I'm jealous of my sister - how do I handle the following...?

Question

I apologise if i sound self-pitying, i don't mean to. I just feel very sad and needed to get this out. One way or another, although I come from a fortunate background, my life's been tough. The past 4 years in particular have been h**l, unbearable at times. I've had depression, a chronic anxiety disorder, extreme eating disorders...they resulted from several negative experiences which came all at once, among them a terrible relationship with my mum and a forced break-up with a partner I loved deeply, because he wasn't of the same faith as me. The agony of that went on for 2 years. I won't go into detail here but I'm a fighter and every time i've picked myself up off the ground, something else has come along and thrown me back down. Things couldn't have been more different for my younger sister. I love her to bits but I'm jealous of the fact that i've experienced so much pain in all different areas of my life whereas things have happened so effortlessly for her. She's capable at doing EVERYTHING, has always had my mum's respect and admiration, has met and is planning to marry the guy of her dreams (she's 3 years younger than me). I'm not afraid or ashamed to say I'm envious of her and more to the point, despairing about my own life. I wish for nothing more than to meet someone but despite being intelligent and attractive, have been single now for 4 years. it's hard to convey how hopeless and painful things have been for me here but anyone out there who's listening, please say some positive stuff to cheer me up. I feel really low.

Answer 1

you'll get through it as long as you keep your head up high and have some fun! maybe do more things for your mum and maybe she'll respect you just the same as your sister? go out and have a laugh with some friends the more you self-pity the more you'r going to think of the bad stuff in life instead of the good with will just make you more and more upset. as long as you stay strong you'll get though it! goodluck. x

Answer 2

I have been very moved by the account of your life. You do deserve better. Looking at your sister's good luck won't help though. There are always people who are more fortunate, and it hurts especially when they come from the same family and theoretically had the same risks and opportunities as you. But it's yourself that you have to look at and care about. Look into the mirror - do you see someone you like? If there is something you don't like can you change it? Then smile, take courage, and go out. Find good ways to inobtrusively meet people. I'm sure that there will several people who like you the way you are (if only you give them a chance to get to know you!). And then - good luck for the rest of the story!

Answer 3

Im assuming your muslim, if not please correct me.

When I met my husband his parents hated me. They are shia and I am sunni. They didnt respect me at all and now my husband doesnt speak to them. Your parents dont always know whats best for you.

I sufferd an eating disorder when I was in middle school, I was very overweight. I found that when I smoked weed, it made me not think about any of my problems.

I feel like you need some down time to yourself.

If your mom wants to keep you from being happy and playing favorites, leave them. That kind of mother doesnt deserve your respect.

Answer 4

I used to feel ALOT like you do, until I realized that what my problem was that I was WAY TOO self-absorbed and spent too much time thinking about myself and my problems.  I would say I was literally addicted to worrying about myself, my problems and feeling sorry for myself..  It is nothing but a bad habit and you need to make a real effort to break that habit and change your mindset.  

What I did that really helped me was to "get out of myself"!  I began doing volunteer work and that helped me to get out and to meet new people.  But you need to find what is right for YOU!      

You need to find happiness within, before you can have a lasting relationship with anyone.  

Answer 5

These experiences will just make you a stronger person.  God doesn't give you more than you can handle, that's what I always tell myself to make it through the day.  Just try to be positive and take everything as a learning experience.