I'm not sure when to have the next baby... please help?

Question

My husband and I have a wonderful 16 month old little girl. My husband wants to try for another baby. I'd love to as well. But how do you know for sure if your ready? I'm having doubts at this time. I'm still in college and I think having 2 in diapers will be really hard. BUT I don't want my daughter not to have a playmate next year. She loves kids and doesn't get much interaction with others. So I'm torn. Its boiling down to my priority or my daughters. I'm leaning more towards my daughter but I still have to finish school. What would you do? Help!!

Answer 1

Do not have a child unless you are complete sure about it.  Having 2 children and college is way too much!  Relax, find a playmate for your daughter and have playdates.

Answer 2

I had my first daughter May 7, 2002 while earning my BS, and my second daughter May 30, 2004 while earning my Masters.  It is hard, but not impossible if you are focused and have the support of your husband.  Your eldest daughter will be out of diapers soon, so don't even worry about that.  Your girls will be close in age and love each other.  My girls have many similar likes and get along really well.  It is trying sometimes, but overall, they are great.    And, if you get pregnant soon, you can have the summer free of classes, which is what I did.  Although, I did have to take finals right before my second daughter was born!!!  Good luck to you, both with your family and your education!

Answer 3

I have a 14 month old and am 10 weeks pregnant.  I work full time.  You can do it!!!!

Answer 4

My kids are all exactly 22 months apart, and I thought it was perfect, so they would be close enough in age to be friends, but far enough apart to get enough attention. Lately I think another year apart would have been a little better. I would spread them out every 3 years. ( I have 4 kids)

Answer 5

I have 5 other brothers and sisters, we all fall each down in a row, except for the last one.

17 - 16 - 15 - 14 - 10

I'm the middle child, 15. I get along with my two younger brothers really well! Even if its 5 years apart. Don't feel like you have to rush into having another one. If your husband is ready now, he'll be ready later. So wait until you're ready, and then it will be a happy day for both of you (:

Personally, to make your daughter not feel lonely, you should spend more time with her. And if you really can't because of school, then get her involved in some daycare programs about 3 - 4 times a week so she can at least play with other kids (:

Answer 6

Very do-able, and i belive if i am hearing you correctly it would make you, your husnand, and your daughter very happy!!

Answer 7

my mom had me n my brother 2.5 years apart n it worked out ok., n then she had my lilist sibs who are 4 n 5 362 days apart its do able.. u n yer hubby gotta be like my parents and gotta be abe to commite to working together

Answer 8

It sounds like you want a playmate for your girl.  Go look around the neighborhood, i'm sure she's not the only two year old around.  

By the time the baby comes she won't be playing with him or her anyway.  The infant will sleep for the most part and your older one will be taking naps.  so they will be napping together but not playing together.

Get your school thing done because it sounds like its important to you.  It will be tough to go to school come home find time to read text books while there is dinner to prepare, feeding and diapering children that can't really do anything for themselves.  Bathing them and showering yourself.  Even if you do an online college program you will still need to set some time to read.  Time that you might not afford at the expense of sleep.

Answer 9

I have a 4 month old I am 2 months pregnant, I work and go to school for a better career. It is hard, but it is worth it. You can def. do it if you want to.

Answer 10

it depends. if the only reason is a play-mate ,don't do it. put her in a day-care, even if you don't work, 2 days a week. take her to the park or mcdonalds playground. a playmate isn't a good reason.

my experience and that of others i have seen, it goes 2 ways. the only positive thing i have heard: at least im done, no more! they are close together and it is over. negative: constant fighting because they are so close in age, very stressfull, 2 that are that young. 2 will take the attention away from the first. etc. i have 3 siblings. im the oldest, and i get along with them all.( i am 5 years apart from them) my sisters? they barely talk. they are 19 months apart. it depends on YOU. only you. your daughter is 16 months, she is too young to be affected either way, as far as priority either way. she doesn't know the difference, trust me. if you want another and you have the time and are ready, do it.  my kids are 5 years (1st 2) and i am pregnant with my 3rd, and my youngest is 8. my first 2, never fight, are very loving with each other, and take care of each other like a mother-hen. there is no, jelousy, bickering, borrowing or taking what isn't thiers etc. that is my situation, but im sure it isn't typical. and if you think about it, look at families that have more than 2 kids. the 1st and 3rd or 4th get along fairly well, but the 1st and 2nd if close together fight. you see it all the time. good luck, and do what you feel is right. not what you" think your daughter will think" also, im sure if you finish school, get a good job, and make good money so your 1st daughter can have nice things, she won't be complaining anyway!!!- above i meant to say my 1st 2 kids are 5 years apart and my third will be 8 years from my 2nd. my kids are 12, 8 and im pregnant. sorry for confusion!!

Answer 11

Having two in diapers can be a real pain.  There are alot of people who are an 'only child', and they are fine without siblings to play with.  Your needs (as far as school goes) take priority over your daughters at this time because you are going to school to support and meet her needs, right?  I think you would have an easier time if you waited until your daughter is a little older, (say two) before you try for another child.  Of course it is you and your husband's decision, and I don't think there is a 'wrong choice'. Also, by the time you have another child, your daughter will be around the age to begin potty training. Hope this helps:)