I'm in a failing relationship with my girlfriend and I dont know what to do.

Question

She gives me all these mixed messages that I don't even understand. We've hurt each other before. She's cheated on me before, and I've lied to her about watching p**n. But we healed, we got over that. Yet recently, the stress, for her has been piling on. She is depressed, hates her life, wants to pull out of our relationship to focus on herself. But the reasons keep changing. First, its because i lied. Then its because she's afraid to commit. Then its because she's depressed andcan't handle a relationship. At first it was to be break, and finally I agreed to it. I left for Guatemala for missions, and then i come back a week ago, and she wants us to be together again. Then last night she wants to officially give on us . Then again today she's torn and doesn't know what to do. But she says she wants to be alone because the relationship is stressful. She says the break up is stressful, but wants to break up completely so we can be together later. I dont know what this means anymore, and she keeps saying she doesn't want to see unless we have a lot of time together because she might get stressed. This is all very confusing, and its starting to affect me physically and emotionally and I need help. What should i do? Does this say anything about me?

Answer 1

Stop beating a dead horse, it won't get up and pull the wagon !!!

   If you had cancer, would you sit around wondering, "why", or would you go for the cure??

  What the he*l does it mater what the reason is, what over is over and nothing will make it better.

   In relationships like this, once someone's out a few months, they discover they should have got out sooner. You can't hold someone, that does not want to be held, your just prolonging the pain, let it go and stop trying to hold her. What kind of a future can you have with someone who does not know what they want.

   If you want any chance at all of keeping her, then set her free to experience life without you... have no contact what so ever. That is the only way you will find out, if she truly loves you.  Otherwise, she will end it with hate and resentment.

Answer 2

you know wat, warn her that if she keeps doin wat she's doin than ur gonna give up on her and dump her. because if she's gonna make misery for you than it's not gonna work. you need a girl who makes you more than happy.

Answer 3

Call her bluff and tell her ok then. If she calls it off, that was her intention in the first place. If she still wants to stay with you, then she's playing head games and you sound too sensitive and nice to be treated like that. Find someone else with a bit more character and heart :)

Answer 4

man o man  --  hey listen your young , Don't think twice about putting this one to the curb.  And maybe you can think about your studies -- you know college.  There are a lot of pretty girls out for you man

     good luck R

Answer 5

Take her out, to amusement parks and stuff she should have more fun in a relationship you shouldnt always be serious and lovey dovy it should also be fun and happy:D shes depressed make her HAPPY! You can do it!

Answer 6

try to understand her, look into why she may be acting like this, there has to be a reason, give her the support she needs, keep complimenting her and trying to make her happier, tell her you dont want to end the realationship but if she needs her space to sort her mind out, give her it, otherwise she will feel awkward and start to get a bit annoyed.

i have been through what your girlfriend is feeling, so hopefully this will help =]

Answer 7

this is going to end in a disaster.

She's not sure of what she wants, your not sure of what to expect.

Its almost a bipolar relationship, without either of you having the disease.

She needs to  figure out her life put it all together in the rightperspective, hence i'm suggesting you all take a break before its too late and you can't mend it at all.

Just see how it will all turn out in a week , without talking to eachother or maybe less 4 days, and maybe that will give her a clear view of what life can be without you.

No phone. No computer, and Can not see eachother. That helped one of my friends out. regardless,  you guys need a break.

:]

llisten I know this might seem cruel and cold, coming from a girl.

But sometimes, guys are too good enough for certain people.

What I would do? Find my self a pocket full of sunshine.

a girl who's not going to keep hurting me with her mixed signals and all her nonesense. Find yourself a girl thats a bit more mature, and jsut think about it, this is going to end up falling apart, so why not let it go before everything is broken beyond repair.

Answer 8

Situations like this are not easy man. It sounds like you're desperately holding on to someone who is going through an emotional crisis. In my younger years I had a roommate that used to go through that type of indecision. The truth was she was unhappy with herself, and lacked the maturity and insight to recognize that she was intentionally destroying relationships that were going well.

My biggest advice is to try not to take it personally. That's really easy for me to say, but I'm assuming that you're looking for someone to apply cold hard math to this little problem of yours. There may be other things going on you haven't mentioned but truthfully it just sounds like right now her personal problems are relationship prohibitive. Let's be honest if you keep going like this you're probably heading for a nasty breakup.  If you really love her and you want to salvage the possibility of getting back together sometime in the future, sit her down and talk to her, encourage her to get some kind of counseling, maybe even look into some counseling for yourself, tell her that you both need to be sure of what you want. Every good relationship I've ever had was based more on good companionship and logic rather than romantic idealism. If after some time and introspection you're both in a better place so be it, but it really sounds like right now an extended seperation is in order. She seems to want you to take charge in a way, try to make it a decision that's good for both of you in the long run.

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A break is a break. It means that you be nice but stay clear. If she has a family or a good gf you send her their way. You can call to check up on her from time to time but she shouldn't "need you" she needs time to sort herself out without being influenced. Join a bowling team or something, fill the hours for a month or two.

Answer 9

I think you should just fully break up with her and let her figure things out for herself. If she doesn't know herself, how can she be in a committed relationship with another? It wouldn't be fair to either of you to continue in this unstable state.

Answer 10

you should end it.. because you are not a game...

and she will turn ur life to depression:S she's is one of this kind

Answer 11

mmaybe u should just end it