I'm in a slight Dilemma here, please help!?

Question

Well I've been accepted into two courses, Btec Business Diploma & Btec Business Award in two different colleges

well the problem for me is I don't really want too go to either College as I wanted to go somewhere new & return too a "normal life"

well I went too college A for 1 & 1/2 years, left the first course after I fell out with this girl "99.1% my fault", had a few rough times as a child but it caught up with me in High school after some c**p & I started getting ridiculed & I hated that so I would avoid the people that did that as often as possible "didn't happen that much.

went back too college A in september 2007 did a 1 year course loved the first half, but went weird in the second half after cris (went in the gym 1 day & just left after 1 set & neva went back lol)

I did a lot of weird stuff like becoming a bebo troll O.O (was a joke but towards the end twas becoming well out of hand lol lyk guys going 2 meeting places 2 fite "me" lol " I wasn't threatening (but looking back at it, it was really wierd) & I said sumthin really horrible 2 this girl I "fancied" on MSN (said something about her personal apperance) & she told me not 2 speak 2 her again so I didn't.

well that is why I don't wanna go too college A beacuse of all the c**p 50% my own doing.

then there is college B, where I will hardly know anyone (ok a few from my area) so It will be a fresh stat kind of 0,0

but the main problem I have is chossing as

college A btec national cert/Award/ I.T

is worth 3 & a half A-levels

College B btec national Diploma

is worth 3 A levels

well for me it's a social choice that is making me choose as I would easily go too College A if I knew people & wouldn't judge me about past actions, which would put people off me.

My social life is none exsistant I don't have any friends, 1 dude I know invitied me out but I just don't have the confidence too go out & mix with people at at the mo & I spend a lot of time inside e.g two weeks without going outside, it's just sick!! I live in the middle of nowhere with a small town near where I live iwth nothing at all too do!! people think i'm a freak,g*y,loner lol & i'm mixed race so that might play a small part in how people treat me.

But I just don't know what too do I tried too get out of where I live & study somewhere lese but I could be the same there as well, it's a scary thought, i'm 18 only had 2 GF's & neva kissed a girl lol O.o there have been a few girl interested in me but get put off by my personal situation.

I'm not always self pitying but I need some advise off people.

Answer 1

I would go where I myself thought that I was going to get the best education.. Do you really think that highly of people that you let them bother you.. remember its not what people think of you its how you think of yourself. If they dont like you thats cool you dont need them anyway.

Answer 2

I could be wrong but it sounds to me like you have virtually decided to go to College B even though the course is equivalent to 3 A Levels not 3 1/2 A Levels.

It may appear that you have chosen College B because it is the easy option but I think it is the best one for you.  Like you say no-one knows you there so it is a fresh start, which I think is what you need right now.  You don't need a load of old baggage following you around.  You need to be able to concentrate on your studies and try to improve your social skills.  

With the social skills you are in a catch 22 situation because the only way you can improve them is to go out and socialize/chat.  Thing to remember is though take it in small steps - set yourself small goals and gradually as you achieve your goals it will get easier.  The reason you need to set small steps is that you want to achieve little victories, if you set too big a goal and fail you will feel like you have gone backwards or are back at square one.  Give yourself time, don't rush it.  You would no doubt benefit from doing a Confidence and Assertiveness Course, and in doing the course you would meet people who are in the same boat as you.  MIND run (or used to) an excellent course of 10 weeks x 2 hours and they do daytime and evening courses.  What's more I believe they are free or they were when I did mine - you could make a donation.  Local colleges also run these type of courses.  There is also a good book on Low Self-Esteem called Super Confidence but I cannot remember who it is written by - will check that out.  There are lots of people out there with low confidence and self-esteem, more than what you would imagine.  

Go with whatever your gut feeling is, and try and see if you can get on a Confidence Course or Low Self-Esteem Group/Course it is likely to change your life forever and for the better............................. what have you got to lose.

Answer 3

Could you try and rephrase your "question", cause I'm not sure what your asking here? Are you asking us to make a choice of which college to go to for you? Or is the question, how do I make friends? You sound like your low on self-esteem, so going to college will be good for you I reckon.  

Answer 4

It sounds like for your future, college A would sound like your best choice. But if you aren't up to it because of your past you might want to go to B. Also for the social life, your not going to get one if you are nervous, and staying inside for two weeks at a time. Just get out there, meet new people. I know it sound scary but the one thing I have learned to do is just not care what other people say or think about yourself. And surround yourself with good friends. Not everyone is going to like you, a little rejection never hurts from time to time. All in all I would say go to college A.  

Answer 5

If i were you man, i'd go to B, make a fresh start, stuff in the past eventually gets forgot about, just be confident and dont let other people stop you doing what you wanna do man