I'm looking to start dating seriously. I need advice please.?

Question

OK. I have alot of things in my life lined up. I have my college degree. I have a car, my own place and some money saved up. I am starting medical school next week. I have a good sense of humor and am honest and kind.

I've decided that now is a good time in my life to seriously think about dating. If not now, then when? Residency or as an attending? But there are a few problems. How serious are each of these?

1.) I have no dating experience. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never had s*x or even kissed a girl. That means I won't be the kind guy who plays games.

2.) I have a disability. Osteogenesis imperfecta. When I was a kid, I broke alot of bones. I had to learn to walk like, 4 times. Now that I am grown, my bones are fine. But I have a really bad limp, weak knee joints, and am really short for a guy.

3.) I am very shy. Even introducing myself to girls is hard. The words don't come out right. Even if I pull off a cool conversation with a girl, she can probably tell that my hands are trembling, unless I put them in my pocket.

4.) There will be plenty of other med school guys. They will all likely be taller and more athletic than me, handsomer and better at conversations. They'll also have more money and be more experienced.

So my question to you is two fold. How serious are these four challenges? And what are some things I can do to meet a nice medical or pharmacy student, become friends, and see what happens?

Answer 1

I have a strong belief that there is someone out there for everybody.

1.) You seem like a very good guy. You are smart, and you have your life going for you for what it seems. Every girl is looking for a guy thats got it together, and is not a looser.

2.) Just as you have never had a girlfriend, i'm sure there are plenty of girls out there that have never had a boyfriend. And even the girls out there that are sick of the same old a*****e guys, they are possibly willing to give something a new a shot.

3.) You having a disability(if that is not an offending way to put it?) should hopefully not effect the way you live your life. You got into medical school, if you can do that you should feel likenothing can stop you from doing anything.

4.) Yes, there will be plenty of other med school guys, but that doesn't mean that there aren't alot of med school girls (even though the world still is sexist.)  and who says that these guys are going to be taller, more athletic, handsomer, and more conversational? And money usually isn't something that people should ask about, it is a rude thing to discuss, right? So, who has to know that they have more money? Just don't brag or gloat about anything and it will be much more appealing.

5.) Being shy, that might be a problem. Yes, i do like shy guys compared to guys that are loud an obnoxious But shy bothers me. My ex boyfriend IS my ex boyfriend becuase he never made the moves on ME, i had to make every single one.  And becuase he would still get NERVOUS around me after 5 months together. I know being shy is something really hard to get over, but just try your best day by day to come al ittle more out of your shell.  Talk to others that you wouldn't normally talk to, sit somewhere else in class, ect ect. Even if you are nervous in a situation, try your best to play it off as you are not, eventually this 'fake cool' will turn real.

6.) One time a good friend of mine told me " Stop looking, and it will come to you" and i didn't know what he meant, but i stopped 'scouting' for a boyfriend, and within two weeks i met a guy that i became intrested in and eventually dated.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Kudos in getting into medical school!!! ^_^ I'm trying to get there

On a serious note.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's all about personality. You don't need cash or need to be tall. When a girl truly likes you for you. It won't matter how much money you make or how tall you are. It will only matter that she wants to be with you.

Answer 3

You sound like a smart, independent, and strong person. Shy people find love and are in relationships, so dont worry about that. You have to see yourself as being wonderful (like you see all the men around you) and they need to see that in you. so be yourself! Don't look for love, just let it be...

Answer 4

Don't try to be someone you're not.  If you are nervous talking to a girl, that's not really a bad thing.  Women don't mind if you are nervous.  I doubt all the men in school are so much better than you, and anyway all women are not looking for the same thing.  Love is not about aquiring someone.

It takes some courage but the best way is probably to let some of the others at the hospital know you are looking for someone.  They may know of someone.  There is someone out there for you.  Don't let your insecurities hold you back.  Everyone has insecurities.  Even the handsome, rich med student has insecurities too!

Practice talking to women, any woman, and be friends with women.  Give yourself credit each time you are able to hold a conversation.  There are women around who have a hard time talking to men, too!

Answer 5

I don't consider the first one to be a challenge! A lot of girls wold find that sweet or even a quality that they would look for in a guy. The shortness and limp might be a disadvantage for you, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. Lots of girls like guys they can take care of! The shyness is a harder one though. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone! That's the best advice I can give you on that. Hang out with people who aren't shy! They'll push you forward. And don't worry about the med student boys. There will be plenty of women who aren't attracted to athletic guys (like me). And of course there will be people who are more attractive, more fit or more funny. That's the case for everyone! Everyone has (or will) gone through these sort of challenges! Just keep your head up! And don't be afraid to ask a girl out to the movies.  

Answer 6

Look at the bright side.  You're obviously smart if you can hack med school, and being a doctor is a pretty prestigious career.  There're plenty of women that will be into that.

Answer 7

Well if you have a great personality & you have something that other guys don't then i can say none of them matter. I actually think its kinda cute that you get shy like that hehe :)

don't worry so much on you're flaws because if a girls really likes you she won't care about all that!

Best of luck :)

Answer 8

your challenges:

1) honestly this is no big deal. i'm certain that there will be

other people-even girls-who have had no dating experience whatsoever as well, so i doubt they'll be judging much. and as for the girls that have had experience-some of us actually like a "new" guy. it's refreshing. you aren't like all the other guys that know how to manipulate or play mind games with us. your "innocent." trust me, a lot of girls will find that very attractive or cute.

2) short guy? so find a short girl :) but don't worry you don't have to confine yourself just to short girls. there are girls who are confident enough with themselves to be able to be with a guy shorter than them-it's no big deal. as for the limp i'm going to be 100% honest-so don't hate me! ;) - that will turn off some girls, BUT NOT ALL! besides you don't want the girls that are shallow like that. so don't worry about you limp...besides, the whole story sounds kinda interesting, it could be a conversation  holder after a few dates! ;)

3) it's okay. you'll be able to talk to the girls that are meant for you. you'll know it's right, when you meet the girl that can quickly put you at ease.

4) why would you say that? there's always gonna be someone better than you, and there's always going to be somebody worse. don't have a defeatist attitude because i promise you that no girl likes that. i want you to think highly of yourself, but not in a cocky matter. as long as you believe in yourself and act confident(again-not cocky!), girls will believe it, and will be attracted to you.

things to do to meet your potential wife:

-join clubs that interest you

-go places that you enjoy

dude you're in medical school, you're going to find a ton of girls with the same interests as you! just introduce yourself. if you find that too difficult, the most important thing to do is smile. it shows people your friendly. also, be a gentleman. if you do these 2 simple things, i'm sure you'll meet the girl of your dreams in no time!

good luck!!

p.s.- don't forget that we girls have our problems too! we are not as confident as some of us pretend to be! :) you're a catch, you've accomplished a lot, so don't worry!

hope this helped!

-faith

Answer 9

okay, bud, first of all, girls like the shy guy they think they're cute and stuff. and that you have money saved up a car a place to live and med school its good to have that a girl will realize your stable they like stable guys, girls in med school will probably be looking for stability more than to party maybe maybe not, be yourself and make friends and it will happen on its own good luck man!