I'm making the effort to have a relationship with my dad, but he isn't. Should I bother anymore?

Question

My dad is a raging alcoholic. He wasn't around when I was kid and there were a lot of broken promises and emotional abuse. I'm an adult now and at first I thought I'd just given up on him, but now I'm getting married and buying a house.. so I've been trying to call him more often. He doesn't call back though. I'm sick of making all the effort and he doesn't care. Should I give up? I have no relationship with him... and I can't see it ever happening.

Answer 1

My dad was the same, a total loser. We've come closer because his wife left him and he has no job, still drinks.... Its ok though. I only talk to him because I feel that he should be treated like any unknown person, I mean I'm courteous. But I don't go out of my way for him he's not a good influence on my kids. He still drinks. Swears, smokes. What I'm trying to say is don't sweat it, try not to think of others if they dont care for you. Live for you and your family. "THE PAST IS GONE, THE FUTURES NOT YET HERE, SO MAKE THE PRESENT GOOD"  work with what you have.

Answer 2

you should never ever give up.you keep on trying. you should still get on with your life. but still be close to your dad.do you love your dad. if you do then never give up.and at the end it will all work out.and if you should love your self. and you cant say you never try. you should try so hard.  

Answer 3

Yeah give up.  Sorry, but he doesn't want a relationship.  

Answer 4

If he doesn't even bother to want a relationship with you then it's not worth it. You're better off without him :)

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that, but you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. You tried and made an effort, take comfort in knowing you did your best. I know it sucks, but it's time to move on and make your new life w/your husband and (kids). Make a happy home for them and give them everything you never had.... Love and emotion being the first top two!!

Break that cycle....It was hard for me, but I did and I have a very happy daughter!!

Answer 6

I hate to say this, but you shouldn't waste your time on it.  You've already made an effort  to contact him and he doesn't return your calls.  You've done your part, now it's up to him.

Answer 7

You should tell him how this affects you and why.If he continues to ignore you then,that's it.Move on.When hes like this hes not aware of all his actions.