I'm in love with a married man...?

Question

first off i dont need the lecture i know what i am doing is terrible ok????

im 22 and met him when i was 20. we clicked instantly and it was like i was always destined to meet him. the chemistry when we are together is off the hook. ive never fallen for anyone before so he is my first love.

the thing is i know i need to stop. the logical part of my brain is telling me that i commiting a sin and that he'll prob end up leaving me anyway (even though he's not mine but you get what i mean).

i cant stop thinking about him and somedays when i need to speak to him badly but i cant call him i cry and cry. he makes me so miserable. the only time im over the moon is when i see him 1 every 2 months

does anybody know how i can snap out of it and do the right thing? i'm really sorry if ive offended people who have had cheating partners. and i do believe i will get my commupance i just really need advice on how to break it off with him and get on with my life

thanks

Answer 1

Put yourself in his wife's place. He's cheating with you. If he leaves her and marries you, he will do the same to you. You deserve better. You need to tell him you are done. No more. He is using you and you are letting him. Smile, then go clean your house or apartment, clean out a closet, join a club, call your girl friends that you have been ignoring, volunteer somewhere, take a class, and just busy yourself in things that don't include him. Don't answer his cell calls, texts, or even if he is at the door. Just be strong and stop. A year from now you will be with a good man and so happy you made the right decision. Good luck.

Answer 2

Learn to respect another woman's marriage and leave her husband alone and find another guy preferably single.

Answer 3

Why do you love someone who makes you miserable? Doesn't that strike you as very strange and maybe a bit unhealthy? At your age you should not be spending so much time crying over a guy who, sorry to say, is using you. So, he makes you miserable, he doesn't respect you, and he's not there for you. Can't you just keep these three little points in the front of your mind? Oh, and don't see him or talk to him any more.

Even if he left his wife and came to lived with you, even if he married you, he would soon cheat on you as he is cheating on his wife. He is a liar and he is dishonest. He is not a good bet for a happy long gterm relationship. He is bad for you and will hurt you.  

Answer 4

Get out with your mates and meet a decent man who is unmarried and available. You will never be happy with the situation you describe in your question.

Answer 5

You see him once every 2 months?!  That's not a relationship or love.  Regardless of whether or not he's married, he clearly isn't bothered about you, or he would see you more frequently.  He's using you for a bit of s*x when he's not getting mush, or when it's boring with his wife.

You need to stop hanging around waiting for him (I'd say that even if he were single) and find a job/some friends/hobbies/social life.  You're too young to be wasting your life pining for someone who doesn't want you

Answer 6

So was I and I married him when he got his divorce. What a mistake! He was a mean, tight-fisted, cheating  wife beater who got what he deserved (death by alcohol and drugs)

Answer 7

What you need to do is realize that you can be happier than you are now personally I don't see how you are happy only seeing someone once or twice a month and knowing they are sleeping with someone else and spending pretty much all of their money on them. I hear you but I don't get it because I love myself more than that.

Answer 8

Everybody has the right to be loved and cherished in a relationship.  Married me are unavailable, and when they are it  is largely down to when they are available.  We cannot always choose who we fall in love with, but a word of advice, move on.  Married men rarely leave their wives and it is not your place to come between that - any marriage that dies should be as a result of the breakdown between the couple, not from an external force.

Answer 9

You have to get it in you mind that you are being USED by him, not loved or even cared for!!  People who cheat are not looking for a future wife or husband, they are looking for a sexually fulfilling good time and a 'good time' is all it is!  If this guy cared for you you would hear from him more than ever other month. AND he would NOT be seeing you on the side.   Get some self respect, free yourself and find an available man who really can fulfill you needs.

Answer 10

I was in the same boat. I felt so bad that i was in love with him but at the same time, i loved him. I couldn't call him and i only saw him every now and again. Its hard and people will judge you for it. You may not have gone in intending to fall for a married man. We cant help who we fall for. All i can tell you is to give it time. Things will get better. Just keep your head up and tell yourself you deserve better then a man that would cheat on his wife. Don't let other put you down for it cause if its anything like my case, you do a good enough job at it.

Answer 11

firstly dont put yourself down love we cant help who we fall in love with.i had an affair with a man who was unhappily married for 20 years.we fell inlove and 9 months later he left herf for me and we have been together for 10 years and happily married for 7 years.if this man loves you then dont wait for him for more than a year.if he loves you he will want to be with you.keep going out with your friends dont isolate yourself because of this man.you are only young and should be enjoying life.

Answer 12

you need to find someone else for you that's not married and you can be with.

Answer 13

1. Put yourself in his wife's shoes.

2. If he cheats on his wife for such a long period, he is probably not someone you can trust with in the future too.

3. Hence, you should leave him.  Otherwise, you'll probably have to pay your price SOONER OR LATER.

4. If you feel that you really love him so much, leave him first and wait till he separates with his wife (but don't have any connection with him during this time nor let him know about your plan).  If he comes back to you after he has separated with his wife because their relationship doesn't work and not because of giving up his marriage for an extramarital relationship, you may then reconsider if he is someone you still love and trust to be with.  But you may have probably met someone you love more and better than him by then.

Answer 14

What are you doing? Your not in love with him and he's not in love with you. All you are is a fantasy for him we he wants it. He is using you. You are a another life for him that's not the family. Change your phone number and stop any contact you have with him or his friends. Don't going anywhere that you guys would meet. How would you feel if you where his wife or kids? You probable only see him once every 2 months because he has another girl just like you that he is going to see. People like you make me sick all you do if feed these people fantasy's. Hope you are getting checked who knows who his has been with and will be after you.

Answer 15

this i spomething you need to figure out on your own im afriad,

first oof you need to think to yourself,.. like honestly,.. he's married and you deserve someone who will be with YOU and also,.. think about the other woman who is completly clueless,.. you should never be someones Second best and if he wants to be with his wife and not you then you should really just move on it will be hard at first but just try and completrely remove him from your life even if that doesnt seem like something you want to do in the first place... sorry but i figuered you need the version that wasnt sugar coated,.. but you do need to move on

Answer 16

You'll need to break off all ties to this man.  Stop calling him.  Stop seeing him.  Change your telephone number.  Block his emails or just delete them without opening them.

You seem to have a relationship with God.  Ask him for forgiveness and strength to step away from this sinful situation.  Then forgive yourself and move on!  Continuing to be involved with him is blocking your blessing!  How can you get a man of your own if your heart is all tangled up with someone else's man?

Pray about it and do some hard self talk.  Realize that the man is using you.  He hasn't and isn't going to leave his wife.  He is having his cake and eating it too at both your expense.  

Answer 17

I really don't understand people like you !!! Someone who let's themselves be used by another person just for sexual gratification. And to boot you even admit that he makes you miserable, that you cry over him and that he may even leave the affair !!! The time you spend on him takes away emotionally and physically the time you could be investing into a relationship with someone who truly loves you. I'm sure you realize that he's lying to his wife about his whereabouts when he's with you. He's deceiving her...he's conniving...he's a liar...he's untrustworthy...he's a cheat...you sure would be getting a top notch character....lmao. Give your head a shake and get it screwed back on right. You're smarter than that !!!

Answer 18

Find someone else (or something else) to spend your time on and give that all your attention.

Answer 19

I would'nt worry about breaking it off. When his wife finds out a marriage will be destroyed, he will leave you through guilt for his wife and family. No-one will win, nice huh ?

Source: Someone who went through it. Now divorced.