I'm making up a poem on the spot! Tell me how it is, please, and help me find a title!?

Question

I breathe in.

The cold night

Whirls around me,

Caressing my face.

The sky is black.

Black ink

Spilled

Across the sky.

Like words

Spilled across

A simple page,

It holds me.

Safety is

Here, of all places,

In the black night

Which is so

Terrifying

To others.

I look into

The deep pool

Of the sky,

And in darkness

I softly smile.

Answer 1

its very good, especially good for being on the spot.

though the best poems are the ones that you dont usually give any thought too. the ones where you just let your emotions swirl and fill your heart bringing the words to the paper.

anyhoo. very good. especially cause you didn't use a Rhyme Scheme. those are the toughest to make any sense out of.

if you write more, i would definitely love to see them.

Edit: i know i forgot to say a title. but i dont think it needs a title.

but if i had to suggest one.

Darkness's Light.

Answer 2

the cold night.

or

the black night.

Answer 3

it's pretty cool. let's call it  "a smile in a cold night"

Answer 4

heaps good spec on the spot!

mayb call it, "Safety in the darkness"

or "Safety in the black night"

or "Fearless night"

im not sure just some suggestions :)

check out mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

keep up the good work! =)

Answer 5

I will make up an ode on the spot,

With lots of words ending with a dot.

It will start off with a capital letter,

It might or it might not get any better.

I will try to make the lines rhyme,

I may make it given time.

It may not make the hall of fame,

But it will have a title - and end with my name.

Darren  

Answer 6

ohh i read you additional question and you said you weren't gothic i'm like ohh cause that sounded like it was gloomy lol but i liked it i love the night to way more than the day and ... i thought of a good title  a night theme or night dream

i don't know i rarely title mine i just number them lol