I'm not 16 yet, but...I WANT A BABY SO BADLY!!?

Question

i've been with my bf for a while now, and we've talked about having kids..

i absolutely love kids..

it's to the point where i want to have a baby NOW!

i talk about it so much that now he wants US to have a baby.

he's 18..and he makes around $1,400 a week..he's hard working..good guy!..

i wanna be a mommy.

i wanna know how it feels like to bring another person into this world.. with a person you love.

he wants us to have a family..

and we both wanna get married next year.

but i know its a HUGE responsibility..

and most people think a girl my age can't handle it.

i've been around so many babies and kids that i'm sure i can do it.

what should i do?

i feel so confused.

i know it's not a good idea.

but i can't help but to want it so badly!

I feel so lost!..i don’t know what to think..or do..

And I cant talk to anyone around me about this!

any advice?..suggestion?

please no negative answers!

[ i don't need a sermon about how he's 18 already i know that!]

Thanks =]

Answer 1

uh

2 weeks ago you said you were 3 months pregnant.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel. Im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. same difference between you and your hubby. I used to want a baby so badly you couldnt believe it. but then i got an australian sheperd puppy (ALOT of energy) and the longer i had her the more i diddent want a baby as much. i thought i could handle one, but i dont know if i could. and now im 'late' and quite scared. if i am pregnant i would probably put the baby up for adoption just because im only 16 and cannot support myself, and dont want me and my boyfriend have to struggle with money or living. its not fair for the baby either. but every situation is different. hope i helped!

lauren

Answer 3

You're the perfect age for having a baby.Don't pay any attention to people who say you're to young.

Answer 4

Sure I wanted a baby always too, but I didn't have one until I was 20. I hope you will finish H.S. and get trained for a good job first. Let your boyfriend save up his money for the future for you two. Both of you need more time to get to know each other. It is best to be married for at least a year before starting a family. No need to rush as love will keep.

Answer 5

there are so many pros and cons... but if you are still in school dear wait at least til you graduate or beyond. And if he loves you how bout waiting until you are married. Totally not being negative I've been where you are and waiting is well worth it.

Answer 6

Get a puppy.  It is seriously a good cure for baby fever.  After caring for the puppy for a few weeks you'll be over it.

Answer 7

It is natural for a female to want a child, but I would wait.  In my job I deal with teen mothers and they all wanted a baby for various reasons, but every one of them says they wished they would have waited, finished school, enjoyed their teen years, and been able to provide for their children not only in life, but emotionally.  If you two are really in love, wait.  Enjoy eachother, travel, do things you enjoy and when the time is right, settle down and start your little family.

Answer 8

sweetie...you are only 16. even if your boyfriend is 18 and makes good money, you need to think about yourself. you still have to finish school, and work on your goals in life.

you say you and your boyfriend have been together for a while...exactly how long is a while? a few months? a year? a couple years? even if you want a baby now, can you picture yourself with this guy for the rest of your life? cause even if you never get married, you'll still have ties with him because you have a child together. you'll still have to put up with him untill the day you die.

if you know it's not a good idea, then why do it? why is it not a good idea? seriously think about this one...ask yourself over and over, "why is this not a good idea?" and come up with a list. then ask yourself, "why is this a good idea?" if the only reason you can come up with for the second question is "because i want to have a baby, my boyfriend makes good money, and i've been around babies a lot" then you really need to stop and think that not having a baby right now is your best option.

there is more to having a baby than a HUGE responsiblity. i know babies are adorable, and easy to love. but, you have to love that baby enough to put all your wants and needs aside-ALL THE TIME. it's not just a responsibility, it's a lifelong commitment. anybody can make a bottle, or change a diaper, or rock a baby to sleep, but it takes a real loving, devoted person to raise a child with the kind of unconditional love that the child deserves.

remember, they don't stay babies forever! they eventually grow to have minds of thier own. this means in just a couple years, you'll have to put up with temper tantrums, defiance, and times when you'll be ready to pull your hair out because your once sweet and innocent baby refuses to take a bath, or throws all of your expensive makeup or jewlery down the toilet. even better, they grow into teenagers...eventually you might have your once sweet and innocent baby look at you and say "i hate you" because you won't let them sleep over at a friends house. do you honestly think you are ready for these types of things?

you are still young. i've never heard a 16 year old say they were happy for having a baby so young. everybody i've known to have a baby before the age of 18 has said they wish they would have waited. even if you are positive that you can raise a baby with no problem, and things will always be good for you and your child, why throw the rest of your teenage years away? this is the time in your life when you are suppose to be having fun, not having babies. sure, lots of girls have babies at this age, but every day is a constant struggle. even if the money is there, you will still struggle because eventually you will see that all your friends are out having a good time while you have to stay at home and be a mom. you will have to deal with being tied down, and watching everyone else you know move ahead in life.

if you decide to have a baby, i wish you the best of luck. a baby can bring great joy into your life, just make sure you are ready for it for the rest of your life, not just now.

Answer 9

While what he makes may sound like a lot of money, it won't cut it when it comes to all the costs involved with having a child.  While you may spend a lot of time around children, you certainly are not ready for your own.  When they're your own, they're different.  They aren't always so cute and loving.  They demand all of your time and attention, and then years later will turn around and shout in your face that they hate you (those terrible twos and then again in their teen years).  

The best thing you can do for your future family is to hold off on making a family right now and finish high school.  After high school, go to college and get a degree in something.

Your boyfriend should save that money for a house.  A house you own is the best investment you can make for your family!

For now, get a puppy.  

Answer 10

If you really want it that badly then nobody can tell you that it's wrong, I know some 16yo mums who are excellent parents. However when you have a child you really do give up your life, you make it all about somebody else and alot of these young mums grow up regretting what they've missed out on. I too have loved children from a very young age and always wanted to be a young mum (not quite that young but close) However, due to my medical history it just didn't happen as early as I'd have liked. Now I am pregnant finally years later and I look back and think wow if I'd have known all this then I wouldn't have wanted to start so early (except that I'm glad I did cause it took so long). You can offer a child so much more if you have the life experience to draw knowledge and wisdom from. If I could make a recommendation it would be, start saving instead, whether it be for a house or for a baby. You and your boyfriend have some very trying times ahead of you without adding a child to the mix just yet and you have som many good times that you should go out and enjoy first. I hope you know that I'm not trying to give you a sermon here, I just really hope for your sake and that of a child you might bring into the world that you will seriously consider holding off a while.  

Answer 11

I actually went through this same phase and even though I haven't gotten over it I know (and always knew) I was/am definitely not old enough to be a mother. They may seem cute and cuddly but after babysitting little babies who at some points were sick I realize I could never care for them (at least not right now). I also know I would never have the financial support at this age to cover the costs of food, diapers, toys ETC. Wait! Enjoy being a teen before becoming an adult and taking on those responsibilities.

EDIT:: If your other question is true (which is doubtful) then why are you asking if you should become a mother when you are already "two months pregnant"?

*cough* Faker *cough*

Answer 12

hun, i am 27 with a little one on the way...i have wanted one for so long maybe since you age. The thing is, its more responsibility then you will ever know! Babies cost much more then you will ever expect. Wait! you have a life time to be a mommy, and only a short time to be a kid! enjoy it!

Answer 13

Wait until you are outta school and married

Answer 14

well it depends if you can havndle on affording a house and diapers, and food, and car seets, and strollers etc. and how your, and his parents feel. what about you future, and education? its all up to you really...

Answer 15

Have fun watching him go to prison... :)

It's illegal for you to have s*x with him... Duh. and when they find out the father of your child was 18! And they will... His *** is goin straight to prison... idiot.

Answer 16

you seem like you are very mature for being only 16 and i respect that maturity but if you are that mature and that smart then why not just wait it out a couple of years? This man wants to marry you when you are 18 and how will you celebrate your honeymoon or what about when all your friends graduate high school and are off having fun without you since you have a little one to look after and they wont find that "fun". I'm saying this because i had a baby at 17 and it was HARD don't get me wrong i wouldn't trade my first child for the world but its hard to be a kid and grow up with a kid you loose out on your childhood and every second of every day you have to devote to another human being is that something you can offer this child at 16? I wish i could of waited so its hard for me to read about girls who choose to do this at such a young age. why not live your life first then bring another one into this world that way you can devote more of yourself to the child get married first enjoy your man while its just you and him alone for a while  

Answer 17

Its a phase i promise really all women can say they didnt but everybody goes through that phase but some ppl werre born to be moms what you need to know if you would be hold the key to life the key to knowledge and the key to future generations and honey you can muck it up BIG TIME....Your life is over no more hanging out no more movies s**z your lucky to be able to shower everyday it takes so much time to be a parent, you have two full time jobs when you get pregnant being a mother and supporting your baby. its not cheap and its not easy and to be honest at you age you will NEVER find a guy who's gonna keep pokin just your hole your not exerienced enough in life or in bed to keep a man for life not a boy or a man..thats not cold its just the truth or  if you do you'll land one who's controlling and probably abusive thoose are the only guys looking to end their lives at 18 or 23 for that matter..Its just how the s*x world works your messin in sinking in things your can barely paddle through!

Answer 18

Wow, what kind of job allows an 18 year old to earn more than university professors?

It's good your at least thinking about it first, but just think about it more.

Just simply 'being around kids' doesn't qualify you for motherhood.

EDIT: Aww, I just re-read your profile and realized your full of c**p.

That's a shame. But I guess the 18 year old earning a ridiculous amount was the giveaway, before reading previous questions of yours.

Answer 19

Being around other children and having one of your own are two totally different things.  I think you should wait until you are older, you think you can handle it because you haven't went through it.  Most people are probably speaking from experience.  Many teenagers your age don't seem to like authority, let alone, people who know what you're likely to go through.  Wait on having a baby, and maybe try getting a temporary job at a day care on weekends, or baby sit if it makes you happy.  Good luck.

Answer 20

Ok if this is a real question.......??... it seems off but w/e to all those who are concidering

I am seventeen (17) and phyically you are ready to have a baby.

But do you want to go through the streaching of the stomach and emotional ride of having a baby so young.

You need to finish school first atleast... I hate to say it but Chances of you finishing school will be very difficult.

You wanting a baby is a phase i think, I sorta went through it too when i was 15 and 16. But honestly for me it t wasnt from all the media hype of Jamie lyn solange knowles, it was more than i was lonley and wanted to have love something and have it love me. etc etc.

Im a virgin still, and thank god I woke up............... life is very short, you should enjoy you're youth... trust me your young for a short time, enjoy it while it last, and how do you know you're bf will really be there for you forever.......

I think you should really re think this.... and think of the long term effects for you and youre baby if you have this child.

Will parents be there still?

Will you bf be there still?

Will you be able to finish school?

Will i be abel to hang out as much?

Will I be spending alot of money... how can i pay for thousands of dollars needed to be spent on a baby?

Am i doin whats best for the baby by having it now or can i wait a couple years , cause  i know its best for both me and my future child.

Think these questions to your self.... hope this helped. and please be smart and logical about this

you will have your baby one day and be glad you waited, for the right guy and fincialy ready for it.

Good luck!

Answer 21

You are 16. Please! No baby. You are not ready at all.

Answer 22

I'm not going to say you are to young. If you think you are TRULY ready than go ahead and try. I've wanted to be a mother for a long time and I'm only 21. We have tried for over 2 years and finally got pregnant. I wish you all the luck in the world. GL.

Answer 23

Well it is your choice.  However since you are so young, the parents might get in the way, cuz when babies are brought into the world it seems like the dads and moms of you try to take over. just something to think about.  good luck though

Answer 24

personally...i don't think a baby at 16 is such a good idea....what are you going to do about high school? Right now you have other responsibilities to be worried about like...graduating from high school...you say you and him have been together for a while, but do you really know what it's like to take care of yourself, a child, and the man you love (husband i suppose soon to be)...where are you all going to live? are you going to get a job? if so, how's going to take care of the baby when both of you are at work? are you going to want to cook, clean the house, do the laundry, work, and come home and take care of the baby, and go to school?

i think you should wait longer and see what direction your life and your boyfriend's life takes ya'll...if you are still together a few years down the road and feel the same way about wanting a baby then that's fine...go a head and do it, but just right now...i don't think is a good time.

Answer 25

slow down love. it's harder than you think! i was 16 when i had my 1st and 17 when i had my 2nd. i thought it would be all love and roses and so did my partner who was 19 at the time. but it's alot of hard work. babies are expensive but to be honest, i look at my girls and i regret nothing. i love them to bits. some people are just natural parents. i'm not saying go and do it but consider your decision before your go ahead. the stress of having a new baby caused my partner and i to break up etc... (we got back together and are having our 3rd now) but just don't jump in too deep. plus to save the legal c**p, wait till your legal so you don't have that extra stress. pregnancy should be a happy thing.

Answer 26

Ok so you have give us the sob story about love and him loving you and how wonderful you would be as a mum etc etc.  Gee give me the tissues please someone.

Lets just be clear on this ok.

The fact that you need to post this question says that within yourself you know your not ready yet.

Don't listen to us fools on this board.  Listen to your self.   You know within your self that you need to wait a few more years.

Ask your self.

Did you need to post a message asking if you should have lunch? go to the toilet or have a shower.  The answer is no for these unimportant thing yet for starting a family you ask us here, as you lay on a sob story, Playing on people soft side.  

If your serious about a family why not start now.

Stop spending money on silly things,  say for example you both should stop smoking and drinking as these are a money drain.  

Start saving as a baby brings high cost.  

Having a child equals giving up a lot of things.  If you cant do it for say 12 months how could you do them for say about 18  years.  Yet even that is wrong as a child is a life long commitment. Your stuck with them until the day you die.

Answer 27

My suggestion is to find a relative with a baby and keep their baby for a week.  Be totally responsible for that child. Washing the clothes, changing the diapers, fixing the bottles, giving medicines, taking care of fevers and teething and bathing and cleaning up the toys and disinfecting things, feeding, getting up in the middle of the night, etc.  Do it totally by yourself.  No help from the boyfriend or Mom or Dad or the baby's mother or father, nobody.  When you are done with that week, give the baby back to it's parents, and sit down and think some more about this baby thing.  I wanted one from the time I was a lot younger than you.  I didn't think I could get pregnant and then all of a sudden I met this guy, I got pregnant, we got married.  I had to quit work, he was working a forty hour week in a factory, he was a senior in high school.  I was in labor at his graduation.  Our daughter was five months old when I got pregnant with the second daughter.  Oh, my goodness.  I do wish I had waited.  I have so many regrets now that I am older.  There is so much I wish I had done.  But I didn't and those times are gone now.  It's not that I don't love my daughters, but I just wish I had waited till I was older.  Honey, have fun and do the things you need to do as a single person before you find yourself tied down.  I don't want you regretting anything you did.  

Answer 28

Jesus, you can't even drive yet! At least wait till you graduate from high school. Till then, get a job at a day care or something.