I'm not sure if this poem makes sense but it wuz fun to write....feel FREE to read it!?

Question

guess i'll call it.....

"Traffic"

the freeways are bubbling

roadways being filled (to the brim)

spilt over the city's edge

the sun sips the foam

from our car hoods

as we hiss and fizz beneath them

trapped in summer like a bottle

slowly pouring us out

onto our sticky neighborhood streets.

Answer 1

wow....good work.

u inspired me to write a poem, i think this not you first one.

Answer 2

Ofcourse it makes sense, I cant see any symbolism behind it. To be honest I didnt like it that much, but keep trying, you have potential.

Answer 3

you say you are not sure if this made sense.... so I feel I have to answer on this first, and the rest of this, brain candy...

did it make sense to you? lol... if you said yes, what more matters? if you said no... go back and re-read your own words... lol....

second, I really wanna say that yes.. I am a "fan" of your words.. more importantly, I respect what you are saying, how it reaches out, is interesting(delightful) and by the end; it has enlightened; and does not just "poof" leave the brain...

    **that said.. that is nice, what you said.. but you cater to your soule, not me man... do not ever feel, you have to produce... this is art, heart, soule.... and not a cookie cutter express... I know, understand... any you wish to share.. I am more than happy to devour, savor and enjoy! and one day; when you get your works published, I will in line to buy every last prose, poetry... wanted to stress, really I do enjoy your words and mind.. the way you express simple, deep mind popping feelings... heartfelt.. in a very personal manner; while at the same time is true of anyone (almost) in this world here/now... surrealism

  -there are no orginal ideas/stories, just new ways to show/tell them... I heard said once, or twice...

   *you have a truly unique way of seeing, hearing the feelings and sounds, the words.... and making a thought, idea, feeling picture all your own...

   I see a few, including this poem of yours; as I read them... alongside/complimented in my mind.. by the brush strokes of an artist along the lines of (as I said in another answer) Jim Warren (since I do not know if you are familiar with his work site link:  http://www.jimwarren.com/site/ )

I respect his work a lot, his vision... his is a fine, easy on the eyes beauty, ripped from a surreal-reality, stark at times... and so classic-timeless, it transcends generations (to me understand... ) some, not as crazy/wild about... but see it for the great art it is... bet somewhere along the way, I will be saying exactly the same of you, your works...  

  *sorry if that was overly long (so far) thought about telling you to email me..feel that would have gypped you, to have given these accolades in private instead of public... and also, very presumptious of me to assume you would want me; anyone to...

third part I can address in this answer..

yes, it very much makes sense...  

we spend all winter wishing for summer to be here.. and when it arrives; we quickly find ourselves trapped and unable to escape the unbearable heat! tall cold icy drinks are on the mind, making us drool... lol (esecially in the extra hot heat of a city!) and laying out... going about the day outside... baking inside the cars/trucks..... the sun drinking up our patience, energy.... sucking the water right out of all us trapped within it's refreshing bottle....

--> and if this inner portion is/was unintentional? the sun slurps/drinks/sucks up our health too; dripping the lovely cancer giving uv-rays onto us... WOW!! great!! touches on various levels... tickling, fun, light, flowing.... visual... also hearing the sounds of soda fizzing, bottles popping open.. lol

the flow is amazing... freely flowing together line after line... love it.... with so much fun.. the impact of the meanings, surface.. and under lying is felt so much louder/harder.. and then the inner one.. making this a poem impacting on many levels... kewl, kewl, kewl!!! wonderful! wow... thank you so very much for giving/sharing this....

I hope I have not bored you, with all these answers

of mine giving so much, well deserved praise to you...

thank you for taking the time to read this

have a great day

hope I have been able to assist you

much luck