I'm going to do a poetry slam, this is the poem I've decided on.?

Question

What do you think? I think I can make it work, but is it even good enough? I just wrote it this week, and its short, so easy to memorize for my first time. What is your suggestion?

In a Garden Among the Dead

Our love was a fallacy

Burried lies and

Burried lives

In a garden among the dead

The false flowers are stark

Against your granite grave

The freshly carved words

Mark your life and death

In a garden among the dead

Our unreal love rings true

The bell tolls as a wedding is through

And the widow stands alone

Answer 1

Wow.

Without a doubt the best poem I've read on Yahoo! Answers for a long time.

I admire your ability to portray such sadness in words, I loved your use of emotive language and powerul adjectives.

I dont think you should change anything. But, Practise saying it exactly how you want to, because you will speed up when under pressure.

Great Job, perhaps you should think of getting it published.

Answer 2

Enigmatic, and I love that.  I sense that the grave is as much for the death of a great love as for that of a lover. The dichotomy of the wedding bells and the widow is powerful, and speaks to the same multi faceted meaning of the poem. I appreciate the heartfelt imagery.  Thank you.

Answer 3

That is an amazing poem! It's so passionate and the words paint a picture in your mind - just the way a real poem should. I think it's wonderful and it will certainly pack a punch at the poetry slam. Good luck.