I'm pregnant, and although it's not a good time, I'm not sure I can have an abortion.

Question

I'm 27 years old and I have a wonderful 2.5 year old little boy. His father and I divorced over some serious reasons that I don't need to get into here and aren't up for discussion, but needless to say...the relationship ended. We've stayed friends, and eventually became close friends again, and a few months ago decided to become a couple, which has been wonderful despite it's difficulties and we're working everything out that led to our issues before. We're very happy, and very committed. Still, we're not remarried and I like that if things did take a turn for the south...I'm not stuck.

Also, I start nursing school in September, and graduate next June. This has been my dream, and I finally have everything in place to make it work.

Well turns out that, despite best efforts in pregnancy prevention and NOT wanting to be pregnant right, I am pregnant. Or so says the two pink lines on my test from this morning. I called my school immediately, and I can still finish. It won't be when I was supposed to finish, and it will have to all be worked out, but they'll work with me. Regardless, my baby is still due in late April/early May. I'd have to jump into another class to finish, which is fine. But then there is the issue of loans I've already accepted, and grants I've taken.

And then there's the issue of finances. We're working them out, and we have a house and cars and he has a great job, but essentially...we have a LOT of bills. We'd discussed more kids, but meant to start trying late next year.

And then my family. I'm a late bloomer as far as school. They've been so disappointed in me and worried about where my life was going. They're SO happy that I'm finishing school...I've never seen them so proud. They'll be devastated to hear about a new baby. They're helping me pay for daycare while I'm in school, so how can I possibly say "hey by the way...I'm having another baby before I'm done."

I'm devastated. I want more children. I was seriously starting to want them with my ex-ex (complicated thing...being your ex-husband's girlfriend) and enjoyed the little discussions we had about our future. But I didn't want another one like this. For once, things were going right. School was worked out, things with my son are going well, my family is happy, I'm happy, my ex and I are happy together. And now BOOM. Bun in the oven. And I'm not sure I can have an abortion and live with myself. Advice? I'm extremely overwhelmed and confused and could just use an ear and maybe something positive, or at least not scathing if it isn't something kind. Thanks.

Answer 1

i feel really bad for u but just wanna say tht a child is a boon so only accept it if u mean it from ur heart....ppl will say wut they want but at the end of the day u have to remember if u dont have the money to support ur child u mite not b able to give him/her wut he/she deserves n mite miss out on a lot....for sure u can work out with ur school...as far as the family is concerned i m sure even if they get mad at u for now they will accept ur decision once they c the baby....talk to ur partner..yet make sure wutever decision u take u dont regret it now or later n also think about wut kind of life u wanna give to ur child...dont worry about wut ppl r trying to say to u they r not in ur shoes they will never feel wut exactly it is u r going thru u have to make the decision for ur family n urself ...there will b ppl trying to make u feel guilty about the decision u might make but dont worry about them....make ur decision n b happy :).....good luck!

Answer 2

all i wanna say is EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.....DONT TAKE THE BABY'S LIFE AWAY

Answer 3

As a Christian, unless you are one, which I am sensing you are probably not. You may not like my answer. However, as a Christian I feel inclined to give it. An abortion is never the answer! It isn't that childs fault that there are problems in your life. If you don't think you can raise it the way in needs to be raised in a happy home, then give it to someone who can! Also prayer is an awesome way to get the comfort and support you need. If you are a non-believer then just come to Christ with a humble heart and put your faith in God.

A baby is a true blessing! I would never suggest to anyone to have an abortion. I know that this is a very touchy situation for people. I know that you are obviously wanting to get your life straight before bringing a new life into it. Keep your head up and continue to be positive! Things happen for a reason! You never know what this child may bring to your life!

Answer 4

Um, you chose to have s*x, if you aren't ready for a baby, then don't have s*x.  Its that simple.  

Come to grips with having a baby.  You know what your options are.  Its terrible to even be considering abortion.  This was YOUR choice that you made by having s*x, not your babies.

This is why you are given 9 months to get ready for a baby.  Start getting your ducks in a row.  

Answer 5

well in the end you will have to live with the decision you make not your family. So make the one that you can live with, there is also adoption to keep in mind. Who knows maybe as the pregnancy progresses you will love it and see that it is a good time for it to happen. Good luck.

Answer 6

Really i don't think that a child can ever mess anything up. They are totally worth it and you have a son to prove to you every day. I am sure you are thinking of everything at once but hun its going to be okay. Take it slow and let one come after another. You being pregnant is a blessing and everyone should see that. Not every woman can carry a baby in them. Either they loose them or are infertile so they cant even have the benefit of the doubt of getting pregnant. My sister lost her baby at 5 1/2 months he came out normal she had to push him out he was a little over 1 pound and was all red and had everything formed. His little eyes his nose his 10 fingers and 10 toes. His little feet and ears and everything. He had his last kick and then was gone!! imagine how someone would feel expecting such a great gift and then boom its taken away and not by your decision. I can tell you what to do but that's not going to help i would rather give you the advise of taking care of your self and i know things may be overwhelming but that little miracle that you are creating not everyone can have that. So i would say be happy about it and do what you can in your school and i hope everyone is happy for you and understands. Good luck

Oh and the reason he died was because his lungs were not properly formed and was way to early... :(

*Mother of 2 year old daughter and 31 weeks pregnant with a boy :)

Answer 7

You just have to do what is right for you and the father, you can't let your families opinions run your life.  

Answer 8

if the baby is not wanted, then dont have it

or give it up for adoption

i was married to a real jerk and finally left when my children were grown.  raising two boys on your own is very very hard.  

the only good thing is i have two wonderful young men in my life while they have refused all contact with their father for 6 years now.  be careful how you handle this.  and good luck

Answer 9

Well, sometimes life throws you a curve ball.

I'm not in your shoes so I can't tell you what to do.

This is something you need to look deep inside and decide on your own.  Writing out your feelings is helpful.  Sleep on it and then think about it some more.

My heart aches for you.

Know you'll be in my thoughts.