I'm never good enough (problems w/ mom). what should i do?

Question

My mom always has something to criticize me about. and she's the kind that would complain about the same thing over and over. She's always been pressuring me. She always scolded me for having a B or two on my report cards. there was one semester when I had the highest GPA in the class and my mom didn't say anything about it, and there was one friend that got worse grades than me and my mom said that my friend was smart (what about me???). In high school i was in the high honor roll. i got into good colleges. up until now I've never heard any "good job" or "congratulations" from her. and now my college is 5 hours away from home and she's been complaining how much trouble I'm causing her and my stepdad. All my life i've always tried hard to meet her expectations. I know that I might have made mistakes sometimes but I'm still doing my best. I only need a little support from her. I've been crying so much already. and I've started to hurt myself. I know my mom is working hard to pay for my college (i'm starting this fall), but it hurts when she keeps saying that I'm irresponsible, after all my hard work. What should I do? I don't want to be bothered be all these for the rest of the years in college...

thanks

Answer 1

high school is nothing but getting you prepared to work for the man.

most of the richest people in the world didn't even have a college education.

tell your mom to f*****k off.

stop trying to meet others expectations. be yourself.

Answer 2

Good mom's want the best for their children. Please don't forget her intentions are good. Not every mom knows how properly communicate this. Unfortunately, she may not know how to express her pride in you for your accomplishments. Maybe her mom did the same thing to her. Your mom believes that this is the best way and is the only way she knows how...that is how she was taught. See, at some point, her toughness has gotten results with you. So she believes it works and will continue to do this. She may see a lot of herself in you. There are sooooo many different reasons why she is acting like this.

I will add that the people only hurt themselves because the physical pain they cause themselves, temporarily allows them to forget the 'other pain'. In my opinion, tough love, and what you have described here can't be the only issue.

Talk to a professional. You should be able to get free help on campus.

Answer 3

First off, if you're hurting yourself...stop right there.  That's not smart of responsible.  Seek help for the issue.

Second off, tell your mom how you feel.  Don't get all emotional with her.  Just tell her that you are giving your best effort and trying to meet her expectations.  Find out why exactly she feels you are causing her so many problems.  If its a money issue, find ways to help offset their expenses in addition to dealing with the school.  A lot of young students have to pay their own way through college.  

Ultimately, you want mom's approval.  but you may have to accept that you aren't going to get it.  You cannot change mom.  All you can change is your response to mom.  Make healthier choices.  Do not hurt yourself.