once you're there.

Well, i'm pretty sure you'll be living in the dorms your first year. It's easy to make friends with the people on your floor.