I'm nervous about meeting my 4 yo bro. We were separated when he was just a baby?

Question

i don't think he's going to recognize me. a few of you might remember me asking you if i should tell my parents about my little half brother, we were separated when we were put into the system. i was adopted, but couldn't help but wonder where he was. i did tell tmy parents, and they asked social services everything they possibly could, didn't give up until they found little Jacob. well, they found him (he's still being tossed around from foster care homes and shelters) and i'm going to go meet him tomorrow. i'm scared, he was only 9 mo. when i last saw him, he can't possibly remember me. i'm nervous. please help, what can i do to calm down?

Answer 1

i say just relax and be excited about meeting your long loss brother. that you havent seen in a long time

Answer 2

will your parents let you buy him a few toys?  nothing expensive, but 4 year old boys like hot wheel cars and anything else with wheels, and construction vehicles.  then you can give him these and play with him.  it'll break the ice.  i don't think he'll remember you...sorry.  but i think it's best for both of you to meet and stay in touch.

Answer 3

Im wondering how the foster care system alowed your baby brother to be placed with out you and you didnt have on going visits?This is the whole gole of foster care to keep as much of the family in tact as possable

Answer 4

What you could do is focus on making a present for him.  That way, you get your mind off your nervousness, you have something creative to do with your time, and your little brother will have something with which to commemorate this very special day.  You could decorate a box or a bag to put his toys in, or whatever you think he'd like.  Congratulations!!

Answer 5

Relax, this should be a very exciting time for you. Not a time to be nervous. He is four he will not expect anything from meeting you. Though he may be a little shy and nervous his self, so do not let that hurt your feelings if he backs away a little bit. Its a good thing you think about him and love him so.

Answer 6

That is awsome !!  

Glad to hear that even when your life was getting better - that your roots still mattered!

Answer 7

I am very happy for you!

Of course, he won´t remember you - so don´t take any of that personally. And he won´t really understand the situation like you do. I think it is just important that he understands you are his sister and his friend, and that you are very happy to see him. You may not feel "close" to each other - that is something that will take a while! I think you will both be just fine - it sounds like your adoptive parents are really helping you!! Whatever happens tomorrow (and I´m sure it will go well), let him know that you will keep in touch with him, and then do it. Send postcards, pictures, call him once in a while,(short calls are fine), see him if you are close enough. Don´t expect too much at first - but be happy that it is all starting!

I´ll be thinking of you tomorrow!!! :-)

Good luck!!!

Answer 8

How exciting! That is so special that you were able to find him. You will never meet someone more accepting than I child. Children don't judge, they just love. It will be a breeze meeting him. Maybe your parents could look into adopting him aswell. I was adopted with my sister and we have such a bond because through it all we had eachother. He may not recognize you but you will connect. Don't worry about this wonderful gift!

Answer 9

Just remember to be excited, he is so young he wont remember anything, and will hardly understand.  As long as your in his life now going forward he will be a very happy little boy!  Theres nothing to be nervous about, just be excited :)

Answer 10

That is awesome news! I would be nervous too. I do remember you asking that question and I am so glad it is working out for you. Who knows, maybe your brother will be joining your family again permanantly soon.

I knew your parents would not let you down. Keep us posted on how the visits go.