I'm posting this question again, since i have updated the site. +10 for most helpful?

Question

Once again. My myspace address for a business myspace i created is www.myspace.com/discoverytutoring

If you could please look at this, it is for a tutoring company and tell me what you think. Are there any errors? Would this capture your attention?

There were some issues brought up. I have since take my number off the site and added additional ways to contact me. Also I believe i have corrected all the grammer. As of my age being listed as 17, I am 17, almost 18, on myspace you MUST have your age displayed, this is determined by what birthday you put in. As of listing my qualifications, not every student will have me as a tutor, I have several tutors hired, I cannot list qualifications of myself without the parents having in mind that I will be the one tutoring. Thank you for your time and thoughts.

Answer 1

Yes Thank you for taking your numbers off...if they are interested they can message you. I think you have a great idea going and I do wish you all the luck...

Answer 2

Still several errors to fix. Look this over real closely for typos, bad grammar, punctuation errors, etc.

Discovery Tutoring is an in home tutoring company. A highly qualified tutor will come to your home and help the student in need with homework, test prep, as well as organization skills. All set up to help the student do well in school, and to reach their education goals. Our program is located in the high desert however we will travel elsewhere. Contact us by writing us here, or [e-mail] we are a licenced busniess.

In home consultations allow us to meet face to face with you and your child. There we will review what the goals are, go over different approaches, and review what your child is studying in school, and what they need help with. This gives us a better idea and understanding to what the child needs and what the best way is to "uncover their brilliance".

Our interest is in providing the extra help your child needs to do well in school, and in their future.

Music Education is important for everyone. We promise to help your child realize and meet their potential

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Personally, after seeing that page with all it's problems I wouldn't let you tutor anything... let alone a child.

And why would you put this on MySpace, with it's terrible image for pedophiles stalking children?

I wouldn't plan on making a living with this "service" if I were you.

Answer 3

I think it looks pretty good--as an "aging" person the background is hard on my eyes---but, I would keep it because it feels right....

My 15 year old half brother lives in Apple Valley and I hear he could use some help so I will forward the link to your myspace to our father--who knows!