I'm not being too strict?

Question

We have decided that the boys who are 14 and 15 should not be up past 1230 pm and they are not happy about this. They were staying up till 130am - 200am and then sleeping all darn day and I had to put a stop to it so we told them that they were to be in bed by midnight and no later that 1230 pm unless given the situation they can stay up later (family Bonn fire or sleepovers).

Are we being to strict or am I right in not letting them waste away the day because they were up to late. I also don't want school to be that much of a hassle when it comes to adjusting to the early mornings and I figure having a bed time is a good idea.

Does anyone agree or disagree? Are we being reasonable? If you have teenage kids that are 14-15, how late do you let them stay up?

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

i think thats fine

Answer 2

You are doing fine.  No kid needs to be up doing nothing productive until that late at night and wasting the day away.  If there is something special, then fine.

Otherwise, stick to your guns.

Answer 3

Whoa, I definitely don't think you're being too strict. I just graduated from high school, and right up until my senior year, my bedtime during school nights was 10:00. Even in the summers, I was supposed to go to bed around 11 or 11:30. My parents are being a lot less strict now, but I am starting college, so I'm a few years ahead of your boys.

Answer 4

I thought teenagers slept all day no matter what time they went to bed.  

Answer 5

You seem like you are looking for people to confirm what you already believe based on the way you asked the question.

I think a bedtime for children who are 14 or 15 is a little unreasonable. They need to learn time management without you telling them when to go to bed. What do they have that is so important to do during the day (specifically in the morning) on the weekends? If they are being lax in their responsibilities, then wake them up. They will soon realize that staying up late isn't working out for them. As long as they aren't late for school, I wouldn't worry as much about them adjusting.  Everyone's body is different, and some people are just more inclined to stay up late.

That said, you are the parent and can do whatever you please.But in this case, I think you are micromanaging your children. What are they going to do when the move out for college? I have seen college freshman crash and burn because they are getting freedom for the first time and don't know how to act (I'm not saying this will happen to your children, but it is a possible consequence of them not learning how to make decisions on their own).

Answer 6

I was working pt 20 hours a week and going to school when I was 15 so staying up any later than I had to for work wasn't an option. My curfew never went above 11pm before I moved out at 18. So, NO, I don't think you are being too strict or unreasonable.

Your house, your rules...they don't like it they can grow up, get a job and move out and support themselves.

Answer 7

You cannot force them to sleep. Teenagers are on a different circadian rhythm from adults so be patient with it. A few days of getting up for school will have them to sleep earlier so for the summer, I would let it go. Don't give a punishment, but if you want them to sleep earlier, get them up earlier. Don't let them sleep until noon. You can't force them to sleep, but you can force them to get up.

It's not easy and it is in fact a hassle. I have to tap tap tap on the bedknob of my 15 year old boy's metal bed several times before he admits he's conscious and keep bothering him until he actually gets up. When his room is done in the basement and I have to stay down there to make sure he is awake (and it becomes easier for him to go back to bed after I leave) I will have to impose actual consequences for him not complying and I am not looking forward to that because there are days I feel like I am dragging him along getting him to do what he's supposed to do rather than enjoying his company and playing games with him and having fun.

I think that sucks. I hate being the heavy.  

Answer 8

I agree. 12:30 is late enough and with school coming up it is better to get them in the habit of getting up early again. Teenagers are always like that.

Answer 9

i think its reasonable, if them sleeping all day bothers u, one day u should wake them up early and keep them busy and by night time they wont want to stay up late, they'll ant to go to sleep (:

Answer 10

thats very reasonable!

wanna be my parent!

my aunt was 10 o' clock the door is locked,

so your late, your sleeping on the streets.

maybe you should start locking the door at 1230.

so they cant get in and will realize not to stay out.

Answer 11

You are being 100 percent non strict.

Answer 12

I think that is reasonable

Answer 13

I think you are lenient. My children would not stay up past 11 at that age if that. They would be back at the house at 9pm. no you are definitely not too strict.  

Answer 14

Midnight is fair. Although, I do think part of being a teen is getting to sleep in pretty late, and sometimes all day. I don't see the harm, unless it's during the school year. I used to stay up till 4 am during summer months and wake up at noon and still have a full day. My parents never bugged me about it.

If you must set a bedtime- midnight is fair, but can they stay up on weekends longer?

Answer 15

8-9 hours of sleep is what they need so bedtime should be set according to what time they need to get up in the morning.  My daughter will be starting high school and she will need to get up by 6:30AM so lights out will be way before midnight! LOL

Answer 16

oh ya its tottaly fine

dont worry they need sleep plus theyer at that age ya no!

its ok they might be mad  

Answer 17

no not at all your the parent not them. I think you where letting them off too easy my younger brother is 14 and he isn't allowed to stay out that late. my daughter will never stay out that late unless she's 18 .

Answer 18

I have kids that age, and until recently I would agree with you.  However, I have just seen research about the teenage brain that has changed my mind.  Apparently, teenager's brains are going through a growth spurt, and the need about 9 1/2 hours of sleep, or more, but their biological clocks are wired differently than adults, and they aren't tired at the same time in the evening.  Going to bed at 1:30, and waking up at Noon is perfectly normal for them.  Obviously, during the school year this isn't possible, but during the summer, I cut my kids a break.