I'm going to have to face this battle. I need help!?

Question

I'm homeschooling my children for a number of reasons. My oldest is 4 and we started homeschooling in may. Today was my sons' birthday party and everyone kept asking me where my daughter was going to school next year and I kept saying that I'm homeschooling her and I avoided the next few questions because it's really no one's business what I do. Well towards the end of the party it got around to my grandma and she asked me if I was crazy and I said no. She said that my daughter "Has to go to school!" and I said that she's 4 she can't start school yet anyway. My grandma said that she can go to Pre-K and I said no, she can't unless we pay for it because we're not low income and my daughter doesn't speak Spanish (law in texas). So now, I know that my mom is going to confront me about this. What do I tell my mom? I'm not sending my kids to school, I'm not going to change my mind. I don't think I should have to justify my decision.

Answer 1

Well, great, you're already an independent person, a mom who does what she thinks is best for her kids. Now you will have to pay for it: people will always question you for being different. This is a good opportunity for you to model respectful disagreement for your children.

I'm considering homeschooling, too, and I see there's a forum on here for it. You should check it out. Good luck.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, when you choose to home school or anything else that falls away from the 'norm', you need to be prepared to answer questions.

Check out homeshool.org.  They will have support information for you and perhaps help you to answer their questions.

Good luck and make sure you hook up with other home school families in your area.  You'll get their support even if you don't have our family's.

Answer 3

Perhaps you need to have mom and grandma over, show them your curriculum, your plans, etc.  Tell them your reasons for homeschooling (bullies, bad behavior, bad influences, crappy schoools, religious reasons, etc).  It may have been a good idea to discuss this with them before they heard thru the grapevine, but now you have to face the battle, as you say.  

Don't allow yelling, or interrupting, just rationally explain to them your reasons.  Tell them they can dislike it, but this is what it is going to be.

I would love to homeschool, but my husband is not supportive.  I am not sure if I am disciplined enough either.  :)

Good luck, be firm, but kind.

Answer 4

If you're confronted with all these questions about why you're homeschooling, just be honest with them and tell them the main reason why you made this personal choice to homeschool your kids.  Explain to them in a kind and sincere way without being defensive, but give them the benefits of why homeschooling is what's best for your family.  People don't need to agree with you nor should you feel that you need to convince them it's the best choice for their family.   I've gone through this similar experience like you.

Answer 5

First off, congratulations for making the best decision for your kids.

The very best response, in my opinion, is to tell both your mom and grandma, "You did a great job raising your kids.  Now it is my turn.  I expect my decisions to be treated with respect and dignity.  If not, there will be no more discussions."

Be well.

Answer 6

If you're an adult & you're not doing anything illegal, you don't *have to* justify your actions to anyone about anything.  

If you want to maintain relationships with people, though, you do have to listen to them & answer them respectfully.  

So, go ahead & do that.  Listen to their concerns (and they are concerned about you & your children, or they wouldn't be talking to you about it), make sure that you understand them -then- help them to understand your decisions, so that they can be supportive of them for you.

Answer 7

Stick with it, you sound like your head is on strait. Tell them if they can not respect your decision then to not speak about it to you because you have your reasons & mind made up in this. Dont you just love family & the way they butt into your life? LOL

Answer 8

You're right- you DON'T have to justify your decision.  Unfortunately, your parents still expect you to.  Because they're family, I can see letting them know the different reasons for your decision.  Just be sure to make it clear that you're not asking for their permission to do what YOU feel is right for YOUR children.  One thing I have to keep reminding myself with my own parents is that they want what's best for our kids too- it's just that their idea isn't always going to be the same.  If you go into the conversation with that in mind, hopefully it will go a lot smoother.  If you don't explain your decision, you'll just come across as one of those "crazy paranoid homeschooling moms."

Answer 9

i'm not sure why you feel you have to justify your actions to strangers  -please inform me!