I'm having a non-alcohol reception. How do I handle guests' and non-guests' rude comments?

Question

My fiance and I decided together not to have alcohol at our wedding. The two of us rarely drink and our immediate families (parents and siblings) do not drink at all. The place we booked at is also a "dry" place so since we were set on having it there, even if we wanted alcohol, we couldn't have it. But he really doesn't want it and I didn't care and agreed to it. So now the problem is everyone else's opinions/remarks. We are having about 100+ people at the wedding and people keep making comments about it. Some of these people are not even people we're having at the wedding. They are coworkers or other acquaintances. They're also not always referring to my wedding directly (it's not as if I go around advertising that there will not be alcohol there), but they'll make comments about other weddings they've been to, "It was the most horrible wedding I was ever at. There was no alcohol." We also planned our wedding for the morning and our reception begins at 11:00 a.m. I thought this would "help" with our no-alcohol stance. Who wants to start drinking at 11:00 a.m.?

I don't know why I care. I should be most concerned with my fiance's opinion, my opinion, and then even my parents'. (They are helping to pay for the reception - about 50% - but they really had no input at all - their choice.)

What I need advice with is how to bring it up when someone who is actually going to be inviting mentions it. Do I owe it to them to say that we are having a dry wedding? Do they even need to know ahead of time? Am I right to say nothing and let them find out when they get there? Or am I right to tell everyone ahead of time?

I've been to weddings with and without alcohol and knowing the bride and groom, I usually can kind of guess if they will have it or not. So I don't think people should be surprised but apparently some are. Help!

Answer 1

You're best bet is to ignore the rude comments as best you can. Guests who know you and your family should know that you prefer an alcohol free reception.  Despite what some people may think you do not need to drink to have a good time.

For a morning reception I personally wouldn't expect drinking to take place.  I wouldn't mention it or even bring it up unless someone approaches you on the matter. And when they do simply explain that the venue is a dry venue and the reception is in the morning so no alcohol will be consumed.

I'm sure you're going to have a wonderful wedding. and I wish you the best. Your guests should be more considerate to you and your fiance then to make a big deal out of what is or is not being served.

Answer 2

It's an afternoon wedding, if they are that upset about no alcohol they can go out for drinks after.  In this case I don't think you need to tell people ahead of time, since it's a dry place already.

Answer 3

I didn't have alcohol at my wedding.  My guests that did drink didn't say a l**k about it because they were there to see me on the most important day of my life.  That's what they were there for, and that's all that should have mattered.  The people that are complaining are just the cheap people that want free booze.  They don't know how to have fun, or feel comfortable without a drink in their hands.  Especially at 11am, no one should be needing alcohol that early.  I think you've made the right decision, and anyone that doesn't like that decision doesn't need to show up.  Give me a break.  It's a sacred day in your lives, and you shouldn't waste one more thought on what they think about it.  You don't need to even tell your guests there won't be alcohol.  That's on a need to know basis.

Answer 4

Girlfriend, its your wedding... you do what you want. If people want to be upset and make it a big deal then they dont respect you. I believe that people expect there to be alcohol... so maybe it would be a nice thing to just let them know that it is a dry-wedding. I hope everything works out for you!!

   Congradulations!~

Answer 5

Don't worry about it.  If people are that upset that you are having a dry wedding reception, then they are missing the whole point.  If you are that worried, you can spread by word of mouth that it is a dry reception.  If you don't want to take the heat for the decision, blame it on the venue.  Tell everyone that you had your heart set on this venue, unfortunately it is a dry venue.  

As far as other peoples comments, I know I would say something flip like "I guess you weren't there to support the bride and groom if you are that concerned about alcohol."

Since yours is a day wedding, it shouldn't be a problem and if people feel the need to drink, they can always go to a bar after your reception is over!

Good luck!

Answer 6

I wouldn't say anything unless they bring it up and if they do just tell them that the place your having it at doesn't allow alcohol and you already have it booked.  This way they can't be nagging at you and trying to get you to change your mind.  Personally I don't think there needs to be any there.  You will still have a great time.   I would however change the time of your wedding and reception.  

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry about saying anything.  Think of it this way.  When I was married I read an article in a bridal magazine stating that if anyone was in a drunk driving accident because of drinking at the reception, we could be held liable for providing the alcohol!  When we saw that we also decided not to have alcohol at our wedding.  And we were married in Milwaukee, Wisconsin!  Beer capital of the country and a city where there is a bar on every street corner.  No one said ANYTHING!!  Not even my husbands close friends who were all single young guys at the time!  And maybe they all said something!  But I was having too much fun to notice.  

It is YOUR day and if it is something you and your fiance want then that is the way it should be.  I am a HUGE people pleaser.  But I always thought our wedding was the one day where we could do it OUR way.  And any decisions I made to try to make someone else happy ended up causing a bunch of trouble.  So stick to what is right for the 2 of you.

Another idea, if you are having friends that you think may want to drink, this is what we did.  We had a lot of out of town friends and they were all the people we were worried about complaining about alcohol.  What we did is we rented a Trolley and went for a ride around town with our close friends and wedding party.  We took coolers full of beer and drinks on the Trolley.  It was fun and such a special time with friends.  Leaving on the Trolley was also a nice end to the reception.  Congratulations!  Have a wonderful wedding!!

Answer 8

if they complain tell them that they are not welcome at your wedding it is your special day and your decision on whether or not alcohol will be there

Answer 9

put it in the invites and promise to make up for it with great food and music. how insulting, anyway, that someone would pout about it being dry when they're supposed to be there to celebrate your union, not drunkenness. i think my wedding will be dry b/c of all the addicts in our families. but if a friend or coworker said my wedding sucked b/c we didn't have alcohol i would tell them to shove it.

Answer 10

I agree with what Roxy said.  To anybody who gives you negative comments about it being dry tell them something on the order of "Oh, I didn't realize you were one of those type guests."  If they ask what you mean, and they probably will you just smile and say "The type that doesn't know how to have fun without alcohol."  Anyone who is rude enough to offer an unasked for opinion that is contrary to what you want deserves a tart reply.  You can also say "What kind of person needs to have alcohol at 11 in the morning?  Boy, I'm glad I'm not inviting anybody with that kind of drinking problem."

You don't owe anybody at all a reason why you aren't having alcohol at your wedding.  Enjoy your day and be happy in the knowledge that you're having the kind of reception that you both want.

Answer 11

Alcohol should not be a requirement for a wedding reception.  I just attended a wedding last weekend that too place earlier in the day and the reception started at about 12:30.  There was no alcohol and no one seemed to notice because the location for the reception was an old hotel that just simply didn't have a bar or allow alcohol on the premises.

My advice to you about people who make a big deal about it would be to just simply say, "we love the reception site and they don't allow alcohol, so there's nothing we can do about it."  I'd leave it at that.  There's no need for you to explain your choice, it's YOUR wedding.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 12

Con grads remember it is your wedding.There are a lot of christians that marry and definitey do notalcohollol.Its probably not even a thought.My famiPentecostalall and they serve some kind of apple cider drink.You could also serve Mimosa .Whatever you do you don't owe anyone and explanation.They were invited to be a part of your joyous occasion.    

Answer 13

Wow...I thought I was the only one who wanted a dry reception (or at least one of few). My rational for wanting a dry reception is that people act like fools / don't know how to act when they are intoxicated (it causes unnecessary drama and problems) and I don't want anyone ruining our day period. I really don't want alcohol at my wedding reception and honestly don't care what people think or have to say about it. They don't have to like it b/c it's not their day. Besides so many people run off and get married or have destination weddings at places that not alot of people can get to let alone be accommodated, they should feel fortunate to be included in your special day and that you are sharing it with them, to me that is enough. Too often people lose sight of what a wedding really is and what a priveledge it is to be in attendance b/c they feel they have so many "rights" and a say so to everything in your personal life.  

Just enjoy your day...you won't regret your decision.  

Answer 14

To be perfectly honest, I've been to a ton of weddings in my day and I think only one had alcohol. Who says weddings aren't any fun without alcohol? Better yet, who says you have to have alcohol to have fun at a wedding?

When people start in with these rude comments, simply reply "This is something my FH and I have decided on as a couple and we're perfectly content with this decision". Don't let people get you down just because you're doing what *you* want for *your* wedding!

Answer 15

You're under no obligation to tell them ahead of time.  If you weren't having a meal, I'd tell people ahead of time about that so they can eat before they come so they're not hungry, but there's no need to 'warn' them that there's not going to be alcohol.

If anyone actually has the audacity to complain to your face about it, just smile sweetly and say as if you're joking, "Oh, I'm sure people will survive the evening on just non-alcoholic drinks.  We're not such horrible company that people need to get blitzed to hang out with us."

Edit:  Maybe you could also have some friends come up with some recipes for some really great non-alcoholic drinks that the guests might never have tried before.  Sometimes if it resembles an alcoholic drink enough, they don't think about it as much as they would if they were just drinking soda and coffee.

Examples:

http://www.floras-hideout.com/drrecipes/...