I'm not happy in my relationship and want to end it?

Question

I am 46 and have been in a relationship with a very nice lady for a few years now. At first we used to have lots of fun together, but recently I feel this is going nowhere, we don’t live together and I don’t think we will ever. I am financially fine after my divorce, (but not rich) but she has nothing and I feel I would have to support her for the rest of our life.

My two kids (Boy and a Girl 19- 20) both have good jobs and at present live with me and we have a great relationship.

She has her two grown up kids (21 and 24) living with her in a rental unit, they are very lazy and don’t work as she does everything for them, she is of course very protective of them and will always stick up for them.

When anyone asked them to do or go out and get a job she gets angry.(only because she knows they are correct).

They always hint that I have the money and should shout them for holidays, clothes, and whatever they need.

I feel bad because I really like her but don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to live with her family.

I some time think that I would be better of alone.

Answer 1

Dump her or hump her dude...look, the apples don't fall far away from the tree...if you don't want to end up supporting her and her kids...stay away...

Answer 2

You would be better off alone.  She wants that money, and that seems evident to you.  Cut ties with her and find someone that wants you for you, not for your money.  You will end up supporting her and those kids for years and years.  

Answer 3

I think you answered your own question by saying you like her not one mention of love.  You are divorced and no need to get into anything but a good relationship.  Good luck!

Answer 4

you are not happy and what about her? a relationship matters and involves 2 and not you alone?

whatever the decision it should be made together and maybe there is a chance for further development. you 2 are married and have a family and mature enough to go thru such.

make the decision together an dnot alone?

good luck.

Answer 5

What qualities do you see in her that make you want a relationship with her? Are you staying just because you feel bad about breaking up? Have you been upfront with her about money and about your unwillingness to support her and her children, which should be supporting themselves? When they hint about money, what do you say? It is time to be upfront and clear with her and end the relationship if it isn't working for you.

Answer 6

My friend, I'm 34 and went through this with my ex wife and let me tell you it did not turn out good. At least you see the warning signs because I didn't. Although my ex wife did nothing at all to take care of her own kid, she did have a family of leeches who just could not get their acts together including her mother. Long story short, had I been smart enough to see the signs like you are seeing them now - I would not be in the mess I'm in right now. Unfortunately, her family reminds me of my ex's family - a bunch of greedy, lazy, irresonpsible leeches! RUN brother - RUNNNNNNNNNNN! That's all I can tell you man. You don't need anyone, no one needs anyone, that is not equally bring something to the table other than themselves. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your kids. You don't want them resenting you for bringing her lazy kids into your home while they work, her kids sit at home and do nothing. Don't cause that kind of drama in your life - cause that's all it would be.

Answer 7

Discuss these issues with her and tell her how you feel.  She'll probably dump you and you'll be off the hook.

Remember her kids aren't lazy all on their own, they've had mommy raising them to be that way all their lives.  Are you sure you like this woman?

Answer 8

Its time to let go.  You are not happy and life is too short!  If you stay with her you will have to accept her children as part of the package.  If you can do this, then stay.  If not, break up and stop wasting eachothers time.  Good luck!

Answer 9

just do it! what's the holdup, u guys are not married, she's nothing but a burden, so what's the big deal.  

Answer 10

You answered your own question. You are not happy and she is probably not happy. Move on, life is too short.

Answer 11

I was my ex-husband's meal ticket for a long time, and it does get old. You do not seem to have much in common with her and she does sound like a sponge along with her two lazy kids.  Why put yourself or kids through it?  You deserve to be happy, life, especially at our age *I'm 43* is going by faster and faster.  Don't waste anymore of your life.

Answer 12

It is not your job to support her grown children nor her.  End the relationship.  Her kids are adults don't worry about her needing money.  At some time,  she is going to have to make them take responsibility.  I think your better off with out her and her kids.  Your just responsible for your own children.  And they  have good jobs so their set.