I'm going to be a maid of honor but so many questions!!?

Question

My best friend is getting married, and she asked me to be her maid of honor! The problem is location... I'm in nyc now, she's in school in missouri, and her wedding's going to be in colorado for the fam... I know I should be helping her with stuff - especially with bridal shower and bacherolette party but I'm not sure how to arrange both when I am so far away.. I'm thinking of vegas for the bachelorette party but just not sure what to do about her bridal shower... especially since all her guests will be flying in for the wedding & it will cost guests a lot in general... Any ideas/suggestions?? Help!!

Answer 1

Thats a difficult one...Maybe you can call her mother & ask her what she thinks as far as the bridal shower is concerned...Bacherolette party in Vegas sounds like a blast!  Mom might know where relatives & friends will be flying from and when the best time to plan the shower will be...good luck that is a hard one :)

Answer 2

I'm thinking that because you are so far away, the bride is not expecting you to throw a bridal shower or a bachelorette party.  She'll probably go out with her college friends a few weeks before the wedding.  If you're able to arrive in Colorado a few days before the wedding, you can maybe take her out to dinner and drinks.  As for the bridal shower, she may have family members (aunts, cousins) who are planning one for her.

Answer 3

bridal shower- talk to her mom and see if they can throw one for her since you are so far away.  Tehre is no way to afford the parties, the dress and the travel for everything and im sure they will all understand.  



bacherolette party - do it all through email.  Get a list of her friends she wants involved.  Start emailing now for budgets and what everything thinks.  Do it the weekend before the wedding (never night before, you need recovery time).  Vegas can be great but it will be costly.  You can do at home (wherever that is) wioth a limo, pole dancing class, a spa visit, and bar hopping

Answer 4

You don’t have to plan a shower. That could well (as they usually are in my family) be taken care of by her aunts.  Plenty of people have more than one shower so if you do host one, it doesn't have to include every single person she knows.

I know that the wedding-crazed culture has created a long list of what someone in your role is supposed to do, but why not just ask the bride what she expects of you? That will give you a clear picture and help ease your concerns.

Answer 5

You should talk to your bride now about her expectations - what she needs from you, what you are reasonably able to do. If you are good friends, this should be no problem.

For the shower, you might want to see if her mother or another relative in her hometown is currently planning one. She may also have a local friend planning her shower in Missouri. No need to duplicate efforts. If her mother is willing to plan her hometown shower, call her up and let her know that you can't attend, but that you would be happy to help with anything over the phone or online - invitations or evites, etc. Out-of-town wedding guests are never expected to come in for the shower - like you said, it just costs too much.

For the bachelorette party, enlist the help of the other bridesmaids. Figure out your budget. I'm MOH for a friend who lives 600 miles away. The entire bridal party is scattered from east to west coast. Instead of throwing a huge bash in our hometown, the bride and bridesmaids met for a weekend in Chicago. We had a blast.

We weren't able to make it to her shower (thrown by her mom), but she knew that ahead of time and had no problem with it. She's been really grateful for the time, money, and effort that we're putting into coming into town for her wedding.