I'm like so ashamed about this and I really don't know what to do? : (

Question

Hey. Please don't tell me the 'truth' or lecture me on how it isn't good to drink at all at my age. I already know okay? Anyways. I'm a 15 year old female. I went to my cousins house for a party and I was like pretty drunk. I could think perfectly I just couldn't do anything. Like I couldn't walk etc. I was wasted. My cousin is adopted. But like he was adopted when he was like a baby. So I grew up with him and he's my first cousin. I don't even like him. He's really like I don't know, weird. I just don't like him. I was sat on the couch watching a few people play xbox and he like grabbed my a.ss .. I like hit him. Like I think he was drunk or something. But I still can't stop thinking about it and I just feel so ashamed or like violated. I know it's nothing big. And people who weren't my cousin had done it before and I never cared but this is just gross. Like ew. I do not wanna tell him about it cause like. I just don't. So any advice please? Thanks so much.

Answer 1

I don't blame you. You hit him...so if he doesn't get it...hit him again!!!

Answer 2

My advice is what you already know, you are too young to be drinking. I have no idea where your parents are in all this, but if they don't care enough about you to make sure you aren't doing stuff like this, then you are going to have to do it yourself.

While your cousin needs to keep his hands off of you, and you need to tell him that, its up to you to control your behavior. The reason why we have rules about drinking ages, is because at 15 you cannot understand the full consequences of your actions. We expect that at 18 or 21, you will. If you are drinking until you cannot walk at 15, by the time you are 30, if you live that long, your life will be one long disaster. Is that what you want? Have some self respect and use that brain of yours to keep yourself out of these kinds of situations. If you are having trouble stopping drinking, then get yourself to an AA meeting or talk to a counselor at school and ask for help.  

Answer 3

I think you should be honest and tell him the truth, how it made you feel. so it will not happened again, he is your cousin. be very open about it. Don't let it slid, next time he will crab somewhere else. Speak to him about okay, and soon

Answer 4

Sorry to say it but some people can't handle drinking and they end up doing stupid things they wouldn't even think of doing if they were sobre! Some hardly even remember what they have done as well! This does not excuse stupid/bad behavior as far as i'm concerned though! I would have a talk with him and let him know how you feel about this and even the 'ew' part! In the future I would drinking with him again or any kind of situation with this person that makes you uncomfortable! And let him know it!

Answer 5

First of all, you did not cause him to grab your behind. That was not your fault. What caused him to do that, can be related to the alcohol or his own personal issues. Alcohol is a very strong substance that will cause anyone to lose control of their faculties, good judgment, etc.

As you had lost all of your faculties, the same with him.

You have every right to let him know, how it made you feel. This will cause you to lose the shame you are carrying. Although, you got drunk and lost control, it still was not your fault. Perhaps this will also open the door to some things in his life, if he has been abused or molested.

Answer 6

You are 15 you should not be drinking at...ha im only messing!!!

Am okay seems as you don't want to talk to him about it. Even though I think you should.

The best thing you can do is if anything like this happens like this again then tell him you are not comfortable with it.

Tell him you consider him family, even if he doen't see you in that way.

Goodluck.

Answer 7

I'd just let it go...though now everytime your around him it's going to be awkward..idk i side with you because i wouldn't want my cousin touching my *** lol.............and i highly doubt your cousin is a rapist from touching your ***. lol

Answer 8

Tell his parents. I know you're afraid of getting in trouble for drinking, but that kid clearly has a problem and needs help ASAP before he starts doing more than just a*s grabbing.

I think getting grounded for a few weeks is worth saving someone from being raped by your cousin in the future. It might even be you who is the victim.

Do the right thing.

Answer 9

Wow, I would feel pretty violated as well. Even if he was wasted he shouldn't have made any advances on you. You need to put him in his place and talk to him about what happened.  But maybe you are just remembering it wrong (at least I would hope so). This I guess is a flaw in adoption. You would think if they were brought up as family since they were a baby they wouldn't do something like this. In the same breath if you had kids with him would it be considered incest? This is just kind of creepy to think about.